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August 05, 2007
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
Posted by Frank J. at 08:00 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

The Death Star is loosely based on Fred Thompson.

Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

Fred Thompson Facts
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13 Responses To "Daily Fred Thompson Fact"

They screen tested a more realistic version but really had to tone it down to prevent people from involuntarily voiding their bowels.

#1 - Posted by: CochinoMarrano on August 5, 2007 09:09 AM

Frank, I believe you're confused on this one. The Death Star was an evil, planet-size...well, death star, while Fred Thompson brings goodness and hope, and the threat of death - while very real - is felt only by our enemies and hippies (yes, I realize they're our enemies too, and deservingly so).

A young Fred Thompson was, in fact, the inspiration for the atomic bomb. That bomb kills lots of people who wish to do us harm, while utilizing a technology that provides clean energy, which is good for the environment.

#2 - Posted by: Son of Bob on August 5, 2007 10:33 AM

But the death stars were destroyed by rebel scum?!?!?!?!?!

#3 - Posted by: Clay on August 5, 2007 11:19 AM

That's no moon... IT'S A REPUBLICAN!!!

Seriously, the storm troopers were cooler anyway. And the Death Star was modeled after Fred, which means it had to be inferior to the real thing, as it was made by humanoid hands. Thus, its being blown up by rebel scum is inconsequential. Also, I believe that if Fred were a Star Wars character, he would choose to be Han Solo. He helped destroy his own likeness, thus canceling out any Thompson Invincibility Paradox.

I just said thus twice in one comment.

#4 - Posted by: BigBadUnderdog on August 5, 2007 11:27 AM

Hey, who let the Offensive Pig in here? I'm offended!

#5 - Posted by: BigBadUnderdog on August 5, 2007 11:36 AM

Frony is Mimas

#6 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on August 5, 2007 12:53 PM

I believe that Fred Thompson was originally tapped to play the Death Star but was unable to work on the project because of a prior commitment to give Chuck Norris badass lessons.

#7 - Posted by: Thomas on August 5, 2007 02:05 PM

And Jar Jar Binks was closely based on John Edwards.

#8 - Posted by: Humble Servant on August 5, 2007 02:14 PM

Who's blocking Jimmy? Fred Thompson.

#9 - Posted by: Fred! on August 5, 2007 02:21 PM

Yes, loosely based, for Fred Thompson doesn't have a thermal exhaust port two meters wide, and if he did, any attack on it would only make him more angry.

#10 - Posted by: staplegun on August 5, 2007 02:23 PM

Another Fun Fred Thompson Fact.

Fred Thompson's fundraising falls short of projections.

http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070801/NEWS0206/708010422/1001

Hmmm. FrankJ -- have you considered selling your replica samurai sword collection on eBay to help raise more money for Fred?

#11 - Posted by: Monkey Faced Liberal on August 5, 2007 04:39 PM

That is just wrong,

A real troll using the MFL tag

I thought that troll was banned for life,

Hail Chthulu,

Monkey Faced Liberal

#12 - Posted by: monkey faced liberal on August 5, 2007 05:23 PM

Wait, did you just call Fred Thompson fat?
It was nice knowing you. I'm really going to miss seeing teh funny, but there's still Scrappleface.

#13 - Posted by: Veeshir on August 6, 2007 08:47 AM
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