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July 16, 2007
There's Nothing as Dangerous as a Man with Nothing to Lose
There's some indication that President Bush may be gearing up to attack Iran since he doesn't think any of his successors will handle it. It could just be a wild rumor, but I think it's a cool idea. It's time President Bush focuses on the one thing he has going for him: His approval ratings are so low he can essentially ignore the public's opinion. That's true freedom, and he might as well run with it. FRANK IDEAS FOR PRESIDENT BUSH NOW THAT HE NO LONGER HAS TO WORRY ABOUT PUBLIC OPINION * Next time Congress doesn't pass a bill he wants, burn down the Capitol. * Doesn't like a country's attitude? Beat up their ambassador and ship him back to his country in a nailed shut wooden crate. * Plan and execute an elaborate casino heist. * Scalp John Edwards. * Like Disney World, every day at the White House ends with fireworks. * Announce that, after careful consideration, you've ordered air strikes on Latveria. Sit back and watch the confusion. * By executive order, all restaurants, convenience stores, and school cafeterias must serve nachos. * Move Department of Defense resources to building a real-life transformer. Demand it makes "that sound" when it transforms. * Randomly announce a day to be the holiday "Bush Day." Demand that for the day all TV stations must play Red Dawn in a continuous loop. * Invite journalists to check out the conditions at Gitmo and then lock them inside as prisoners. * Give the national anthem a techno beat. * Start a new war. When the press demands comments, have Tony Snow tell them that you're "too busy eating pie." 9 Responses To "There's Nothing as Dangerous as a Man with Nothing to Lose"
What you're describing is a President Bush with a 68% approval rating. #1 - Posted by: a4g on July 16, 2007 11:50 AMLatveria, isn't that where Dr. Doom lives? On another note, I can't tell if the following is a serious column or lame satire. Help! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19762038/site/newsweek/ #2 - Posted by: SB on July 16, 2007 12:19 PMHold a press conference then point to Helen Thomas but instead of asking a question, because no one watching it on TV will know any different, wave his hand in front of his face while he grimaces and ask...'Jeeeeze Helen! Was that you? Man, check for bones!' #3 - Posted by: FormerHostage on July 16, 2007 12:21 PM* Solve global warming by bombing the middle east into a new Ice Age. * Legalize illicit narcotics... so we can see Ron Paul use them and understand where he gets it all from. * Announce new energy initiative, by using baby seal blood as an alternative lube to 10W30. * Send a television message to Pakistan ala O Bin Laden, saying only "All your base are belong to us." * Spend the 39 cents to get Jim Webb a pacifier. * Contract Northrop-Grumman to create the immigrant catapult sketched by Frank. #4 - Posted by: Ringmaster on July 16, 2007 12:27 PMFind the fattest intern and start having oral sex with her in the oval office. No wait, that would just be incredibly stupid. #5 - Posted by: Son of Bob on July 16, 2007 02:23 PMI've been saying this for months. Unfortunately, the one the Pres opted for wasn't on your list: "Flying in the face of your base, bipartisan public opinion, and reason itself, support massive amnesty for millions of illegal aliens, but tell everybody it's not amnesty. Then impinge their patriotism when they call you on it."
Invite Congress to a picnic, then have them dumped in Okeefenokee Swamp for the festivities. #7 - Posted by: Writer on July 16, 2007 04:00 PMJournalists at Gitmo=Genius!!! Give away cigars to Congress laced with arsenic. Walk into Congress on a busy day and sprinkle Holy Water on San Fran Nan to watch her melt over CSPAN. #9 - Posted by: Writer on July 17, 2007 09:07 AMPost a comment
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