About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

February 07, 2007
Are Muslim Kids Learning?
Posted by Frank J. at 02:12 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (8)

A Saudi Arabia funded school in Britain uses a textbook which describes Jews as "apes" and Christians as "pigs." As a Christian, I find this offensive. This is either implying that, because I'm a Christian, I'm a pig (I'm not) or that because I'm not a pig, I'm not really a Christian (also not true). I think Jews won't like being called apes either, and I IM'd Lair about this (Christians are allowed one Jewish friend) and his response was to toss leaves in the air and then pound his chest in an angry manner.

Now, before I get too judgmental, I should note that the Christian textbooks I had in school said the Muslims were "echidnas." This is also not true. While Muslims are small mammals and can often be quite spiky, Muslims do not lay eggs. By the seventh grade, that passage had been crossed out, though.

We have to be careful what we are teaching kids - even the Muslims ones - and misidentifying the species of Jews and Christians is just one of the problem of the Muslim textbook in question. Here are some other things it says that could be a problem for impressionable youths:

* "Warnings against sticking your finger in a electric socket are part of the Zionist conspiracy."

While it is true that part of the Zionist conspiracy is making sure their kids are not electrocuted (electrocuted kids can't grow up to seize Muslim land), Zionists honestly don't care if Muslims kids stick their fingers in sockets.

* "If you drink everything under the kitchen sink, you'll gain superpowers."

There are in fact very few recorded instances of this happening. This myth was mostly likely spread by companies that make liquid drain cleaners hoping to force parents to buy more of their product after their kids wastefully drank it all.

* "A faithful Muslim needs not look both ways before crossing the street as Allah will guide him to safety."

Only partially true. While Allah will look left and then right before guiding a faithful Muslim child across the street, Allah always forgets to look left once again after looking to the right. The preferred safe way to cross the street is to look left, then right, and then check left again, which a child will have to do himself.

* "Fear not if you are lost, young child, for Allah shall send a stranger to give you a ride."

Completely untrue. Allah may - may - give you cab fare if you pray really hard, but kids really should have cellphones these days.

I guess we Americans should get Muslims kids in Britain better text books with like math and stuff in them, but, then again, those kids will just grow up hating us all the more for the extra homework.

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
8 Responses To "Are Muslim Kids Learning?"

I wonder what they consider ATHIESTS, lampreys?

#1 - Posted by: spacemonkey on February 7, 2007 02:52 PM

They consider atheists "Target Practice."

#2 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on February 7, 2007 02:56 PM

Allah wouldn't be giving cab fare to anyone. We all know that the cabs are driven by Moozlims, and therefore would give one of their own a free ride.

Kinda like the way Clinton did for them in the '90's.

#3 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 7, 2007 04:08 PM

Why complain about muslims calling us apes and pigs? That still puts us far above muslims on the evolutionary scale.

#4 - Posted by: Master Shake on February 7, 2007 05:37 PM

So what would mooselibs consider themselves? Liberals?

Uh oh...the mooselibs are probably going to riot for that insult (that's as low on the evolutionary scale as you can get)!

#5 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on February 7, 2007 07:50 PM

This would only be a problem is Muslims could actually read.

In actuality, the "Koran" was a book by a guy named Allan, who loved the band Korn. He lamented the demise of vinyl in hi-fidelity, and recommended
other fans write letters to bandmembers Jonathan and Fieldy requesting they release their albums on records.

A few angry muslims with reading comprehension issues later it became the Koran, about a guy named Allah who had a problem with infidels, and there's Jihads and Fatwahs. A few reading lessons (or someone to help them with the big words) could have saved everyone a lot of trouble.


#6 - Posted by: Son of Bob on February 7, 2007 09:49 PM

British Muslim textbooks calling Christians "pigs" and Jews "apes"? I smell a new Pink Floyd album...

#7 - Posted by: bunkerboy on February 8, 2007 09:01 AM

Mooslims are nothing more than sheep with anger issues. They are ignint, cab-driving snivelling cowards who prey on the weak, especially their women. I am getting to the point that we should build an ark, put 40 pairs of "tolerant" mooslims on board, set them adrift in the Atlantic then just nuke the shit out of the rest of them. Then we can have robots harvest their oil crops and strip the decayed flesh off their bones and make wind chimes out of them. Then we can beach the ark and place the 40 pairs of "tolerant" mooslims in the middle of the Sahara with no oil and leave them with some sandspur seeds, two goats and some lottery tickets. Of course we will have to put a dome of protection over all those pesky joos, since if we don't we will have done the job for the mooslims that they so desire. Oh, and we will make Jimmuh Carter president for life of the new Saharan mooslim state. Mebbe we can call the new county Porkistan. Just imagine what I might suggest if I weren't such a good Christian.

#8 - Posted by: captamerica on February 9, 2007 08:22 AM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933