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May 16, 2007
State of the Frank Report
This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested. Well, I've been busy. You may have noticed I've been less engaged on this blog; well, that's because getting a house ready to sell is not easy, and the clock is ticking since the zoo is rebuilding the monkey house. How in the world are we going to sell this house if someone looks out a window and seem damnable monkey eyes staring back at him and plotting death? Then there was the plot by Doctor Doom was just a huge interruption. That was stressful. I don't even want to talk about that; just read whatever they wrote in that rag The Daily Bugle if you're interested. On top of everything, I have this vague feeling that Aquaman is still alive and watching me. Isn't there a French word for that? After trying to come up with new methods to reinforce our new faux wood blinds so they don't fall down every time someone tugs the cord, I heard the cats making those alien chirps and clicks they make when they cornered prey. They had chased a lizard under the dresser, and I decided to rescue so its corpse wouldn't turn up at an inopportune moment. I pushed away the cats who hissed angrily at me for interrupting their murderous plans and reached for the tiny lizard. The lizard opened it's mouth threateningly, but I thought that was just the little thing bluffing. Unbeknownst to me, lizards don't bluff. The lizard clamped down on my index finger with it's strong, toothless jaws. I yelped in surprise and drew my hand away, the lizard now dangling from my hand, still holding on tight. I quickly went outside, placed the lizard on the ground, and then had to pry its jaws open. Needless to say, that's the last time I'll ever try and help another living creature. Back to work. It's much to do, but SarahK tries and keep a brave face, constantly exclaiming, "Yay! Painting is fun!" Then again, the other day she tried to put leashes on the cats. That woman has gone insane, I tell you. I can't wait until we're out of the fetid swamps of Florida and on to the promised land: Texas. 18 Responses To "State of the Frank Report"
We'll be proud to call you a fellow Texan, even though you're not Fred Thompson. Thanks for the great blog and keep us up to date. #1 - Posted by: beloml on May 16, 2007 04:27 PMIf SarahK succeeds in putting leashes on the cats, you can use them as paintbrushes. That'll learn her. #2 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on May 16, 2007 04:31 PMDuring Spring Break, many, many years ago, we used to use those lizards as earings, catch 'em from behind, get 'em to in the defensive position that they open their mouths and then sic 'em on your earlobe... they'll hang there for about 10 mins #3 - Posted by: JFH on May 16, 2007 05:15 PMLet’s hope it wasn’t a radioactive lizard that followed Sarah home from the nuclear plant. It's a plot by Aquaman. #4 - Posted by: Writer on May 16, 2007 05:20 PMoooooooooooooooooh lizards; it isn't your natural cat blogging for sure!
And yeah Texas!! #5 - Posted by: c.a. Marks on May 16, 2007 05:23 PMI told my cat Slammin' Sammy about the leash thing. He said to tell you guys that leashes are way gay and that is why they are built for dogs. He also said that if anyone ever tries to put one on him he's going to scratch off their balls and stuff them up their ass... Just thought I'd let you know what my little friend was thinking... #6 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 16, 2007 06:03 PMYou'll be one of us! YAY! Please move to my district , you guys, so we have one more conservative person to vote against huge tax hikes! Pwease? They just passed a $400mil+ school bond package which they didn't need. :-/ #7 - Posted by: ochagirl on May 16, 2007 09:56 PMAh! At last! You are coming to the greatest country -- errr, state in the world! I'd love to welcome you myself... #8 - Posted by: Luipaard on May 16, 2007 10:00 PMI was wondering if the IMAO T-Shirt babe is SarahK? #9 - Posted by: Bill on May 16, 2007 11:05 PMWriter, you beat me to it. I totally predict it was a radioactive lizard. This could be a good thing: when Frank develops his superpowers, he can join the Justice League and be the tie-breaking vote on the nuke-the-moon issue. #10 - Posted by: Chris on May 16, 2007 11:14 PMHi! I too bailed on Florida and relocated to the great state of Texas - best move I ever made. What part ox TX are you two going to be calling home? I'd be happy to shuttle SarahK around on house hunting expeditions, and set up a play date with my cats until yours are assimilated. #11 - Posted by: Dejavoodoo on May 16, 2007 11:24 PMHi! I too bailed on Florida and relocated to the great state of Texas - best move I ever made. What part of TX are you two going to be calling home? I'd be happy to shuttle SarahK around on house hunting expeditions, and set up a play date with my cats until yours are assimilated. #12 - Posted by: Dejavoodoo on May 16, 2007 11:24 PMGlad that you've seen the light, Frank! I've come to learn that Texas women don't EVER want to stay away from here for very long. And why should they? #13 - Posted by: prolix on May 16, 2007 11:34 PMI'm so jealous. I'd like to return to the promised land to. I've just been banished for 40 years (or so it seems). #14 - Posted by: Andrew C on May 17, 2007 07:00 AMBill, is that a real question? You mean you've never heard the coolest ever "Hey kids, I'm finally going to tell you how I met your father, and no, you're never allowed on the interwebs, ever, until you're 30" story? #15 - Posted by: sarahk on May 17, 2007 08:34 AMOnly queers and steers live in Texas! If you want to live in God's country move up here in Minnesota! We will make you tough! Beautiful summers followed by nature trying to kill your ass with 50 below wind chills in the winter! Doesn't get any better than that! Plus we are dominated by leftist euphorian dickhead political types for entertainment... #16 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 17, 2007 08:34 AMAh... Texas... where the buffalo used to roam, before we ate them all and made those sissy-ass indians cry. #17 - Posted by: Trigger on May 17, 2007 11:35 AMI have now. #18 - Posted by: Bill on May 17, 2007 11:37 PMPost a comment
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