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August 03, 2007
Al Qaeda's "Big Surprise" Video: A Review
Posted by Harvey at 04:02 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (16)

Well, that's 54 seconds of my life completely wasted.

Points to consider, terrorist dudes:

If you're trying to scare Americans, shouldn't the threats be written in English?

Also, if you're trying to impress Americans with your technological craftiness, shouldn't your CGI be at least as good at that found in, say, Tron?

Why does the video threaten America with rockets? Is that supposed to be a credible threat? You losers couldn't even bring your own planes to 9/11.

Nice footage of ground explosions. And by nice, I mean "lame". American kids get bigger blasts with Mentos & Diet Coke.

About the "word + word = other word" formula... not working. Americans are only frightened by complete sentences.

What's with all the question marks? Are you trying to terrorize me or tell me how to get free government money?

OO! Scary terrorist leaders!... yeah, whatever... Heck, George Burns was more menacing.

Look! A picture of a flaming American! And it's not John Edwards!... Personally I think this "burning man" picture is WAY better:

This one's cool, too:

As for the whole "Soon... God willing" theme... eh... it's nothing new. Americans say that every Friday about 4:45.

By the way, that background music... the Arabic version of Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit", maybe?

Rating: 3.5/5 (1 vote cast)

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16 Responses To "Al Qaeda's "Big Surprise" Video: A Review"

It somehow reminds me of that video in The Ring. You know, random stuff that makes no sense flashing back and forth with a background noise that doesn't clarify the meaning. Does this mean the "big surprise" is in seven days?

#1 - Posted by: Hazel on August 3, 2007 04:39 PM

Perhaps Michael Moore should be called in to analyze the tape. After all, he makes nonsensical propaganda films for a living.

#2 - Posted by: Son of Bob on August 3, 2007 04:46 PM

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

"Worker and Parasite" had better graphics

#3 - Posted by: Room 237 on August 3, 2007 05:03 PM

I especially liked the backwards question marks. Backwards? These guys are 1000-year throwbacks. And the music! Islamalamalamalama. I suggest we throw 'em into an early grave.

#4 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 3, 2007 05:16 PM

I don't know that was preeety scary to me. The Ford Explorer, man's ultimate killing machine. You saw what those things did when people put the wrong kind of tires on them! I shudder to think what havok could be brought upon the USA if Khaled mohammed ali sin bawdi osama hakin maruf gets his hands on one. Chaos…sheer choas.

#5 - Posted by: kerrcarto on August 3, 2007 05:36 PM

Personally, it scared me. I'm starting to get the impression that they don't like us very much. Maybe we should run away to Canada!

I kinda liked the "Muslimy" background music. It sounded a lot like a Gregorian monk after partaking WAAAY too much of the communion wine. The only thing missing was a good hiccup at the end.

And today's "Obscure Simpsons Reference" award goes to Room 237... I loved that Gabbo episode!

#6 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 3, 2007 05:37 PM

Why is Al from Home Improvement in this thing?

#7 - Posted by: TGWShark on August 3, 2007 07:52 PM

Hell, the SFX are at LEAST as good as what is used on the Sci-Fi channel productions like Gian Killer Crocodile.

What the?!

#8 - Posted by: KeithP on August 3, 2007 08:05 PM

Also, if you're trying to impress Americans with your technological craftiness, shouldn't your CGI be at least as good at that found in, say, Tron?

Maybe they just need a government grant?

#9 - Posted by: shimauma on August 3, 2007 08:40 PM

Considering these douchebags are all mentally stuck in the 7th Century, you have to give them credit for at least getting close to what was a groundbreaking motion picture in the 80's.

And, if they seriously wanted to try and intimidate us, they could have used english, instead of that monkey-scribble crap they write in.

#10 - Posted by: DesertElephant on August 3, 2007 09:36 PM

Their question marks are even backwards!!!! And the cartoon missles, pleaeaeaease! I kept waiting on Mighty Mouse to fly out and punch them.

#11 - Posted by: hwy93 on August 3, 2007 11:28 PM

I don't know about you guys, but this threat just frightens the hell out of me!
How can you be so complacent in the...what?
Nurse just told me it's time for my medicine. Time for me to turn in.

Before I sign off, I'd like to point out that a great big bunch of Al Qaeda have been signing off lately.

Difference is: I'll be waking up tomorrow.

#12 - Posted by: Brian the sailor on August 4, 2007 02:12 AM

Actually, if you read the Arabic it isn't all threats but a clever message to their allies here in the US.

Translation: "Bush Lied and People Died"

Then it goes on to show pictures of some of the victims.

#13 - Posted by: Brian The Adequate on August 4, 2007 06:41 AM

Let's see, these guys live in the 1st century - have sex with camels and donkeys and produce stuff like this? Yup, I'm terrified!

#14 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 4, 2007 08:12 AM

If you really want to understand the islamic terrorist mind, watch video of people smoking crack. Now pretend they made a crappy video. Of course they think it's the most brilliant work ever seen.

Among things that will never happen - a video where terrorists are attacking Harry Reid. They know which side of the bread their butter's on.

#15 - Posted by: Kent on August 4, 2007 11:33 AM

I couldn't agree more, there IS NO credible terrorist threat, the fact somebody can view it as a joke like you and I means we have hope in this nation. Unlike the media always spinning it seriously, which is EXACTLY why we have no business in the middle east, they are no threat and no harm to US!

#16 - Posted by: Josh on August 7, 2007 12:48 AM
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