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March 23, 2007
Unscruting the Inscrutable Iranian Mind
Iranian naval vessels on Friday seized 15 British Sailors and Marines who had boarded a merchant ship to search for smugglers in Iraqi waters in the Persian Gulf. It's being assumed that Iran will claim that it was because the British were operating in Iranian territorial waters, but there's been no official word yet. Which makes me wonder what reason they'll give when they finally speak up. Here are my best guesses as to the reason Iran will give for kidnapping 15 British Sailors & Marines: * Thought that the hilariously quirky sketch comedy troupe they'd ordered from England had finally arrived. * Mistook them for carbon offsets. * Needed someone to explain that "cricket" thing. * A simple request to borrow a cup of limes went horribly awry. * Hoping to trade hostages for nude photos of Queen Elizabeth. * Looking for helpful tips on how to get some islands back from Argentina. * Seeking a diagnosis - is this parrot resting, stunned, or pining for the fjords? * Just a little backsliding in their "don't kidnap the British" 12-step program. * Desperately searching for insensitive pricks with British accents for reality-TV judging panels. Ok, I don't know the real answer. All I know is that in 2500 years, they'll be making a movie called "15" featuring another 20,000 dead Persians. 17 Responses To "Unscruting the Inscrutable Iranian Mind"
* They were actually rescuing the poor famished British soldiers from their imperialist commanders. Maybe by the time "15" comes out, the "Persians" will have advanced in to the 20th century at least; they may even like it. #1 - Posted by: Spyndrilleum on March 23, 2007 12:53 PMIntelligence suggests that they were trying to determine the unladen weight of a swallow. #2 - Posted by: Moneyman on March 23, 2007 02:26 PMAfrican or European? #3 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on March 23, 2007 02:47 PMOk, I don't know the real answer. All I know is that in 2500 years, they'll be making a movie called "15" featuring another 20,000 dead Persians. *LOL* Keep 'em in your prayers. #4 - Posted by: ochagirl on March 23, 2007 03:17 PMAfter the Congressional fiasco I needed a good laugh, and you provided it. Thanks! #5 - Posted by: DAR on March 23, 2007 04:38 PMAquaman paid the Iranians in deep-sea uranium for new "dates". #6 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 23, 2007 04:59 PMThe Mullahs asked for British sheep to satisfy their urges, but the Iranian naval officer thought they said ship. #7 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 23, 2007 05:03 PMAll this time, 15 British sailors was what Mahmoud Abbas was praying for. Who da thunk it? #8 - Posted by: G Fresh on March 23, 2007 05:44 PMI'll bet they were surprised to find that Prince Harry wasn't among the troops they captured. Iranian "military intelligence" strikes again. #9 - Posted by: seanmahair on March 23, 2007 07:10 PMThey hadn't heard about about Beckham signing up with the LA team, and were hoping to improve their chances for the next Olypmiad. Either that or, in desperate need of firearms, they thought they were kidnapping the Sex Pistols. Or they had a few rape victims to execute and were hoping to bag some Rolling Stones. #10 - Posted by: DesertElephant on March 23, 2007 08:26 PMWhen the Iranian commander stepped onboard the British vessel they were supposed to quickly escape into Iraqi waters with the Iranian commander onboard. Unfortunately, no one alerted the British crew that it was another Iranian General surrendering to allied forces. The British got confused as the real nature of the incident and surrendered prematurely. This used to be how only the French and Italians operated but it is now official EU policy to surrender first than ask questions later. #11 - Posted by: Neo on March 23, 2007 09:17 PMI just saw 300 tonight, and I can now die happy knowing the Persians got their asses handed to them. History repeats itself, right? We can only hope. Seriously, that movie rocked. Hardcore. #12 - Posted by: SilverBubble on March 23, 2007 10:13 PMThis is what happens when you go around singing "Rule Britannia" with a 30-ship navy... #13 - Posted by: bunkerboy on March 24, 2007 01:50 AMImmediately following the kidnapping, CAIR issued a statement condemning the manufacturer of the British boats for blatant and offensive smears against the religion of peace. #14 - Posted by: Son of Bob on March 24, 2007 11:48 AMThis is what happens when you go around singing "Rule Britannia" with a 30-ship navy... Posted by: bunkerboy In fact Bunkerboy there are 91 commisioned ships in the royal navy!Second biggest in the world second to the US! I think we should leave afghanistan iraq and invade iran all on our own no doubt america would love it! We have the man power expertise and fire power! Iran wants bombs lets give em bombs! #15 - Posted by: RockyCardiff on March 25, 2007 10:27 AM"Iran wants bombs lets give em bombs!" Afterwards we'll just say "Hey, we just delivering those bomb parts they wanted" :-) #16 - Posted by: Harvey on March 25, 2007 10:39 AMYou apparently haven't been reading the papers, RockyCardiff. Your Labour government has whittled the fleet down to about 30 - smaller than France's, and about the same size as Turkey and Belgium's. You guys are invading NOBODY. Cheerio! #17 - Posted by: bunkerboy on March 29, 2007 01:46 PMPost a comment
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