IMAO has long advocated nuking the moon, but what do you really know about the moon? I had my crack research team find all they can about our natural satellite, and I bet after reading this you'll want the moon nuked right away.

FUN FACTS ABOUT THE MOON

* How the moon was created is still a matter of scientific debate, but most agree it was Satan.

* Documents show that the moon plagued early man, often stealing their children.

* Why can't you see the moon during the day? It hides then because, like Batman, it figures it's much more threatening in appearance at night.

* Scientists say that to hold a higher position is to show dominance. So why does the moon float up there in the sky? Because it thinks it's better than us.

* If confronted by the moon in a dark alley, blow your rape whistle.

* The moon is so evil that radical Islamists can only stand to use a sliver of it as their symbol.

* Astronomers note that the moon is the number one source of light pollution world wide.

* It has been shown that the moon is immune to bullets, poison, and being stabbed with a flag pole. The only thing that could possibly harm it is a nuclear strike.

* It's said the full moon can cause people to go crazy. That means the moon has been conducting psychological warfare against us for ages.

* Jupiter has over sixty moons and is completely uninhabitable by human life.

* About once a month, the moon completely hides shadows. This is when it plots against us.

* Despite its evil, America was forced to put men on the moon and claim it as their own to keep it from falling into the hands of Commie evil.

* If America ever tries to use the moon for its own purposes, it will be consumed by the moon's evil. That's why they must destroy the moon where it was created: Mount Doom.

* There's a piece of moon rock displayed to the public at Kennedy Space Center. When you touch it, you can feel your soul whither.

* The moon, like the puma, has no concern for human life.

* Since the moon controls the tides, it's responsible for the creation of such evils as tidal waves and surfer dudes.

* The moon always keeps the same side facing the earth. What is it hiding on the other side? Most scientist agree it's acres and acres of pot.

* In the 1950's, America considered nuking the moon to prove our dominance over all of God's domain, but the whiny, weak Democrats stopped from fear of angering the moon. It already hates us and wants to kill us, idiots!

* The moon can be useful as its gravity can slingshot a craft towards Mars. Airplanes use a similar effect to speed up cross-country flights by using the gravity of Michael Moore.

* We left some moon buggies parked on the moon. I'll bet you the hubcaps are missing.

* In a fight between Aquaman and the moon, the moon would mess up the tides until they threw Aquaman into some power lines.

* Scientists mention numerous possible benefits from nuking the moon such as world peace, learning the cure for cancer, and gaining really awesome video of a mushroom cloud.

* Venus has no moon and has never been under the threat of Communism.

* If you are ever attacked by the moon, don't panic. Death is certain, so you might as well meet it like a man.

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Know Thy Enemy
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