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May 31, 2007
A Frank Amnesty Plan
Posted by Frank J. at 11:24 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (10)

Much of what makes Americans so mad about the amnesty proposals is the idea that people can come here, crap all over our laws, and get no punishment for it. Can we be taken seriously as a country with such an attitude? How long would it be until Canada starts stealing our silverware on its visits here? If people disobey us, the greatest nation on earth, there must always be consequences.

Always.

On the other hand, most illegal immigrants just came here for a better life. They had the horrible misfortune of being born in the dirt-poor and corrupt Mexico and wanted to come to America -- like any rational person. If someone truly wants to become an American, I would like to give him or her the opportunity. When immigration works best is when people have to work hard to be Americans and thus appreciate American values even more than those of us who were given our place here simply through birth. So, I'm quite happy with the illegal immigrants who came here from Mexico eventually becoming citizens... but as punishment for their law-breaking, they'll have to do a bit more than those who took the legal path.

Now, some have put the punishment as fines and paying back-taxes, but that serves no point. The Mexicans came here because they're poor, so any fine is going to be a high hurdle. Also, what good do those fines do us? The money is just going to go to more wasteful spending on turnip subsides and health care for old people (they're of no more use to us; why keep them alive?). If the Mexicans here illegally want to become citizens, let's have them do something useful for all Americans while simultaneous proving their zeal for American ideals. Let's have them...

DESTROY MEXICO!

We already have tons of Mexicans in America, so there's really no reason to keep Mexico around. In fact, one could easily argue that Mexico is detrimental to the U.S.A.... or at least that it brings down the property values for the North American continent. So let's task the illegal Mexicans with destroying Mexico. I, like many Americans, will even donate guns to the effort as it would solve a number of problems:

1. Allows Mexicans to sever ties with their former country and show loyalty to the U.S.
2. Act as the payment for breaking U.S. laws in becoming illegal immigrants
3. End all future illegal immigration from Mexico

If the Mexicans we have here will go and slaughter their former country men, raze the villages of their former countries, I would punch anyone in the face who would doubt their loyalty to America. Once Mexico is thoroughly destroyed and turned to nothing but rubble and corpses, all the survivors of the assault should be welcomed back with open arms. We will say to them, "Yes, Pedro, you have done what we Americans would not do ourselves: Destroy the annoyance that was Mexico. Through your blood and sweat, you have proven your right to the title of American. Now finish cutting my lawn."

Now that's compassionate conservatism!

Rating: 1.9/5 (15 votes cast)

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