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July 24, 2007
On the Bright Side - No Cubicles
Why have dozens of Iraqis stopped working in low-level positions for Al Qaeda? Is it because they don't want their faces cut off with piano wire, or is there something more? After diligent research, I've discovered there are actually a variety of reasons: * No falafel-flavored donuts in employee break room. * Tired of asking customers, "you want IED's with that?". * Insanely high co-pay for doctor visits involving bullet removal. * Annoying woman at corner desk constantly ululating to herself. * Sick of being reminded about the damn TPS report cover sheets. * When hired, they were lied to about the 401(k) including a 73rd virgin. * Every five minutes, have to stop working to shake sand out of the keyboard. * Cards in Windows Solitaire not in Arabic. * Soda machine constantly out of Mecca Cola. * Only management is allowed to drive company camels. * Stray goats keep wandering in off the street and eating the timecards. * Have to provide own beheading knife. * Not allowed to take a personal day to stand in line for new Harry Potter book. * Office secretary no longer falling for the old "my 43rd wife doesn't understand me" line. * Stray, timecard-eating goats protected by company sexual harassment policy. 9 Responses To "On the Bright Side - No Cubicles"
* The Taliban matches 401K contributions up to six percent and you're fully vested after just three years. You think AQ can buy me off with their lower dental co-pays? My ass. * Google just opened a Baghdad bureau and is paying top dinar. * You know that team-building activity where you close your eyes, fall backwards and trust your co-worker to catch you? Your co-worker beheads you instead. * Lose my hand for bringing home office supplies? It was just a Sharpie! Damn. #1 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on July 24, 2007 05:57 PMMost of them just don't like wearing the paper hats. #2 - Posted by: Son of Bob on July 24, 2007 06:01 PM* Having to be bombarded with Dilbert comics by everybody... including being given a tie that curls up all funny like from a 'Secret Santa'. And why do they have Secret Santa? #3 - Posted by: ChrisA on July 24, 2007 09:07 PM"You want IED's with that": soon to be a catch phrase for the Baghdad McDonalds employees. When they start growing like weeds there, that is. Oh, and today Rush had a parody with Bill Clinton singing to Edwards: You aint woman enough to take my man. The Harvey Effect is unstoppable. #4 - Posted by: DohXs on July 24, 2007 09:14 PMI hear they don't even have a casual day. Everyday with the slacks, ties and bomb vests. Talk about traditionalists. #5 - Posted by: DesertElephant on July 24, 2007 10:15 PMShouldn't that be "casualty day"? #6 - Posted by: Texocon on July 25, 2007 09:44 AM*No matter how many IED's I built or children I tortured, Micheal Moore ALWAYS got the Employee of the Month Award and the stall right out front for his camel. #7 - Posted by: Casper the Friendly Host on July 25, 2007 11:57 AMTexocon, everyday is Casualty Day. God bless our troops and AQ's stupidity. =+) #8 - Posted by: DesertElephant on July 25, 2007 01:07 PMWow, you gotta visit the website for Mecca Cola. I thought it was a joke at first, but it's not. Post a comment
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