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June 23, 2007
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
Posted by Frank J. at 08:00 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (19)

When Fred Thompson is elected President, he'll be the tallest American President ever, beating Abraham Lincoln by an inch and Jimmy Carter with his fist.

Rating: 1.8/5 (2 votes cast)

Fred Thompson Facts
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19 Responses To "Daily Fred Thompson Fact"

Fred Thompson is so bad ass that when he's president, and he gives Jack Bauer an order, Jack actually listens to him.

Not that it matters. Fred Thompson killed the terrorists. By himself. With a ping-pong paddle.

#1 - Posted by: Ringmaster on June 23, 2007 08:35 AM

I came all the way over here this morning for humor and you give me this crap?
Go back, and do it again. Get it right this time.

#2 - Posted by: Dick on June 23, 2007 08:49 AM

If Fred will promise to beat the snot out of Jimma' I will vote for him as Imperial High Emperor of the Universe and anything else he runs for.

That's the best campaign promise ever!

#3 - Posted by: seanmahair on June 23, 2007 09:50 AM

Tell Dick that Fred Thompson just called to let him know that Rosie called. Dick's boyfriend just got a sex change operation so that she (formerly he) could have a lesbian affair with her...

#4 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on June 23, 2007 11:35 AM

Fred Thompson already opened a can of whup-ass on Zombie FDR during that radiation wave that raised all those dead people. Fred referred to that peculiar time as recess.

#5 - Posted by: Gabe on June 23, 2007 12:20 PM

I just found out that I live in the same city that will serve as Fred Thompson's campaign headquarters. http://www.wsmv.com/politics/13555058/detail.html?rss=nash&psp=news

I pray that his greatness and close proximity will not destroy me. :o)

#6 - Posted by: G Fresh on June 23, 2007 01:25 PM

Jimmyboy,
Wow! You're a freaking genius!
Ya know, if you've read this site for any length of time at all, and can't understand the blatantly obvious concept of sarcasm, you seriously need to run down to Walmart right now.
They have clues on sale, and I'm sure a dim bulb such as yourself will find at least one to be a perfect fit.
Now, you wanna be civilized and pour yourself a desperately needed hot cup of stfu, or would you prefer I show Frank's readers just exactly how lame you really are? Take your pick sweetie.

#7 - Posted by: Dick on June 23, 2007 03:01 PM

Wow. Someone with less understanding of sarcasm than sarcasm man.

#8 - Posted by: DohXs on June 23, 2007 05:48 PM

That would be Dick, by the way.

#9 - Posted by: DohXs on June 23, 2007 05:51 PM

That would be Dick, by the way.

#10 - Posted by: DohXs on June 23, 2007 05:52 PM

Doh-ouchebag,
I was going to bitchslap you for fun, but from the looks of your internet skills, I'd be called out for picking on retards.

#11 - Posted by: Dick on June 23, 2007 06:07 PM

Mirrors hate Dick. When Dick looks in a mirror all he sees is a big ass.

#12 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on June 23, 2007 06:58 PM

Is this a bad time to ressurect the calling-John-Edwards-a-fag-once-every-post tradition?

#13 - Posted by: Ringmaster on June 23, 2007 08:02 PM

Sarcasm bitch,
I was wondering when you'd raise your rat bastard of a head, without the benefit of a spine.
I'm making you my personal netbitch.
Come here Sweetie.

#14 - Posted by: on June 23, 2007 08:57 PM

If I didn't know better I'd swear you guys are hormonal. If I could I would use my husbands tried and true fix for the problem, buy a large bag of chocolate, throw it in the door, wait for the feeding frenzy and run to his room, (He discovered this after living for decades with 5 hormonal women) I would. But I don't think it will work. Heavy sigh

#15 - Posted by: seanmahair on June 24, 2007 12:20 AM

"He discovered this after living for decades with 5 hormonal women"

I don't EVER want to know what that's like... EVER! One is enough.

#16 - Posted by: ChrisA on June 24, 2007 10:12 AM

Would you vote for Fred Thompson, who likely drives a restored 49 Ford and an old blue Studebaker, or Hillary, who now drives a steamroller, with factory installed gun turrets? Hmmmm?

#17 - Posted by: CON-servative on June 24, 2007 10:58 AM

Flattening Jimmy Carter should be a career, not a hobby.

#18 - Posted by: Writer on June 25, 2007 08:25 AM

QUOTE:Fred Thompson killed the terrorists. By himself. With a ping-pong paddle.

What you forgot to mention was that making himself use the ping-pong paddle was a handicap, to keep things interesting.

#19 - Posted by: BigJohn on June 25, 2007 03:29 PM
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