Media pricks prattling on and on and on should be stoned

Love is not real; a hole in the condom is. =(

good stuff, Frank.

You were trying to come up with a unified field theory again...weren't you...admit it!

If someone gets shot, those too feeble to handle a firearm will immediately call for "gun control".

If you put your finger on that problem (make use rockets), you'll just burn your finger.

You really need to think these things through.

Mormons want to cut through your tough exterior to get to your chewy goodness inside.

Don't sweat the petty things & don't pet the sweaty things.

Louisiana Gold hot sauce has no place in the bedroom.

If you dose yourself with Rohypnol, you won't remember date-raping yourself.

Cats aren't crazy about power tools. Or fire.

A = Rosie is fat and B = Fat People Are Stupid C= ...

Killing a loud-mouthed pacifist is no different from adding some chlorine to the shallow end of the gene pool.

A mine is a terrible thing to waste.

He who loses a friend in San Francisco will always find a new one in the end.

The funniest thing about clowns is the squeaking sound they make when they're set on fire.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you think alien entities are reading this with you, thank a Scientologist.

Sorry Alan, but you should always pet the sweaty things.
That's how I met my first wife.

"If someone gets shot, those too feeble to handle a firearm will immediately call for "gun control"."

Speaking of gun control I'm willing to give mine up, of course they get the bullets first!

"If someone gets shot, those too feeble to handle a firearm will immediately call for "gun control"."

Speaking of gun control I'm willing to give mine up, of course they get the bullets first!

Don't sweat the petty things & don't pet the sweaty things.

Evangeline Lilly on the beach in Aruba being the exception to the rule...

Media pricks prattling on and on and on should be stoned

They prattle because they are stoned.

Waste is a terrible thing to mind.

Ok, if you want unified field theory, here's the version without the math:

Gravity fundamentally affects how the other three (already unified) forces work. One of the two great secrets to unification is understanding how gravity affects gravity. (How did the gravity escape from the black hole again?)

The other great secret is to recognize that there are no constants in the universe except for the speed of light, around which everything else is structured, because the speed of light is the speed of communication and regulates how time and space are exchanged with each other. Oh, and the speed of light isn't constant either, it was different in the past.

But if all you really wanted was wise words to live by, go with these three corallaries to Murphy's Law:

-- Nature favors the hidden flaw
-- Never eat prunes when you're famished
-- Don't mess around with Mrs. Murphy

Woohoo! Capitalist_B brings quantum physics to the wisdom table!

And on that note, we shall not ever breach the lightspeed barrier, or even come very close to it because or mass would increase the closer we got to it. Unless, of course, we we able to turn our molecular structures into a a tachyon-like state...in which case, we would arrive at our destinations before we left for them.

"Its a fact of life that people are going to try to stab you." Had to learn that one the hard way, when my grandma stabbed me. With a fork. She really, really wanted the last dinner roll. At the time, she was bigger than I. Who's laughing now, grandma? Hope those pitchforks where you are now aren't too sharp for you!