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August 07, 2007
Slogans for Defeat
Posted by Frank J. at 12:38 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (47)

Public opinion is starting to turn in favor of the surge, and that could be horrible news for Democrats. If Americans think victory is possible, why would they support those who favor defeat?

What Democrats need are slogans to sell defeat to the public. Here are some of my ideas:

"Wave your white flag high and proud."

"The quickest way to end a war is to surrender."

"Defeat would be a feat."

"If you think surrender will end our nation, you forget that France has surrendered many times and it's still around... mostly."

"If something is hard, give up."

"We demand another Vietnam."

"Losing is good for our character."

"Genocide helps fight global warming."

"Losing a war doesn't have to make us sad. We can all celebrate the other side's win."

"America must be humiliated! (and don't question our patriotism)"

"It's not that we want America to lose; it's just that America winning is less important than Bush losing."

Put your own slogan idea in the comments. The best slogan for selling defeat to the American public will win... high praise!

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

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47 Responses To "Slogans for Defeat"

Everytime good news comes out of Iraq, John Edwards cries.

#1 - Posted by: FormerHostage on August 7, 2007 12:47 PM

"Defeat: It's not just for losers anymore."

"Maybe it's just our time to lose."

#2 - Posted by: Rick on August 7, 2007 12:48 PM

...AND...if you surrender in the next three months, we'll include...FREE...an online subscription to the New York Times! That's a $29.95 value...FREE! But only if you quit now!

#3 - Posted by: FormerHostage on August 7, 2007 12:50 PM

We lose in Iraq means Al Qaida gets Iraq, means we WIN!!!

#4 - Posted by: Lily on August 7, 2007 12:52 PM

"War is hard!"

"It's time to focus on important issues...like the new 'American Idol' season!"

#5 - Posted by: FormerHostage on August 7, 2007 12:53 PM

Tune in, Turn on and Give up.

Surrender is for quitters.

Collaborators will be beheaded last.

Freedom is Slavery,
Ignorance is Strength,
Surrender is Victory.

#6 - Posted by: Brian The Adequate on August 7, 2007 12:59 PM

genocide is not that bad, if it happens to someone else

my brother would make a swell anti-christ

get the US out of America

let Qaddafi have his nukes back

the American people are expendable, because the terrorists probably won't get me

#7 - Posted by: Gary Kucinich on August 7, 2007 01:04 PM

"It's not winning or losing that counts. It't HOW you played the game and LOST."

"Travel Losing is so broadening."

"You win some, you lose some. Or, you just LOSE."

"Patton was wrong. Americans LOVE defeat."

#8 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 7, 2007 01:07 PM

You Can't Spell Loser Without ER, Which Is A Darn Good Show.

If You Don't Support Defeat, You Don't Support The Troops (of Al Qaeda, But Keep That On the Down Low For The Time Being)

#9 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 7, 2007 01:09 PM

we should let the terrorists win because their approval ratings are much higher than ours...

#10 - Posted by: shane on August 7, 2007 01:09 PM

Except For The Red and the Blue, These Colors Don't Run.

#11 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 7, 2007 01:25 PM

War! Huh! Good God y-all!
What is it good for?
Uncondish-nal Surrender!
Say it again now!

#12 - Posted by: BadMartin on August 7, 2007 01:27 PM

"Defeatism sounds like patriotism, if you talk fast."

#13 - Posted by: Ed Flinn on August 7, 2007 01:35 PM

Democrats: losing the wars Americans don't want to win.

#14 - Posted by: Abigail on August 7, 2007 01:46 PM

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do to destroy your country!

Billions for tribute, but not a penny for defense!

The only thing we have to fear is victory itself!

We will pay any price, bear any burden, to try to weaken our domestic political opponents. Oh, and we'll outsource the price and burden.

#15 - Posted by: Gregg on August 7, 2007 01:46 PM

I'll care about the troops when they start donating to the DNC.

We have so many more important things to spend money on, like abortions and sex changes.

FIRST, I EET DA FLAG, UN DEN I TERN DIT TO POO, AND DEN I THRO DE POO AT YOO!!

50 to 1 kills to deaths in an urban environment only sounds like victory if you say it that way.

#16 - Posted by: Ringmaster on August 7, 2007 01:56 PM

(More of a jingle, kind of like the end of mickey mouse club)

def - like def comedy jam
eat - eating is good
the U.S.A.

#17 - Posted by: zip on August 7, 2007 01:56 PM

Remember, it's not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, it's the size of the quit in the, uh, pussy.

#18 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on August 7, 2007 01:56 PM

*We didn't LOSE; We helped a friend WIN! Now that's something to be proud of!

*Free Jane Fonda workout tape with every white flag bought today! Buy 8 or more and also receive the latest Barbara Streisand album as our gift.

*Ron Paul/Dennis Kucinich in 2008 -That'll show those terrorists we mean business!

#19 - Posted by: Casper the Friendly Host on August 7, 2007 02:03 PM

I'd rather live on my knees than die on my feet.

Peace Through No Firepower

If we defeat Bush, they'll leave us alone. Really.

Insurgents are just friends who we need to be nicer to.

War is only the answer if we're fighting Republicans.

Sharia doesn't really sound so bad.

#20 - Posted by: Peregrine John on August 7, 2007 02:10 PM

We will lose, that's a gimme
besides I'd rather be a Dhimmi!

#21 - Posted by: jimbo on August 7, 2007 02:12 PM

Lets just quit! Whats the worst that could happen? Eee! Eee! (smfl)

#22 - Posted by: Bad Martin on August 7, 2007 02:12 PM

I have to tell you all that unfortunately i have never been to this site before today (stumble upon brought me here) and i absolutely love it!! sigh... Now i will have to spend the afternoon reading old posts instead of my normal Tuesday ritual of tormenting the folks over at evangelicalatheist dot com. Great work Frank J. and great comments by everyone!!

#23 - Posted by: jimbo on August 7, 2007 02:17 PM

Defeat is Sweet!
We were sissies growing up
Now we’re in charge
We are democRATs and we quit

We support the troops
(who are uneducated moronic boorish brutes)
bring them home and let’s spit on them

Democrats raising the white flag of victory again

We are Democrats and we quit this time
If Bin Laden makes us mad
We are going to really really show him next time
Really…

#24 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 7, 2007 02:20 PM

Treason; when you absolutely, positively, MUST win an election, accept no substitutes!

#25 - Posted by: Rick on August 7, 2007 02:25 PM

Defeat: When you roll the news footage backward, it looks like we're winning.

#26 - Posted by: DesertElephant on August 7, 2007 02:36 PM

If we win Iraq wins and if Iraq wins then musselmen win!

#27 - Posted by: AR on August 7, 2007 02:39 PM

"America- It's time to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory."

"Every party has a pooper, that's why you invited us."

"A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link... That's where we come in."

"If you want peace, then prepare for appeasement."

"America will NOT negotiate with terrorists. We, on the other hand..."

"Awwww! This is too hard!"

"It's never to late to quit."

#28 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 7, 2007 02:40 PM

You want to never look upon the horrid visages of Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Rosie O'donnell, right? Well if we lose THEY'LL have to wear burkas.

Also if we surrender, goofy blogger scum like Frankj, Harvey, KTLKFM, Sean Hannity will have to go underground and become rebels, 'cause you can't stop the signal, Mal, you can never... stop...the....signal....

#29 - Posted by: shimauma on August 7, 2007 02:46 PM

The Democratic Party...snatching defeat from the mouth of victory since before you were born!

#30 - Posted by: Gunga on August 7, 2007 03:05 PM

A thousand years of slavery won't be so bad!

As long as Bushitler's ratings drop another 10 points, we're willing to abandon all hope.

Hey - maybe living in the Dark Ages won't seem so bad.

We can't spell Surrender without "U"!

Winners never quit and quitters never win. But those who never win and never quit are registered Democrats.
(With apologies to Despair.com)

Liberals - when winning just isn't your style.

We'll stop whining when America stops winning!


#31 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on August 7, 2007 03:21 PM

I'm incapable of saying something defeatist. So I thought I'd fix this one for you instead:

"The quickest way to end a war is to surrender."

My version: "The quickest way to end a war is through nuclear fission."

#32 - Posted by: otcconan on August 7, 2007 03:28 PM

"We won. Saddam's dead. Let them rebuild their own damn country."

and

"If the victory prize is a big fat Islamic state isn't mass chaos in Iraq simply the better choice? It is and it's cheaper. Let's be fiscally conservative while also allowing the rest of our soldiers come home with their legs and arms still attached to their bodies."

#33 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on August 7, 2007 03:31 PM

"I got your frequency right here, Kenneth!"

#34 - Posted by: Gregg on August 7, 2007 03:35 PM

Today's enemy is just a potential future friend.
Ah, Mohammed, won't you be my fr[swish-gurgle-splat]. (Pan camera to capture severed head rolling across floor...)

---

When the going gets tough -- tough luck, we're going!

---

Libs -- self loathing taken to a national scale.

---

Be the first to join our White Hankie Drill Team!

#35 - Posted by: pilgrim1949 on August 7, 2007 03:41 PM

Defeat, it's whats for dinner, and

a yogism (yogi berra) If we lose in Iraq, the terrorist win.
bid all here peace love and understanding.

#36 - Posted by: ceann rua on August 7, 2007 04:03 PM

Losing is only as bad as you make it seem.

If you want to win this war, then it's because you're afraid of the Terrorists. You Chickens. Be brave and quit already.

#37 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on August 7, 2007 05:05 PM

When it comes to surrender, you can't do it better than your neighborhood Democratic Party!

#38 - Posted by: blue jean preachin on August 7, 2007 05:10 PM

"If we lose and our country is taken over by the enemy, we'll technically on their side then. That makes everyone a winner!"

#39 - Posted by: Hazel on August 7, 2007 05:56 PM

With Iraq, America is just two defeats away from being respected by the French!

#40 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on August 7, 2007 06:03 PM

Bong hits for Allah!

#41 - Posted by: Righteous Dude on August 7, 2007 06:25 PM

I'd rather eat camel dung than give BushHitler a victory

Live Dhimmi Or Die

Save the Jihadis, Collect the Whole Set

Whip Me. Beat Me. Make Me Lose the War.

#42 - Posted by: ColoradoRight on August 7, 2007 08:20 PM

Frick! I made a grammar mistake. "We'll technically be on their side then."*

#43 - Posted by: Hazel on August 7, 2007 08:54 PM

I hark back to that piece of crap SF show, SPACE 1999, wherein the fearless leader of Moonbase Alpha once remarked something like "if we try, we may fail- so in my judgment, we should not try."

If there ever was a mantra for the defeatacrats, that'd be it...

#44 - Posted by: Bile, Snark, and Sneer on August 7, 2007 09:14 PM

Each year, thousands of people get pesky unions on their feet that require treatment from a podiatrist.

No wait, maybe those are bunions. Both are annoying.

#45 - Posted by: John(alism) on August 7, 2007 10:31 PM

I put that last comment in the wrong thread. Oops.

#46 - Posted by: John(alism) on August 7, 2007 10:32 PM

I was going to write a slogan for defeat, but I gave up.

#47 - Posted by: hwy93 on August 8, 2007 09:59 AM
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