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June 01, 2007
The Future of Cindy Sheehan
Posted by Harvey at 08:30 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (21)

Recently, gold-star mother and moonbat extraordinaire Cindy Sheehan announced at Daily Kos that she was "resigning as the face of American anti-war movement" in order to spend more time with her remaining children, for whom I feel great pity.

But I imagine that knocking on the doors of relatives who refuse to answer will only take up part of her time. What else will Cindy Sheehan be doing now that her activist days are over? I have my guesses:



* Sell "I bit the hand that fed me... Democrats really DO taste like chicken" T-shirts.

* Tour the country promoting her "Vanilla Ice Cream Hunger Strike Diet".

* Get implants, marry an oil billionaire, inherit a fortune, have a baby of uncertain paternity, and die under suspicious circumstances.

No longer the poster child for the anti-war left.

 * Search for a way to further disgrace Casey's memory that doesn't include suicide-bombing a shopping mall while yelling "Allah Akbar!".

* Give up attention whoring for crack whoring, replace Cartman's mom on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine, and enjoy the best of both worlds.

* Thwart thought-controlling, corporate, fascist, war-machine by replacing tinfoil hat with light-weight, space-age graphite/titanium composite model.

* Make Home Depot a ton of money from sales of new door locks to her kids.

* Move to France, get a job in a white flag factory, and learn how to say "primates capitulards et toujours en quete de fromages".

* Star in new Michael Moore documentary, "Wacko".

* Buy black shirt, sweat pants, and Nikes; await Comet Hale-Bopp's return.

* Accept Apple's offer to play "Loony Linux Lady" in their Mac vs. PC commercials.

* Photoshop Hitler moustache onto picture of chimpanzee. Label it Bush. Giggle. Repeat.

* FINALLY have a morning free to just sit around waiting for the cable guy.

* Start ordering her martinis shaken instead of stirred.

* Marry a fat, philandering Arkansas politician and bide her time until she can take her shot at the White House.

* Save a fortune on dry-cleaning expenses, since she doesn't have to lie on Casey's grave for the cameras any more.

* Contact Robin Williams about her idea for a new sitcom, "Mork & Cindy".

* Franchise-destroying appearance in latest "Girls Gone Wild" video.

* Write definitive Moonbat-English dictionary, if she can remember how to speak English.



Personally, I don't care what she does. I just want her to fade so far from memory that eventually - when people hear the name Sheehan - they'll only think of how Casey won his Bronze Star for Valor.

Rating: 1.3/5 (5 votes cast)

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21 Responses To "The Future of Cindy Sheehan"

Ted Kennedy has Bush hooked on the bottle again sadly since that's the only way to explain this fiasco. PETITION BUSH TO STOP DRINKING NOW!

#1 - Posted by: acroso on June 1, 2007 08:40 AM

Well, one of the problems with the GOP is that there are too many Xenophobes, Racists, Chauvenists, Nationalists, Anti-semites, and Bigots as Bushie would say.

#2 - Posted by: acroso on June 1, 2007 08:45 AM

I thought she said she was posing as a centerfold for Daily Kos.

#3 - Posted by: Writer on June 1, 2007 08:50 AM

Okay, originally I came to comment that this was another hilarious article by Harvey, holding up his end while Frank's busy with moving, but I gotta ask what the F-k does "acroso"'s post have to do with the freaking article??? Don't you know how to stay on topic monkeyboy or are you to distracted by your latest re-run of Will&Grace to type coherently???? Dumbass.

Great Article Harv, I look forward to picks of Sheehan with a cardboard sign on some obscure intersection that says "will Protest for food"

#4 - Posted by: shimauma on June 1, 2007 08:54 AM

So she's quitting. Nice legacy to leave for Casey. If you are going to fight for something you believe in, at least finish the fight.

Obviously she wasn't getting enough air-time lately and decided to bag the whole thing. I can't blame her for turning tail on this. Who does she have to look up to? The Dems lost their stomach for war years ago. I'm surprised she stuck it out as long as she did, actually.

I'm sure those of us who fought and are still fighting would have liked to quit and go home to our families, too. But we couldn't and we didn't.

(except for the "conscientious objectors" who are a bunch of cowards with s**t-stained panties).

We didn't quit because we believe in something bigger than ourselves and our immediate needs.

Goodbye, Cindy. May your son finally rest in peace.

#5 - Posted by: t on June 1, 2007 09:40 AM

She's going to be Rosie's body double in the remake of "Basic Instinct" because O'Donut's thighs are too thick to do the leg uncrossing scene.

#6 - Posted by: FormerHostage on June 1, 2007 10:02 AM

You are all horribly wrong about Cindy. She is a great force for good in this world. It isn't her fault if the RightWingNut BushCoHaliburton Smear Machine (tm) succeeded in smearing her good name.

I believe that she's going to continue with the good fight but more in the background. Perhaps with a bloog thingy or just spreading the word as an "anonymous" commenter so that people will hear the message and not be distracted by the messenger.

#7 - Posted by: Sindy Cheehan on June 1, 2007 10:13 AM

Hot blond MILF. Just out of a relationship. Seeking generou$ deaf latino proto-dictator for sex buddy. Tantra experience a plus.

#8 - Posted by: Sindy Cheehan on June 1, 2007 10:20 AM

Ooops. Sorry...I cross posted that last one to the wrong message board.

#9 - Posted by: Sindy Cheehan on June 1, 2007 10:22 AM

She's not quiting! How can you quit a job no one gave you? You really mean that she might stop running around the globe "yanking-the-crank" of various America-loathing creeps. I folks would stop paying attention to, and start mocking these bozos (The Sheehan-esque Shrills), they might go away.
It's a shame she dishonors her own son. Oh well, as an American Hero he has enough in the Karma-Bank to cover for his silly Mom. She probably just got a statement for above mentioned bank, and saw she was "concientiously-objecting" to squat, and spending her kids Karma like a drunk sailor!

#10 - Posted by: on June 1, 2007 10:54 AM

Advertising “Spokes-Model” for DITCH WITCH.

#11 - Posted by: Writer on June 1, 2007 12:33 PM

Ok Harvey, I call "Sheehanigans!"

You and I and the whole world knows that someone with this big of a mouth is not going to fade away quietly.

I predict that she'll be terrorizing PTAs and ice cream shops in the near future, and for a very long time to come to pass...

#12 - Posted by: everydayjoe on June 1, 2007 01:05 PM

I gotta agree with joe. I bet she'll come out of "retirement" & start doing the talk show circuit as soon as she gets settled in & convinces her children -and maybe some other relatives...maybe- to allow her to attend a holiday get together now & then.

Lets face it, she & her ilk are like a scorching case of herpes; just when you think it's over, BAM! There they are again.

#13 - Posted by: AlanABQ on June 1, 2007 02:14 PM

I just had a scary thought, what if The View replaces Rosie w/Cindy? I for one, would pay good money to watch Elizabeth tear her a new a$$hole. Or would that be redundant??

#14 - Posted by: on June 1, 2007 06:16 PM

"Franchise-destroying appearance in latest "Girls Gone Wild" video."

Oh, God, my eyes!! AHHH!!! Oh why?!?!? Why would anyone do that to us?!?!

"I thought she said she was posing as a centerfold for Daily Kos."

They really are sick there!!!

She's going to be Rosie's body double in the remake of "Basic Instinct" because O'Donut's thighs are too thick to do the leg uncrossing scene.

I actually shuddered while reading that.

#15 - Posted by: ChrisA on June 1, 2007 07:13 PM

Funny as always, Harvey, but as it seems a link to Black Five leads me to tears every time, I'm not laughing, but somber and proud as hell of our troops.

#16 - Posted by: DohXs on June 1, 2007 07:39 PM

Yeah, I know I broke the "leave 'em laughing" rule, but I thought it was only right to make mention of the grave Cindy pissed on to get her weepy, bloodhound-looking face in front of the cameras in the first place.

#17 - Posted by: Harvey on June 1, 2007 11:32 PM

She's declared anti-war protesting a quagmire and is redeploying herself to protest something else.

#18 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on June 2, 2007 01:17 AM

Her whole jihad was underwritten by George Soros, who now realizes the best way to ensure America's defeat is to get more Democrats elected.

Sorry, Cindy - they've decided to MoveOn without you.

#19 - Posted by: bunkerboy on June 2, 2007 01:28 AM

Loony Linux Lady. Heh.

Is that a picture of Cher?

#20 - Posted by: lizardbrain on June 2, 2007 05:57 PM

She can always become a Scientologist.

#21 - Posted by: Wes on June 4, 2007 01:31 PM
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