I think this is a bad idea. Most attorneys are wonderful, lovely people. If you've had a bad experience with one, perhaps you should come to my office for a free consultation concerning the remedies available to you.

Lawyers are like black magic. It's only evil until you wanna use it.

Johnnie Cochran was like anti-matter.

You need to modify the Mexi-Cannon to run on lawyers. We need our gunpowder and oil for killing other for'ners.

How about sending them to the moon instead of just in the ground or back to Mexico? Then we Sue the Moon. Much cheaper and easier than nuking it!

SHOOT IT STRAIGHT UP THAT WAY WE CAN WATCH THEM BOUNCE! ITS MORE FUN THAT WAY!

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Posted by: cadet on May 8, 2007 10:40 PM

Post a good photoshop soon and you won't be the first test subject!

Again this is a complex issue. The shooting them straight up method sounds like wicked fun. But who cleans up the missed catches? Can't we just use the Mobius Continuum to transport them into the middle of the sun? Or would that bother the Galactic EPA? And, what if our inter-stellar neighbors have a quota system set up in dealing with their own riff-raff /lawyers/Etc? We might screw things up causing more sun-stains (Spots?)
Oh My Gosh, what if earth is the Galactic waste dump and that's where all these lawyers come from? We could be in serious Universal trouble for illegal waste management.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions....Plead permission or beg forgiveness? I'm not above begging forgiveness!!

So will the gun be called a GreaseGun or an OilCannnon or how about a PrickProjector? Firing lawyers from a gun is going to require constant cleaning of the mechanism to remove sludge and other build up that drips off the shootee before being fired out the barrell. Unless the explosion is hot enough to burn all of this up...which in the case of a lawyer would propel them at the speed of an F22 Raptor using full after-burners...

I can't BELIEVE that you'd think of something like the "Lawyer Cannon!" What about the environment? Do you not realize how much pollution the expended gun powder is throwing into the atmosphere.

Why not something more eco-friendly like, say, the "Lawyer Chipper-Shredder" (TM)? You feed them in and when you're done you have a nice mulch that also contains a high concentrate of fertilizer (BS) for use in your garden.

I heard that there was a company or something in Iraq that used a similar device before the McChimpyBushHitlerHaliburton war mongers showed up.

Sorry, but I just can't support animal cruelty. What would the world be without those lovable leeches, vipers, skunks, sharks, ticks, fleas, louses, barracudas, vultures...? Oh yeah...happy. Never mind.

Can the first launch be the Liar in Chief Slick Willie or will we have to wait for his disbarrment to expire? If not can we darken him up and send him south with the Mexicans while we wait?

Could we enlarge the mission to include politicians and lawyers. Then enact legislation to prohibit lawyers, lobbyists and other vermin from living in this country.

We could send them to Mexico and Cuba. Fidal really deserves them, and Fox is working on it.

Reminds me of my favorite lawyer joke:

How many lawyers can you fit in a phone booth?
.
.
.
.
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I don't know either, let's get a blender and find out...

SGT Dave
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." - George S. Patton

Chickenhaulin came close. I'd like to see them launched upwards at the call of "PULL"!!

Here's a design modification that will help prevent unwanted legal pollution. Take a standard Mexi-Cannon, insert a lawyer, and fasten a steel sewer grate firmly over the opening. They won't fly off to Mexico or pollute the atmosphere this way, and it is a time-tested mechanical process --lasagna noodles are made in a similar manner.