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July 31, 2007
Ronin Profiles: Laura
* * * * What's the story behind your name? According to my father, my mother wouldn't let him name me "Shithead". I know it's vulgar, but it's the truth. Where do you live? Craphole (AKA Spokane), WA. How old are you? 25. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care. Tell us briefly about yourself. I was birthed by a jackal and raised by a troll. After 12 years of preliminary education, I decided to follow my lifelong goal...To take over the World, and eat pancakes galore! Ever killed a chipmunk? Ever wanted to? Unfortunately, no. Although, I heard they splatter when you hit 'em with a .50 cal. How long have you been reading IMAO? I'm a "new" subscriber. Only four short months of readership. What's your favorite IMAO post? lolterizt, and any of the "In My World" posts. What's you favorite political issue? Illegal Immigration, gun rights, local/national/international terrorism. Oh, and Fred Thompson. If you could shoot a powerful beam out your eyes, do you think you could find the spare time to fight evil? Only if evil is defined as Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, John Edwards, Barack Obama, and anyone with the last name of "Clinton". * * * * If you commented that you want to be included before, you're still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don't have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we'll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far! 18 Responses To "Ronin Profiles: Laura"
Boy, I sure do hope you pick me. I love answering these question thingies. Laura, your narrow definition of evil has unfortunately left out the terrorists and the PETA people. A good start to the list, though. #1 - Posted by: NMUSpidey on July 31, 2007 06:55 PMHeh, what wouldn't splatter if you hit it with a .50 cal? Actually... I haven't shot a .50 yet. It's one of my lifelong goals, though. Nice to finally meet someone else on here who hasn't been reading all that long. #2 - Posted by: Hazel on July 31, 2007 09:22 PMHmmmm...I replied to this when it was first advanced, but I think I forgot to add my email. Anyway, it's gates.matt@gmail.com I already get tons of spam in that account anyway so a little extra won't hurt. :o) #3 - Posted by: G Fresh on July 31, 2007 09:47 PMA chipmunk splatters when you hit it with just about anything. I've fired a .50 cal. It's not so much different than trying to hold down an exploding lawnmower, and we all know what that's like. #4 - Posted by: Socrates on July 31, 2007 09:47 PMAh, Laura. You're a girl after my own heart!! #5 - Posted by: Luipaard on July 31, 2007 10:14 PMHa. They don't splatter - they evaporate. Hogs splatter. Pick me. I own and shoot a 50 BMG. #6 - Posted by: Kevin on August 1, 2007 12:29 AMFrank, I'd like to be profiled! I've been reading for about three years. I'm an infrequent commenter, I did take part in your secret operation a while back, and I'm the guy that told lies about you. #7 - Posted by: ben on August 1, 2007 07:27 AMJust watched Smokin Ace's the other day and there are constant examples of .50 cal damage all over that movie. To answer the question "Heh, what wouldn't splatter if you hit it with a .50 cal?" Nothing. #8 - Posted by: Nth on August 1, 2007 07:52 AMHey, I didn't think 25 year olds were suppose to be conservative. What gives? Excellent answers! #9 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 1, 2007 07:54 AMCount me in, please. I think this is a great idea, and if I had more than one reader, I'd steal it. #10 - Posted by: LC Scotty on August 1, 2007 08:00 AMLaura - might I suggest that we back off on the caffeine just a tad? Now, that's just a suggestion...because I'm pretty sure that I too would go "splat" if shot by a .50 cal. Yay for pancakes! #11 - Posted by: Gunga on August 1, 2007 08:18 AMTell us briefly about yourself. I was birthed by a jackal and raised by a troll. After 12 years of preliminary education, I decided to follow my lifelong goal...To take over the World, and eat pancakes galore! I fully support your megalomania!! If you mix white crab meat into your pancake mix you can hypnotize those that eat it into being your slaves...I know it's true because it was on Pinky and The Brain. NARF!!! #12 - Posted by: shimuma on August 1, 2007 08:53 AM"I fully support your megalomania!! If you mix white crab meat into your pancake mix you can hypnotize those that eat it into being your slaves...I know it's true because it was on Pinky and The Brain. NARF!!!" LMAO! Brain: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I think I'm a little twitterpated now. Where were you when I was 25? Oh wait. You were 9. never mind. #14 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on August 1, 2007 11:27 AMPick me, I have eyebeams... ok, no I don't. I did make a hippy piss himself once though with just a glare. #15 - Posted by: Trigger on August 1, 2007 11:56 AMLaura, Laura, Ben, FrankJ NMUSpidey - I did forget terrorists and PETA, but I wouldn't have have to take them out with my laser-beam eyes, as I'm sure Fred Thompson is already planning a mass extinction for them. :D Post a comment
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