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February 14, 2007
Ask Dr. Duck: Valentines Edition
It has come to my attention that many IMAO readers will be celebrating Valentine's Day alone. This is not something to mock. It's never nice to mock losers. So let me offer my advice. Are you trying to woo a certain someone? Are you having relationship problems? I have answers. I've been happily married for 9 years. Of course, that involves 11 different wives, but 9 years is 9 years. So - HAH!!! I'm sure you have questions. Q: Is this one of those Ask Dr. Duck segments where you sit back and watch people fall over themselves to ask questions and then you ignore them? Q: Are you sure? Q: But I'm happily involved in a relationship. I don't really have any questions. Q: Sigh. Should I post a question even if I'm happily involvedi n a relationship? Q: I don't know if I should post a question. You really don't give very good advice. ** Answers will be posted later today! BTW, in case my wife is reading this, I've been married 9 years to one lovely woman. Stop honey, don't go to that press conference!!! 14 Responses To "Ask Dr. Duck: Valentines Edition"
Are you ever going to restore the trust of your loyal readers by answering the OTHER Dr. Ducky questions? If not why not? #1 - Posted by: Brian The Adequate on February 14, 2007 12:01 PMWho decided that the heart is the "organ" of love and emotion? Why not the pancreas, or the left kidney? #2 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on February 14, 2007 12:03 PMIf I am a guy, and my girlfriend is a girl and she makes more money than I, would it be wrong to ask her to pay for dinner tonight? Wouldn't the fact that she makes more money than I mitigate my manhood, making her more of the man and I less of it? #3 - Posted by: some goon on February 14, 2007 12:09 PMMy girlfriend has this really annoying habit of asking me to do something later in the day (asking at 10am for something that needs to be done at 8pm for example) and then throughout the day keeps reminding me about it. This is really annoying because she has already told me once, I have a good memory, and I usually have no problem doing what she asked, is there a way you would recommend getting her to stop telling me the same thing over and over and just to tell me once? #4 - Posted by: -[Medic]- on February 14, 2007 12:24 PMDucky, do you form a new relationship each season after you fly north. What about the extra two wives, did you loose them to predation or a couple of tough duck hunting seasons. What about molting, has that ever been an issue. Oh never mind, I know I’ll never get answers. Is it a good idea to take a woman to Pizza Hut on Valentine's Day? What if you use a coupon to pay for a good deal of it? #6 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on February 14, 2007 02:47 PMWhat about those of us on the opposite end of the good/bad relationship spectrum on Valentine's Day? What would you recommend as an appropriate way to call things off? Besides a singing telegram from a guy in a bear suit holding a balloon, of course. #7 - Posted by: Sixth Sense on February 14, 2007 04:08 PMIs a Vacuum Cleaner a good or bad gift for your wife on Valentines Day? #8 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 14, 2007 07:22 PMWhat's the going rate on a fifth of vodka and a Playboy? Is it more than an average Valentine's day date? #9 - Posted by: Elliott on February 14, 2007 07:28 PMHow many times was I a baby? #10 - Posted by: Hebert on February 14, 2007 09:39 PMDear Duck, Dear Duck, Whoa! Double post, my bad...spankings all around! #13 - Posted by: shimauma on February 14, 2007 10:13 PMYeah!!!!! A spanking, A spanking. #14 - Posted by: Dan M on February 14, 2007 10:31 PMPost a comment
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