 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
March 09, 2007
They Won So They Could Lose
Democrats have decided on a timetable to pull out of Iraq. How did they decide on it? Through the intense strategic analysis they're known for. First they used a Risk game board with Startego playing pieces to map out the battlefield and run through scenarios. Next, they looked up Iraq on Wikipedia. Then they did cocaine that was cut with detergent. After that, they went to the circus. When they were scared by clowns, they went to a gay bar downtown to settle their nerves. Later, they threw darts at a calendar to pick the dates for withdrawal. When no one could hit the calendar, they just used their pets' birthdays.
President Bush has vowed to veto the plan and then let his dog Barney pee on it. If he were truly a leader, though, he would publicly whiz on the bill himself instead of delegating the task. The Marines in Iraq are happy, but that's because they're confused about the scope of the plan and think it's about the Democrats leaving Iraq. They've always been scared there are Democrats amongst them and will be glad to have a firm date when they know they'll be gone. Poor Marines. But, don't worry, newly trained Lieutenant Joe foo' the Marine will soon be there to lead you to victory! He's my brother and he's at least a third as smart as me (which is really really smart). Also, he makes nachos with three kinds of cheese. So why do Democrats want to lose so badly? Because they remember their greatest accomplishment: Losing the Vietnam War. Now they hope they can lose wars with much less casualties. One day, they hope they can urge pull out and simply the threat of American troops being hurt. "They're shooting back! We have to pull out troops now!" When that happens, we will no longer ever get involved in any wars and we'll have like peace or something. Terrorists or other mean people may still attack, but this will be the future so we'll just shoot them with our time ray and let Jesus deal with them. Once again, this is all outlined in the Democrats' plan. 12 Responses To "They Won So They Could Lose"
I cannot even articulate a response to the Democrats so called "plan" without resorting to words that would make a sailor blush. Man, we need the mysterious Rumsfeld strangler now more than ever. #1 - Posted by: Derek on March 9, 2007 07:58 AMYou are not only correct, but the second stage is create such fear of guns that they can have them made illegal, along with knives, stones, sand and bad words. #2 - Posted by: Writer on March 9, 2007 08:26 AM//If he were truly a leader, though, he would publicly whiz on the bill himself instead of delegating the task.// Tell him to make sure to use it to wipe his bum first too. firking demoncraps, one of the things I'll be really pissed about when the islamofacists invade is being too busy killing the enemy to say "we TOLD you so, you firking asshats!" #3 - Posted by: shimauma on March 9, 2007 08:47 AMDemon-crats the party of Defeat, Discouragement, Debauchery, Deserters, and Dolts Your theory gives the Dems far too much credit for being able to think or plan. The simplest explanation is that the plan came from their masters in Al-Qaeda in America. #5 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 9, 2007 10:28 AMIf only the Dems would use analysis like Frank J. said. That would be better than what they do currently. I want some three-cheese nachos. #7 - Posted by: karanadon137 on March 9, 2007 11:23 AMThis picture of Nancy was taken right after she asked Chris Dodd for a sandwich. #8 - Posted by: Moneyman on March 9, 2007 12:24 PMHilarious! The caption under Pelosers face is the best part. The 'L' is missing from her forehead. no it think it's the "666" she's missing. #10 - Posted by: shimauma on March 9, 2007 01:49 PMThe Democrats are right - we should pull our troops out of Iran - and put them in Darfur to stop the genocidal killing there, like Bill Clinton did in Rwanda. Those are the only situations where American force should be used. #11 - Posted by: Ima Gluehuffer on March 9, 2007 03:46 PM"....we should pull our troops out of Iran - and put them in Darfur to stop the genocidal killing there, like Bill Clinton did in Rwanda...." Is that with or without popcorn? #12 - Posted by: ron.eye.mouse on March 9, 2007 05:40 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
