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July 13, 2007
The Roundup: Friday, July 13th.
Posted by RightWingDuck at 06:32 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

Remember, even though it's Friday the 13th, you don't have to be unlucky!

If you're lucky you might even win prizes!


What’s your prize? Well, if you’re like this kid, you might get a Viagra Bear. Really! This kid is playing the Claw Machine and a Red Robin’s Restaurant and out comes a teddy bear with a little Viagra T-shirt.

They didn’t realize it was a Viagra bear, at first they thought it had a gun in its pocket.

Anyway, the parents complained and now the chain has pull removed the bears from their claw machines.


Satisfied with this action, the parents were able to exchange this prize for a better stuffie - – the Valtrex Hamster.


**

David Beckham arrived in Los Angeles and is ready to play for the Galaxy.

Galaxy: That’s a soccer team.

Soccer: That’s a grown-up sport, or so I’m told at all my kid’s soccer games.

Anyway, it’s amazing. Crowds follow them everywhere they go. Crowds at dinner, while shopping, crowds while walking down the street. They are being smothered. It’s unbelievable.

David is overwhelmed; he can’t wait to get to the one place in America without crowds: Soccer Stadiums.

Some are hoping that he can save soccer and make it as big here as it is overseas. Personally, I have nothing against soccer but see it more as a kid sport.

I think if he can make it work, we should expand this to other ideas:

How about Adult T-Ball?

Locals aren’t used to all this soccer talk.

All around Hollywood, people are asking the ever important question: What exactly is the credit limit on that red card?

At a welcome rally, the Mayor introduced Beckham. David got cheers, the mayor got booed.

The Mayor booed? As you know, Mayor Villaraigosa was in a relationship with another woman, a TV reporter, while married.

You have sex with another woman while married people suspect you of being the ultimate evil: Republican.

(Republicans are always caught in sex scandals and they pay for it)

Mayor really wants to tell his side of the story. He’s hoping some other reporter will pump him for information.

**

Michelle Malkin has a great bit on a new offering. There's a chain of stores in Dallas called Value Giant. They accept Visa, Mastercard, and the Mexican Peso!

Value Giant will have three checkout lanes: Regular, 10 Items or Less, and Someone Trying To Figure Out How To Make Change.


People are screaming that his country is turning into little Mexico or New Mexico or something.

Relax, it’s just Value Giants’ way of reaching out to different communities.

This isn’t the only foreign currency they accept.

Of example, if you’re a recently released prisoner, you may also pay for your purchase with cigarettes.


I don’t know what the big deal is: I mean, tourist towns always accept foreign currency. Except that tourists at some point – you know – leave.

**

In the world of Commentary, WND has a great article from Tom Tancredo.
Remember when he said that Miami was becoming like a third world country?
He says he would still say it again.

I like a man who stand by his beliefs.

I disagree with Mr. Tancredo. Miami has some of the nicest people, who live in some of the finest homes, many made out of the finest cardboard.


Say what you want about Miami, at least their purchases are paid for in hard American dollars. Or drugs, depending on which side of the transaction you’re on.

**

Here’s a cool story about a lady who runs a water bar. That’s right, she sells gourmet water. Try this one - how about paying $55 for a bottle of water?


I remember when people would laugh and say that that Evian was Naïve spelled backwards. Now people are paying $55 a pop!

The cool thing is that you could be sitting in the store and here that funny famous line: Would you like to smell the bottle cap?


On the plus sides, they have flavors from all over the world.

Try the newest flavor -ffopir


I hope it’s an honest business, I would hate to think they’re taking their water and alcoholing it up.


If you have $100 you can try their top of the line gourmet brand: Yzarc nikcuf ur


I wonder – could I pay in pesos?

**

Did you enjoy today’s roundup? IMAO is like a big soft cuddly Viagra Bear.

Yes,

We’re always happy to see you.

Rating: 1.8/5 (2 votes cast)

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13 Responses To "The Roundup: Friday, July 13th."

I think that bear story is a lie RWD. We all know it's IMPOSSIBLE to get anything out of those infernal claw machines.

#1 - Posted by: Challenger Grim on July 13, 2007 06:51 PM

I don't know what the big deal is... I travel to Tijuana all the time. The local TJ BurgerKing and Quiznos accepted both Pesos and dollars. If we do that ALL over the US, I can use my left of pesos and centavos!

#2 - Posted by: KeithP on July 13, 2007 07:41 PM

Gorram it Ducky, how I've missed you; that's the best Duck-funny I've had in a while.

#3 - Posted by: HKPistole on July 13, 2007 07:42 PM

You trying to sneak swearing into IMAO? I'm onto you, Ducky!

#4 - Posted by: Frank J. on July 13, 2007 08:25 PM

Don't hurt The Duck. He's our friend.

#5 - Posted by: HKPistole on July 13, 2007 08:37 PM

I wonder if they would take Zimbabwean dollars?

#6 - Posted by: Fiftycal on July 13, 2007 08:42 PM

Satisfied with this action, the parents were able to exchange this prize for a better stuffie - – the Valtrex Hamster.

ROFLMAO!! I favor the Lipator Gator stuffie myself. And for an upset tummy I cuddle with my Zanex Kitty.

This was absolutely hysterical Ducky, no one pwn the elitest water drinking tards at the level you just hit. Better'n MadTV even. Well done!

#7 - Posted by: shimauma on July 13, 2007 09:33 PM

Yeah... Ducky's DEFINITELY got his groove back :-)

#8 - Posted by: Harvey on July 14, 2007 01:15 AM

Hahaha...that is awesome...I love the posts, ducky.

#9 - Posted by: New fan on July 14, 2007 02:03 AM

That was os nmad ynnuf!! Good laughs there.

#10 - Posted by: jonag on July 14, 2007 02:59 AM

'bling H2O'? Does it get served in a glass loaded with rhinestones? Does the waitress who serves it have a gold tooth and a big gold medallion that has the word 'thirst' in a circle with a slash over it?

#11 - Posted by: ChrisA on July 14, 2007 09:26 AM

As a new IMAO reader, I have nothing to compare this insightful wit to, but it's good! And from wherever you were, welcome back!

Say - is Dark Wing your cousin or something?? I love him! Can I get his autograph or a t-shirt or something?! If not, I can just cuddle up with my zoloft zebra and go back to rocking in the corner.....

#12 - Posted by: on July 15, 2007 09:48 AM

Penn and Teller already handled the fancy water BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfPAjUvvnIc

#13 - Posted by: TBinSTL on July 15, 2007 11:29 PM
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