Could we just threaten to airdrop non poisoned rice and booze on their rural population. Let's face it, It's pretty hard to threaten people who are using cardboard as a meat substitute in their soup. I suppose a note from Dick Chaney might do the trick though.
"Dear China, You have been deemed unnecessary. Thanks for all of the take out resteraunts. Dick

"Attention, lesser nations: Any of you who can explain why we should let you continue to exist -without using the letter 'e'- will not be blown to itty bits."

"We will take over all satellites and beam Roseanne Barr's stolen sex tape 24/7 over every channel of every television in every country that pisses us off. In addition, we will jam all radio freqs with a recording of Hillary's screechier speeches."

If we won't do it, does that mean we can hire Mexicans to threaten the Chinese?

Since we control all the UFO's now and the grays work for us, we could threaten China's leadership with alien abductions while simultaneously dropping millions of Hillary bobbleheads on their cities.

That would explain the message I got in my fortune cookie last night:

"Do not worry if you money finance bad. Buy low, sell high, short dollars, imperialist monkey"

Seriously, isn't this just economic terrorism? And does this plot involve monkeys? Should I fight back by not ordering kung pao shrimp?

"We're going to turn Europe into glass! Which means will first bury it in sand and then nuke it!"

Or, we could plant an electrode in the ground in Portugal and another in . . . say . . . Poland? Call it Operation European Vitrification.

Threaten to feed their poor! The Chinese government hates it when farmers eat so start airdropping food.

Why don't we just print a trillion dollar bill and then buy back all our debt from them. Good luck trying to break that. You know how many Clark bars and Penthouse Forums the chinese would have to buy with a trillion dollars to get any change?

Let's see, short guys with "gray uniforms" are threatening us and we are suppose to be afraid? Well, there are the democrats who I'm sure are ready to surrender! I say if they want to play, let's play, biatch!

Party hacks just don't get it.

"We will destroy you by selling your debt instruments for less than they're worth."

I hope my bank tries to destroy me that way.

So, basically you're making the case for President Obama. He'd be terrific at threats.
And puppies. Admit it, Obama can deliver puppies to the American people almost as well as John Edwards.