We at IMAO agree with the principles set forth by Texas Governor Perry. It’s time to put aside petty politics and do the things we need to protect our children. That’s why today we’re here to ask you to join us in a worthwhile cause. You see, it’s easy to say, “Well, my children won’t engage in THAT type of behavior so what risk do they really run?” But we never know, do we? Sometimes kids can be innocent victims, other times, they’re lured into that lifestyle by that crazy music.

That’s why today we’re asking you to sign a petition to enforce a new law.

The Every Student Wears A Bullet Proof Vest Program.

Yes, we can hear you with your typical blather and objections.

“I don’t believe in guns.”

Or “I don’t believe in guns before marriage.”

Or “Will this vest make me look fat?”

But that doesn’t matter. The horrible reality is that science has not yet developed a cure for a bullet to the heart. Maybe one day we’ll have a cure for this developed by leading scientists or Al Gore, but that’s decades away from happening.

Yes, we must protect our kids. Furthermore, We’re tired of all these kids shooting other innocent bystander kids. Violence, like sex, is a deep primal urge. It is foolish - and a violation of free speech - to try to control this urge. Rather, much like sex education, we should teach kids about these urges and how to carry them out responsibly. For example, very few schools have classes in Marksmanship. Why? Probably because of the Radical Religious Left and their uncontrolled “riflephobia.” Yet how many senseless deaths could have been avoided if we had taught proper trigger control? .

Our high school kids need help and special attention. Otherwise, most of them will get distracted and start doing things they shouldn’t really be doing – like homework. So enough with the obstruction to these programs. The vests, the marksmanship – these things will help stop the senseless loss of innocent life.

Here’s how the program works.

Students are issued bullet proof vests. They wear the vests everywhere kids hang out – school, the mall, myspace. If they get shot in the vest, it saves their lives, which of course if the purpose of our amazing program. Students are issued a new vest when it gets too full of bullets or the student gets too fat. Vests would be available in designer colors and styles.

Now, some parents may want to abstain from this program for religious beliefs. I say No Way! Some ideas are just too silly.

Please.

Do it for the children.

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