"The Democrats and the terrorists have never agreed on anything," Representative John Murtha told the press, "Well, we both think that the Iraq war was a mistake, we oppose America acting unilaterally, we hate President Bush and everything he stands for, and we use troop deaths as an indication that our views are correct - but other than all that, we Democrats and the terrorists are complete opposites on everything. That is until today when we've come together to oppose Bush's new troop escalation."

"Bush is an infidel and a joooo!" the terrorist next to Murtha shouted.

Murtha chuckled. "Exactly. That why the terrorists and I have come up with a plan to finally end the war in Iraq. I call it the 'slow-bleed' strategy. At home, we Democrats will use our legislative powers to limit the number of troops available for Bush's war. In Iraq, the terrorists will use their guns and bombs to also limit the number of troops available. Together, we'll make sure that eventually there will be no troops in Iraq."

The press was stunned silent. One reporter finally said, "Uh... I'm from the New York Times, and even I think that might be treason."

"Treasonous like a fox!" Murtha said.

"New York is full of joooos!" the terrorist added.

Another reporter stepped forward. "I'm Melinda Hawkish from FOX News, and I have a question for the terrorist."

"What is it, filthy harlot?" the terrorist asked.

Melinda pulled out a gun and shot the terrorist in the kneecaps. She then took out a package of uncooked bacon and began shoving it into the terrorists mouth. "You want bacon? You want bacon?"

"That's unnecessarily combative!" Murtha shouted.

Melinda dropped the bacon. "Well, the only other questions FOX News is allowing me to ask are about Anna Nicole Smith."

"This press conference is over!" Murtha said. "Death to America!"

* * * *

Somewhere in Iraq, Buck the Marine was watching the news on TV with fellow Marines. "You ever get the feeling some of the America people and politicians don't support us?" Buck asked.

"It's not like they want us dead," Gomez said. "They just want us to lose and be humiliated."

"I thought I once heard that Murtha was a Marine," Johnson said.

"That's just a lie the enemy put out there to demoralize us," Buck responded. "Don't believe a word of it."

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In My World
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