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May 23, 2007
He Loves His Pirate Booty
Posted by Frank J. at 03:42 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (18)

John Edwards has claim to part of a $500 million sunken pirate treasure. Thus comes the obvious question: What's John Edwards' pirate name?

Silky Beard the Pirate?
Captain Fabulous?
Long John Edwards?

It's too bad I don't think he has much of a chance in the primary. With the Pink Sapphire beauty treatments and his managing hedge funds to learn about poverty, the guy is pure comedy gold.

Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)

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18 Responses To "He Loves His Pirate Booty"

Captain Jack Sparrow?
Nah, Jack's too masculine for that.

#1 - Posted by: Veeshir on May 23, 2007 04:00 PM

Captian Breck maybe?

Or - Short Plank John.

Fussypants the Pirate?

#2 - Posted by: Richmond on May 23, 2007 04:04 PM

"Don't tell me about Naval Tradition...it's all rum, sodomy and the lash" Winston Churchill Now it makes sense...

#3 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 23, 2007 04:56 PM

Sweet Cheeks
The LITIGATOR
Mincing Pony
Silky Swish
Cap’n Blue Nose and his Two Americas

#4 - Posted by: Writer on May 23, 2007 05:08 PM

Captain mushmouth

#5 - Posted by: Fiftycal on May 23, 2007 06:58 PM

Capt. Butt Pirate
Capt. John Swallow

#6 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on May 23, 2007 08:02 PM

Capt. Butt Pirate
Capt. John Swallow

#7 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on May 23, 2007 08:03 PM

The dread pirate Edwards, you'll come to dread him being in your presence because of the overwhelming need to punch him in the nose over and over.

#8 - Posted by: Laura on May 23, 2007 08:23 PM

Tried to think of a better one than Captain Fabulous - couldn't

. . .

So, for possible movie names:

Captain Fabulous: Curse of the Pink Sapphire

#9 - Posted by: on May 23, 2007 09:49 PM

The Dread Pirate Swish

#10 - Posted by: Edward Teach on May 23, 2007 09:57 PM

Who shall we sue? An obstetrician!
Who shall we sue? An obstetrician!
Who shall we sue? An obstetrician!
Ear-lye in the morning!

Shaved her belly with a rusty razor
Shaved her belly with a rusty razor
Shaved her belly with a rusty razor
Ear-lye in the morning!

Ballad of The Crimson Litigator

#11 - Posted by: bunkerboy on May 24, 2007 01:42 AM

It's Poopdeck Pony-boy, me swabbies. Land Ho!

#12 - Posted by: everydayjoe on May 24, 2007 04:32 AM

bunkerboy...lol!

#13 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 24, 2007 04:37 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mclbc8nSww4

This just seemed like a good thread to drop this into....

#14 - Posted by: TBinSTL on May 24, 2007 05:22 AM

Capt. Clueless
Mr. Wheeee
Big Fat Baby Killing O'Edwards
Pink tutu John (which is my personal fave)

#15 - Posted by: seanmahair on May 24, 2007 08:29 AM

Personally I liked Captain Fabulous the best. Hard to beat that. His full name can be "Breck Swish Fabulous", but we'll just go with Captain Fabulous.

#16 - Posted by: Abigail on May 24, 2007 11:09 AM

Breck Booty

#17 - Posted by: Writer on May 24, 2007 12:08 PM

It's BOOTAAAAAAY!

#18 - Posted by: BigEZ on May 24, 2007 02:30 PM
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