April 01, 2007
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
Inexplicably, Fred Thompson receives a copy of tomorrow's newspaper at his doorstep every morning. He uses it to wrap fish since Fred Thompson doesn't care about either today's or tomorrow's liberal slant on the news.
I was watching the hunt for red october last night, and I have a new facorite Fred THompson quote.
"Russians don't take a dump without a plan son."
The Russian Five Year Plan For Dump-Taking:
1) Make sure communal bucket is under ass before take dump
2) All comrades must take turn empty bucket once every five year
Oh yeah, Frank?
Well, I hear that simply gazing on Fred Thompson's sweat cures most childhood diseases, male pattern baldness, dropsy, and the HIV.
Too bad nobody's ever seen him sweat.
I just want the paper to place some bets...
John Bolton's mustache isn't real.
It's a glue-on made from Fred Thompson's hair.
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