I heard he weaves potpourri baskets when he's feeling extra showy.

Elizabeth Edwards recently commented that she will not divorce John as he is a locally grown fruit.

Yes Harvey, but only on private aircraft. Knitting needles are dangerous weapons on commercial aircraft, don't cha know.

...while watching SoapNet.

Roosevelt Grier does needlepoint. John Edwards tats antimacassars to keep his hair products from damaging his antique wingback chairs.

According to the the rules of grammar, the words Ninja and John Edwards should never appear in the same sentence. Doing so, causes ninjas around the world to turn to yoga as their only form of defense.

It also allows him to simultaneously pluck his eye-brows and trim his nose hair. You might say, "so what, so can my wife's fudge-packing make-up artist". But Edwards, could also shave, if he needed to, which he doesn't - does he even have an adam's apple?

Babies hate John Edwards because his ass is softer than theirs.

I find that fact hard to believe. John Edwards does not associate with sharp objects...period. Someone could get hurt.

No wait, actually I think I did once see a photo of John Edwards knitting. I remembered it because of the safety goggles.

John Edwards had CNN cancel the evening gown competition because he felt he was upstaged by Hillary's jacket.

Edwards dexterity may allow it but he would never sullie his hands with such low effort. He hires "The Other Americans" to do this job so as not to damage his perfectly smooth hands...

I gotta call bull on this one.

All of the mentioned activities that can produce useful products that people want.

John Edwards is a ambulance chasing shyster.

It would be a violation of his shyster oath to produce anything of any concievable value.

When you sell a used car, you can get a little more money by saying it was "Lady Driven".
If you want a lot more money, say it was "John Edwards Driven".

Edwards says his butt hurts. I would have thought it was well broken in by now.

You mean there's a difference between knitting, crocheting, and needlepoint? Wow, what an informative blog.

This Internet thing may work out after all.

Are you sure it's dexterity and not just brute strength from all the free handjobs he gives in exchange for votes?

Yes, yes, folks. John's ass is broken. If he dropped trau, you would see that it's cracked.