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June 26, 2007
Michael Moore Demands Government Funded Cheeseburgers
Moore plans on making a new film showing numerous horror stories from people denied access to cheeseburgers. He hopes the movie will move people to demand universal cheeseburger coverage from their government. "CHEESEBURGERS!!!" Moore stated while violently shaking a reporter. Though filming hasn't even begun, the new project has already garnered criticism. Conservative pundit and noted cheeseburger connoisseur Jonah Goldberg has attacked the idea of the government paying for cheeseburgers, saying, "There's no such thing as a free cheeseburger. Universal cheeseburger coverage will require a huge increase in taxes. Also, with so many people demanding their 'free' cheeseburgers, the government will be forced to ration them and put people on cheeseburger waiting lists. Personally, I'd gladly pay for a cheeseburger today rather than wait for a free one on Tuesday." Moore's supporters are claiming that the Bush Administration is trying to shut down this movie, pointing to an altercation Moore recently had with police. Yesterday, the police were called on Michael Moore after he ran up to a drive-thru window and shouted, "CHEESEBURGERS!!!" frightening the Taco Bell employees inside. Moore then violently tried to claw his way through the tiny window until officers shot him with an elephant tranquilizer gun. "CHEESE... burg... ers...," was his reported final statement before collapsing to the ground and being dragged away by a backhoe. 16 Responses To "Michael Moore Demands Government Funded Cheeseburgers"
Didn't I see this story in the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday? It was part of the LGBT pride parade coverage, I think. #1 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on June 26, 2007 11:21 AMSo how delicious are the French, English, Canadian and Cuban Cheeseburgers? #2 - Posted by: Ospurt on June 26, 2007 11:22 AMI'll volunteer to eat the cheeseburgers illegal aliens won't eat. #3 - Posted by: Veeshir on June 26, 2007 11:40 AMA backhoe?!!! No way! The thing that transports the shuttle to the pad would ahe a hard time moving the density taht is Moore. #4 - Posted by: captamerica on June 26, 2007 11:45 AMI think the giant transporter that moves the shuttle from the VAB building to the pad would be challenged by the density known only as the "Moore". #5 - Posted by: captamerica on June 26, 2007 11:47 AMI can speak for the English cheeseburgers... bloody awful! But they do often come with a free dose of Mad Cow disease #6 - Posted by: Rick on June 26, 2007 12:23 PMI wonder if Michael Mooron ever figured out that Taco Bell doesn't offer cheeseburgers on their menu. #7 - Posted by: Writer on June 26, 2007 01:04 PM"... Personally, I'd gladly pay for a cheeseburger today rather than wait for a free one on Tuesday." Heh. This line had me rolling and choking on my beverage. When news of the universal Cheeseburger Plan was revealed, many cats responded merely by making the interrogative, "I can haz cheezburger?" [No way we're also paying for cheeseburgers for cats. -Ed.] #8 - Posted by: DesertElephant on June 26, 2007 02:13 PMMoore is just a regular guy who wants to make things better for everyone. I am almost positive he uses every last dime of the profits from his movies for health care for the disadvantaged. He can't even afford a new hat or decent clothing. Poor guy. Does anyone really believe the image this guy is trying to pull off? #9 - Posted by: Dodsfall on June 26, 2007 04:28 PMAccording to Rosie O'Donnell, fire can't cook cheeseburgers. In fact, never in history has fire ever melted cheese. #10 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on June 26, 2007 04:55 PMImagine the quality of Government cheeseburgers. I heart cheeseburgers... especially with bacon. I don't want to have to fill out special forms to get bacon on it. Especially considering the Muslim outrage at the offering of bacon for these cheeseburgers. I'm glad you didn't include the part about him 'beer bonging' contents from the grease dumpster. #11 - Posted by: ChrisA on June 26, 2007 05:03 PMChrisA, There are levels that even IMAO won't stoop to. Heh. #12 - Posted by: DesertElephant on June 26, 2007 05:37 PMGood job Frank. Somewhere, John Belushi is snickering in his grave. #13 - Posted by: on June 26, 2007 05:50 PMKitty dun haz cheezburgur... cuz jyint soshulist weezil eated it. ;_; #14 - Posted by: ZK on June 26, 2007 06:49 PMZK, UR commintz makez mai dei. #15 - Posted by: DesertElephant on June 26, 2007 11:11 PMThe enamoured and biased media have blindly fallen under Moores spell. They openly participate and contribute to his agenda for self-promotion and miss the bigger story. http://michaelwestfall.tripod.com/id17.html Post a comment
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