A Saudi Arabia funded school in Britain uses a textbook which describes Jews as "apes" and Christians as "pigs." As a Christian, I find this offensive. This is either implying that, because I'm a Christian, I'm a pig (I'm not) or that because I'm not a pig, I'm not really a Christian (also not true). I think Jews won't like being called apes either, and I IM'd Lair about this (Christians are allowed one Jewish friend) and his response was to toss leaves in the air and then pound his chest in an angry manner.

Now, before I get too judgmental, I should note that the Christian textbooks I had in school said the Muslims were "echidnas." This is also not true. While Muslims are small mammals and can often be quite spiky, Muslims do not lay eggs. By the seventh grade, that passage had been crossed out, though.

We have to be careful what we are teaching kids - even the Muslims ones - and misidentifying the species of Jews and Christians is just one of the problem of the Muslim textbook in question. Here are some other things it says that could be a problem for impressionable youths:

* "Warnings against sticking your finger in a electric socket are part of the Zionist conspiracy."

While it is true that part of the Zionist conspiracy is making sure their kids are not electrocuted (electrocuted kids can't grow up to seize Muslim land), Zionists honestly don't care if Muslims kids stick their fingers in sockets.

* "If you drink everything under the kitchen sink, you'll gain superpowers."

There are in fact very few recorded instances of this happening. This myth was mostly likely spread by companies that make liquid drain cleaners hoping to force parents to buy more of their product after their kids wastefully drank it all.

* "A faithful Muslim needs not look both ways before crossing the street as Allah will guide him to safety."

Only partially true. While Allah will look left and then right before guiding a faithful Muslim child across the street, Allah always forgets to look left once again after looking to the right. The preferred safe way to cross the street is to look left, then right, and then check left again, which a child will have to do himself.

* "Fear not if you are lost, young child, for Allah shall send a stranger to give you a ride."

Completely untrue. Allah may - may - give you cab fare if you pray really hard, but kids really should have cellphones these days.

I guess we Americans should get Muslims kids in Britain better text books with like math and stuff in them, but, then again, those kids will just grow up hating us all the more for the extra homework.

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