Tony Snow sighed and entered the Oval Office. "You know, conservatives are actually kinda scary when you're on their firing end. I hate asking again, but I don't quite understand why you're so averse to securing the border and why you want to grant amnesty to illegals so bad."

President Bush motioned to Tony to close the door and come closer. He then whispered, "I never told anyone this, but I'm secretly an illegal Mexican."

"Um... I don't think so, Mr. President; I know your parents."

Bush shook his head. "They told me they found me as a baby in a well in Mexico."

"You sure they weren't joking?"

Bush leaned back in his chair. "I'm never sure of anything, and that's never stopped me from acting. We need to get this bill passed so I won't get deported. Now go out tell the Republicans who are against this bill that they just hate brown people. Have Linda Chavez go out and do that too... and tell her to lay her accent on thick."

"She doesn't have an accent."

Bush pounded his desk. "Then tell her to get one!"

"Sir, I don't really understand how insulting Republicans is going to help things."

"Well, which one of us is the President and which one of us is the... uh... whatever you do?"

"White House Press Secretary?"

"Yeah, that."

Bush kept staring at Tony, and eventually Tony realized that he was expected to answer the rhetorical question. "Um... I'm the guy who does whatever I do."

Bush jabbed himself with his thumb. "And I'm the President!"

Tony was about to leave, but he stopped. "So this is really about you thinking you're Mexican? I thought this was all some Karl Rove scheme to try and pander for Hispanic votes."

"No. Karl Rove doesn't actually exist; he's just a fiction we put out there."

"What?! Why would you make up Karl Rove?"

"Well, the thought of him scares and distracts my political opponents." Bush was silent a moment thinking. "The complete reasoning is pretty complicated; only Karl Rove is smart enough to understand it all. Anyway, if you see a Republican that's against amnesty, punch him and tell him he's stupid. That will get those stupid Mexican-haters on our side."

Tony sighed. "The Republican Party was fun while it lasted."

Bush chuckled. "It was a wild ride." Bush then stared intently at an empty space on the wall. "No! You can't have my bologna sandwich, Rove! And you stop putting evil thoughts in my brain!"

Tony hurried out of the office and spotted Karl Rove in the hall. "Do you know the President thinks he's seeing you?"

Karl Rove smiled. "And who do you think you're seeing? Muh ha ha ha ha!" He then disappeared into shadow.

"I really should have stayed at FOX News."

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In My World
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