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August 08, 2007
Monkeys on a Plane
A man smuggled a monkey onto a flight into the U.S. He hid it under his hat (presumably a big yellow one). How are we supposed to feel safe on a flight if anyone can get a monkey on board? Isn't security supposed to stop liquids from being brought on? Do you know how much liquid you can put in a monkey? At security, you have everyone take off their hats and put them through the x-ray to check for monkeys; that's airline security 101. Otherwise, one day a group of terrorists are going to board a plane together, wait until their flight is in the air, and then they'll pull off their turbans and... MID FLIGHT MONKEY ATTACK! They better start checking for monkeys or letting me bring my gun on board. 13 Responses To "Monkeys on a Plane"
Baskets of peeled bananas at the check-in would get most hidden monkeys to reveal themselves. #1 - Posted by: spacemonkey on August 8, 2007 11:55 AMI have had it with these motherf**king monkeys on this motherf**king plane! #2 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 8, 2007 12:09 PMWe should just add it to the list of annoying questions they ask at airports. "Is there a monkey under your hat? Did you put that hat on your head yourself? Has anyone you don't know tried to put a monkey under your hat?" These kinds of questions they ask at airports are brilliant because terrorists and monkey smugglers would never lie. #4 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on August 8, 2007 12:35 PMSpacemonkey is my nominee to replace Michael Chertoff. #5 - Posted by: Gunga on August 8, 2007 01:30 PMIf we start profiling animals based on species, we are no better than the terrorists. We must subject ALL animals to full body cavity searches. #6 - Posted by: EllisWyatt on August 8, 2007 01:34 PMAh yes, the times they are achangin'. And soon there will be a multicultural rewrite of an old classic, where "Curious Habib" becomes the new standard. ...in great anticipation, my new old favorite: "Curious Habib goes Jihad" #7 - Posted by: everydayjoe on August 8, 2007 01:41 PM"First they came for the monkeys, and I did not speak out - Look, there really should be no reason NOT to smuggle a monkey on a plane. All the signs I see for standing in line say things about sharp pointy objects and bottles of shampoo. NO mention about monkeys. Clearly, this mans right to monkey has been violated. Is this a case of species profiling? Where does Evil Monkey stand on this issue? #9 - Posted by: on August 8, 2007 02:29 PMOn the bright side, at least this monkey wasn't a ninja, but I'm concerned it might have been a trial run for a monkey that does know ninjitsu. At least the monkey was hidden in the man's hat and not his pants - which is probably where John Edwards would hide a monkey. #10 - Posted by: kalthalior on August 8, 2007 03:24 PMI'm not so convinced with the liquid storage argument. From what I've seen, any liquid stored in a monkey eventually leaks out. Did you say he had a yellow hat? #11 - Posted by: c on August 8, 2007 03:39 PM//At least the monkey was hidden in the man's hat and not his pants - which is probably where John Edwards would hide a monkey.// He does. It's the smallest monkey you've ever seen & it's naughty, so it gets spanked daily. #12 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 8, 2007 04:36 PM"Spirit"? That's a dumb name for a monkey. They should name him Stetson. Or Resistol. Or Bowler, Tophat, something... #13 - Posted by: seguin on August 9, 2007 06:43 PMPost a comment
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