You forgot the biggest spoiler. Fred Thompson saves the school from utter ruination.

These "spoilers" bear very little relation to the actual Harry Potter book series. One of the characters mentioned is from another set works by a completely different author. A political party is mentioned which is not even British, but American.

I am beginning to wonder if this was a serious literary critique, or merely a shameful ploy to attract advertising page views and clicks.

Mr Socrates, if you're questioning my integrity, I shall have to ask you to step outside!

this is going to be the best Harry Potter EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Snape and Hagrid???? EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! Harvey, you should be taken outside and SHOT.

I'm still wondering how the author is going to continue the constant slope of the series' "Stick it to the man" curve. They've already scoffed and trampled the silliness of school rules, laws and authority in general. The only thing left is to have harry create a doomsday spell and blow up the universe. That oughtta show that stuffy old creator and his outmoded existence-ist dogma. Life is for squares.

I hate (HATE) to have to be a tad nerdy here, but it's Voldemort. With an 'o.'

And I totally second Wacky Hermit's suggestion. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

Harvey (if that's your real name), I would never stoop so low as to question your integrity, at least, not out loud.

Clearly, however, this article is intended only for its humor value, and not to instruct your many readers in the subtleties of these great works of literature. It seems to fit the pattern of this site, which is showing early signs of excessive satiricism.

One even sees 'LOL' and 'LMAO@IMAO' in the commentary, hardly the sort of discussion one would like to see. So while I don't question your integrity, really, this site-wide drift into comedic expression may indicate some kind of intentional direction by the site's leadership.

Perhaps it's a reaction to the self-righteous arrogance of this 'Aquaman' fellow?

what happens to Frodo this time?

1) Hermione is a DUDE!

Wha...huh?

I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

1) Hermione is a DUDE!

Wha...huh?

I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

That wasn't a double post...it was a 3D post. Just put on the glasses and turn your head sideways to look at it. It'll look like its jumping off the screen!

"Voldemort with an "o"."

Yeah, but there's a NEW character, except he spells it with an "a" because...

Ah, crap...

You caught me being sloppy.

...

fixed.

I loved #5!

5) It's all a dream. Harry wakes up in his mother's basement to discover that he's just a 35-year-old nerd who nodded off during a game of D&D.

HA!! I knew I should have brought more espresso to the game! Where the hell are my glasses?

how is #1 a releation,,,Rons in for an unpleasent suprise...

Wow you people need a life....... Just kidding. I almost died laughing, I LOVED #5! Way to go man, nothing like a good laugh!