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January 25, 2007
Frank Advice: Hillary Campaign Slogans
With the Hillary Clinton advertising on IMAO, I think it would be nice to offer her some help. Here are my ideas for her presidential campaign slogans: Hillary '08: Your soul is mine! Hillary '08: No power in the 'verse can stop me! Hillary '08: Naked ambition given human form. Hillary '08: It's time for a woman president whether you want it or not. Hillary '08: Don't vote for that black guy! Hillary '08: America has existed long enough. Hillary '08: Comedy gold! Hillary '08: Satan compels you. Hillary '08: The survivors will envy the dead. Hillary '08: You'll get a 10,000% return on your investment. Hillary '08: If I scare you this much, think of what's it will be like for America's enemies. Hillary '08: With me as president, the Mexicans will stop trying to get in here. Hillary '08: Because God hates you. 109 Responses To "Frank Advice: Hillary Campaign Slogans"
Hillary '08:The last vote you will ever make! #1 - Posted by: Writer on January 25, 2007 11:50 AMHillary '08: Join the Dark Side. We have HillaryCare and granola bites!
Hillary '08: Why vote for the lesser of two evils? Hillary '08: Since she's a lesbian, it's like voting for a man! #4 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:31 PMHillary '08: Because we all hate America anyway.... Hillary '08: The choice for America - even for you knuckle-dragging rubes in flyover country. #6 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:34 PMHillary '08: Like voting for Jesus. I he was a woman. And soulless. And evil. And consumed with hatred for all mankind. And.... #7 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:36 PMHillary '08: Her election will bring about the Rapture. #8 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:37 PMHillary '08: You don't want to make her angry. You wouldn't like it when she's angry. #9 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:38 PMHillary '08: Allahu Akbar! #10 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:39 PMHillay '08: Because she knows what's best for you, and you don't. #11 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on January 25, 2007 12:40 PMHillary '08: Sharia won't seem so bad once you realize I'll have to wear a veil when you see me on TV! #12 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:40 PMHillary '08: When we put Republicans into concentration camps we'll let them have cable TV. #13 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:44 PMHillary '08: Nice country you have here. You wouldn't want anything to "happen" to it, would you? #14 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:45 PMHillary '08: I'll only start wars that have nothing to do with our national security interests. #15 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:48 PMHillary '08: Or else! #16 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:50 PMHillary '08: The ice in her heart will reverse global warming #17 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:51 PMHillary '08: Felons and illegal aliens get to vote twice! #18 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:52 PMHillary '08: What could make us safer than having a member of Al Qaeda as President? #19 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:53 PMHillary '08: The muslims won't be angry once we give them everything they want. #20 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:55 PMHillary '08: 200+ years of democracy was a nice run #21 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:58 PMHillary '08: What's more fun than a communist dictatorship? #22 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 12:59 PMHillary '08: Feel the power of the dark side #23 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:01 PMHillary '08: The right man for the job. Hillary '08: Everything will be free! (Except for taxes) I liked the one Master Shake wrote the best. #24 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on January 25, 2007 01:02 PMHillary '08: The honorary fifth horseman of the apocalypse #25 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:06 PMHillary '08: Making more room for "undocumented workers" by forcing decent Americans to emigrate #26 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:09 PMHillary '08: Resistance is Futile #27 - Posted by: RichK on January 25, 2007 01:09 PMHillary '08: Bread and circuses! #28 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:12 PMHillary '08: I'll return everything we stole when we left the White House last time #29 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:13 PMHillary '08: Aw, c'mon. I already had the crown and scepter made. #30 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:15 PMHillary '08: Its not a roll of quarters in my pocket now bend-over America. #31 - Posted by: PWT on January 25, 2007 01:17 PMHillary '08: Do it for the children. Those tender, succulent children with meat that just slides off the bone and their sweet, sticky marrow.... #32 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:18 PMHillary '08: Don't make me get all "Vince Foster" on yo' ass! #33 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 01:23 PMHillary '08: USA Today, Tomorrow the World Hillary '08: Mwahahaha!!! Hillary '08: The Ashes Rising from the Phoenix Hillary '08: R I P, America Hillary '08: Because the Best Man for the Job is a Minion of Lucifer Hillary '08: To Finish What Bill Started Hillary '08: Your Soul May Belong to Christ, But Your Ass Is Mine #34 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 25, 2007 01:24 PMHillary 08: Finally put the Clinton that wears the pants in the oval office. #35 - Posted by: Moneyman on January 25, 2007 01:29 PMHillary 08! Because those BLOGGERS need to be taught a lesson. LOL MasterShake, yer killing me. #36 - Posted by: shimauma on January 25, 2007 01:29 PMHillary '08: In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth... Hillary '08: Why vote for the lesser evil? (I think that Chtulu might sue her for copyright infringement, if he were to awaken. Then again, he might just eat her, so we'd have that going for us) Hillary '08: You think that you know, but you have no idea. Hillary '08: Because I say so. #37 - Posted by: physics geek on January 25, 2007 01:31 PMHillary '08: Up Yours, America! #38 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 25, 2007 01:43 PMHillary '08: Sieg Heillary! #39 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 25, 2007 01:45 PMHillary '08: She can be patriotic without supporting the war. Hillary '08: 4 out of 5 Taliban aggree. #40 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on January 25, 2007 02:08 PMHillary '08: Power! Unlimited POWER!!! Hillary '08: Let the universe howl in despair, for she has returned. Hillary '08: NO ONE IS SAFE!!! #41 - Posted by: ZK on January 25, 2007 02:13 PMHillary '08: Fear the 'Stache! Hillary '08:You have too much money lying around--Gimme! Hillary '08: These hands can crack walnuts, you wanna try me? Hillary '08: Don't worry, Bill will be sleeping at Dick Morris's guest house. #42 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on January 25, 2007 02:17 PMHillary '08: It Takes a Village to Raise a Concentration Camp for Neo-Cons #43 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 25, 2007 02:18 PMHillary ’08: Obama – Osama – coincidence? Hillary '08: I can support the weight of the world on these pillar-like legs! Hillary '08: (Nazgul Shrieking, people peeing their pants uncontrollably) #45 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on January 25, 2007 02:19 PMHillary '08: My Dick is Bigger Than Yours #46 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 25, 2007 02:20 PMHillary '08: becasue Senators from the Northeast always win elections. Hillary '08: No Intern Left Behind once Bill gets back Hillary '08: The NYT wills it. #47 - Posted by: on January 25, 2007 02:21 PMHillary '08: Or I'll release the sex tapes of me and Rosie O'Donnell #48 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:27 PMHillary '08: The Power of Christ Compels you! #49 - Posted by: Robert on January 25, 2007 02:27 PMHillary '08: You know you want to be able to refer to Bill as the "first lady" #50 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:27 PMHillary '08: Once their man is in office, the New York Times will stop publishing national security secrets #51 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:29 PMHillary '08: I know how to deal with rampaging muslims because I always have sand in my vagina, too! #52 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:30 PMHillary '08: Keep those smelly hippy protesters off the streets and in their parents' basements where they belong #53 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:31 PMHillary '08: I'll be the second black President because nothing is as black as my heart #54 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:39 PMHillary '08: The Power of Christ Compels you! #55 - Posted by: Robert on January 25, 2007 02:40 PMHillary '08: Fear the pantsuit! #56 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 02:58 PMHillary '08: You won't worry about the price of gas once I've banned the automobile #57 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:00 PMHillary '08: Because three elections of gravely monotone Democratic presidential candidates is the standard, and mine make's Dick Chaney's voice sound like he's about to break out into showtunes OK, a bit long for a bumper sticker. Maybe just the first part. Pelosi '04, Hillary '08 - because "Parliament of Whores" shouldn't just be a metaphor. Hillary '08: 'Cause I still have your FBI file and I know where you live Hillary '08: It is by will alone I set my mind in motion... #58 - Posted by: Kent on January 25, 2007 03:00 PMHillary '08: Thou shalt suffer a witch to live! #59 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:14 PMHillary '08: Arise, my minions, and feast on the flesh of the living! #60 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:18 PMHillary '08: You can't criticize me unless you're a woman who has run for President #61 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:20 PMHillary '08: I am the law! #63 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:31 PMThese are more campaign theme song suggestions than slogans, but.... Hillary '08: Cold Hard Bitch Hillary '08: Bitch is Back Hillary '08: Evil Woman #64 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:33 PMHillary '08: Or I'll shoot this puppy! #65 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 03:59 PMHillary '08: Won't it be much easier for everyone when the minimum wage is also the maximum wage? #66 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:03 PMHillary '08: Just because I said "I don't recall" 43 times when testifying about the Rose Law Firm doesn't mean I'm... I'm sorry, what was the question? Hillary '08: Just because our ideas were all invented while we were stoned 40 years ago doesn't mean we aren't "Progressive". Hillary '08: I'll lie like a rug and then munch Janet Reno's. Hillary '08: You'll feel like a shower in '09 Hillary '08: Because it's time to stop worrying that the terrorists will destroy Washington. Hillary '08: Like watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show performed by Al Gore sucking a lemon #67 - Posted by: Kent on January 25, 2007 04:14 PMHillary '08: When the jackbooted thugs come to take you away, at least their boots will be stylish #68 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:16 PMHillary '08: Wouldn't you prefer a domestic terrorist to a foreign one? #69 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:18 PMHillary 08: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR...!!! #70 - Posted by: shimauma on January 25, 2007 04:22 PMHillary '08: Fear itself #71 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:24 PMHillary 08 - And Vice President Bob!!! (former Iraqi Minister of Misinformation) Hillary & Minime 08 - Have a little clone in you? Hillary 08 - "Because if you elect Condi...." **pan to mushroom cloud in background** Hillary 08 - Though I'm not the greater evil (glancing nervously at Cthulhu), I have 'personality'. Hillary 08 - Because Voldemort has no fashion sense. #72 - Posted by: Suihei Deloi on January 25, 2007 04:30 PMHillary '08: Because it will annoy IMAO.us and make lazymonkey sad. It will also be cool because then we will have Hillary and Pelosi together for awesome State of the Unions. We need many more women helping runour government. Needs to be much closer to 50%. Hooray for women in power! #73 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 25, 2007 04:31 PMrunour is a mistake I made in my comment. Don't make fun of me for it or I will spend much time thinking of words that will make you feel like losers. #74 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 25, 2007 04:34 PMHillary '08: At least the trains will run on time #75 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:38 PMHillary '08: Just think of me as a female Kevin Federline #76 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:49 PMHillary '08: I pee standing up, just like all the other Presidents #77 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 04:56 PMFirst, stop misspelling her name, it's not Hillary, it's Hillary!. Second, so when is Hillary!'s ad going to run? I want your advertisers to patronize me for a while. #78 - Posted by: Veeshir on January 25, 2007 04:56 PMFrnak, Hillary '08: Maybe I won't nationalize your industry #81 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 05:48 PMHillary '08: Because it takes a village to run a country! #82 - Posted by: Sixth Sense on January 25, 2007 05:48 PMHillary '08: Or I'll have Janet Reno burn down your house #83 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 05:55 PMHillary '08: If I'd killed Bill like I should have, you would have had Al Gore as President - YOU OWE ME! #84 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 25, 2007 05:58 PMHillary '08: Apocolypse Now! #85 - Posted by: Gun Toting Whacko on January 25, 2007 06:47 PMHillary in 08, Let me finish what Bill started, screwing America on citisen at a time #86 - Posted by: Independent Conservative on January 25, 2007 07:56 PMMaster Shake, you win!!! The RNC should have you on their payroll. But AlanBBQ, Hillary '08: Your Soul May Belong to Christ, But Your Ass Is Mine Classic!! If I didn't have young children who can read, I'd stick it to my car. #87 - Posted by: Sue on January 25, 2007 08:10 PMHillary, '08: The Candidate With A Heart. ... in her freezer #88 - Posted by: The Land Walrus on January 25, 2007 08:10 PMHillary, '08: Don't look into her eyes or you'll be turned into Algore! #89 - Posted by: The Land Walrus on January 25, 2007 08:13 PMHillary. '08: Because the only thing she puts in her humidor are tampons. #90 - Posted by: The Land Walrus on January 25, 2007 08:15 PMHillary, '08 : Satan's only begotten son #91 - Posted by: Birmingham Highlander on January 25, 2007 08:28 PMHillary '08: Make the Rich Pay #92 - Posted by: James on January 25, 2007 08:35 PMHillary '08: Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer! Hillary '08: Because you don't need that paycheck...really! #94 - Posted by: James on January 25, 2007 08:47 PMHillary '08: When life's a bitch, elect one as President! Hillary '08: No ilegal left behind. Hillary '08: Because Canada and Mexico should have been part of the USA to begin with! Hillary '08: Proving the inmates run the asylum! Hillary '08: Because you don't need E-coli to make you sick. Hillary '08: Making Castro look like your kind old grandpa. Hillary '08: Because Bill failed to destroy the military. Hillary '08: "Take me to your leader...like hell! Mua ha ha! Now I AM your leader and we invade your planet tomarrow!" Hillary '08: The end is neigh! Hillary '08: Respect my authorita! Hillary '08: The Republicans already had a Dick (Nixon)...now let me show you the Democrats have an even bigger one! Hillary '08: Hey, the End Times has to begin sometime! Hillary '08: Because the government needs your guns more than you do. Hillary in the white house + Bill leading the UN = Revelations come to fruition. #95 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on January 25, 2007 10:37 PMHillary! 08 - Le Etat C'est Moi! #96 - Posted by: Uncle JR on January 25, 2007 10:52 PMEnough of slowly f*cking everything up, lets get on the fast track. #97 - Posted by: Neo-andertal on January 25, 2007 11:24 PMDamn, so late in the game! Oh well, here goes: Hillary '08: It Takes A Village To Raise A White Flag Hillary '08: She's Got The Goods On All 72 Of Those "Virgins"! Hillary '08: Gross, But No Cigar! #98 - Posted by: bunkerboy on January 26, 2007 12:12 AMHillary '08: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid #99 - Posted by: Subvet on January 26, 2007 01:48 AMHillary ’08: “...........................dead silence – crickets chirping in background" #100 - Posted by: Neo on January 26, 2007 11:18 AMHillary, She puts her pants on one leg at a time, just like any other guy. #102 - Posted by: Mike on January 26, 2007 03:43 PMHillary '08: If You Don't - The Girl Dies, You Die, Everybody Dies #104 - Posted by: bunkerboy on January 27, 2007 01:16 AMAmericas failureis my success #105 - Posted by: mark on January 27, 2007 12:36 PMHey, Frank! You need to ask Master Shake to guestblog for you! #106 - Posted by: frankvoikel on January 28, 2007 01:54 PMHillary '08: Choose to Lose Hillary '08: Do Not Fear; We Are Your Friends. Ack ack! Hillary '08: Because America has too much power and money. Hillary '08: Give Marx Another Chance Hillary '08: The Beginning of the End On the other hand, why not use the one she's already given us? Hillary '08: We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. #107 - Posted by: CavalierX on January 28, 2007 08:17 PMDirectly from her own mouth - Hillary! '08: We're going to take your money from you for the greater good. #108 - Posted by: Ron on January 29, 2007 07:38 PM"Hillary '08: There is no Zuul, only Hillary." "Hillary '08: Who needs to know the difference between an ass and an elbow anyway?" #109 - Posted by: DesertElephant on January 30, 2007 06:46 PMPost a comment
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