Ryan just said the dumbest thing. Something like "Birmingham is the home of Bo Bice, Ruben Studdard, and Taylor Hicks. So we thought we'd come see what all the hype is about." Uhhh. All the hype is about Bo, Ruben, and Taylor. Well, not so much Ruben for me, but you get my picture.

Erica Skye (sp? I didn't is yelling "Unchained Melody", make that butchering "Unchained Melody", which she heard was Simon's favorite song. Oh good grief. She's gonna sing "Unchained Melody" by "Leann Rimes". It's not by her, but she did cover it, if you must know. You wish they would have been nicer? I wish you would have stopped singing when they asked you to the first time. Or the first ten times.

Katie Bernard. Um, I did not expect her to sound like that after hearing the Mickey Mouse speak. She can sing. I hated it, but I can't deny that she has a voice. I hope she sings differently, but she can sing. She's so stinking annoying but in a very cute way. Like she's the Kellie Pickler who could actually grow on me. The ridiculously annoying girl whom everyone loves for some inexplicable reason, but I could actually learn to like her. Except that she is not tone deaf like KP. Paula puts her through simply because Simon hates it.

Tatiana McConnico is 17 and fabulous. Yay, she's through.

Diana Walker is singing "Saving All My Love". Paula and Randy are laughing at her. She's really not so good, and she sounds like she's doing belly laughs on some of the notes. It is a little funny, I must say, but the way Randy and Paula are behaving... That's so RUDE!

Bernard Williams II. "Rock with You", and thankfully doesn't sound like Michael Jackson. I'm so over Michael Jackson. Sounds very good, and Simon says 100% yes. Paula says great tone but thinks it's off-key? What? Her eyes are kinda moving all funky, and her Coca-Cola glass is full of something that looks like water, right?

Margaret Fowler. She offends my senses with her Big Birdy ways. Haha, her name is Fowler. As in fowl. Chicken. Fowl. And she's fifty. Simon finally gets her confession.

Awww, that Coke commercial was totally cute.

Meet your next dumb blonde bombshell act. Jamie Lynn Ward. Except with an even more sobby awful sympathy-votey story. Sorry, but Frank and I laughed at that over-the-top story. Maybe not so much at the story itself, but the way she said it.

JUDGES: So tell us about yourself.
SYMPATHY VOTE: I live with my Grama. My dad's paralyzed.
JUDGES: Oh. I'm sorry. How?
SYMPATHY VOTE [matter-of-factly]: Oh. He shot himself. In the neck. [Just a-rockin' back and forth on her heels, grinnin'.]
JUDGES: Wow. Uh. Why?
SYMPATHY VOTE: Oh. It's ok. It just tells you to keep trying. No matter what. His wife was cheatin' on him. That's my step-mom. He shot her. Then he shot himself. Now he's paralyzed. And me and my Grama take care of him. Y'all wanna go get some ice cream?

Something like that. As you may have guessed, she's through to the next round. She actually had a pretty enough voice. And she's not tone-deaf like last year's sympathy vote. Randy and Paula said yes, and Simon said he would have said no. Oh, and her accent is even more over the top than Kellie Pickler's. And yes. She's from North Carolina. Yippee!

Chris Sligh, my favorite contestant so far. Finally, a contestant with a personality! Why are you here? "I wanna make David Hassellhoff cry." He references the tear on the Hoff's cheek in last year's finale when Taylor won. Hahahahahaha. Love it. Frank and I are instant fans. He has confidence but isn't pretentious. I could do without his overly shaky vibrato, but I think he won Simon over by proving that Americans have humor(humour) too. Paula's first seal clap of the the season, for a Seal song! And I'm pretty sure she's loopy now. And he's through to Hollywood.

Paula had to go back to Hollywood for a family obligation. She's related to Betty Ford? So now it's just Randy and Simon.

Victoria Watson has Crystal Gayle hair. She's a very sweet girl. She's singing "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban. She has a pretty voice but it's not Idol standard. Very nice when they told her no, though. No, please don't cry, because you're nice, and you'll make me sad, and I've been beaten down for two whole days and don't need to be sad tonight. But best of luck to you.

Lakia Hall. No no no no no no no no no. There is no reason for that ever to have been broadcast into my livingroom. No no. That was not nerves. What people say you can sing? No no. Don't do that. Ever.

Haha. Did y'all see that Ford commercial? Watch the text at the bottom of the screen. I thought it was going to be roughly the standard text.

Nichole Gatzman. She has the beginnings of a good voice but misses a fifth and goes up a third instead (or something like that) in "Something to Talk About". Randy says she's not ready yet but to keep trying. She's not bad, though, so she really should keep trying. She's just young. I was

Brandy Patterson is singing "Like a Virgin", and... oh. Then "Proud Mary". Wow. Um. She goes on for about ten minutes. We're cracking up at Simon cracking up because she is just so out there.

Tomorrow the auditions are in L.A. So if they get through to Hollywood, I guess the judges say "welcome to here."

• Currently 2.07/5
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Rating: 2.1/5 (14 votes cast)

American Idol
~SarahK's TV stuff
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