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August 09, 2007
But That's Where I Hide My Gun!
If you go to Saudi Arabia, they may take your Bible. So, if you were planning on doing Bible studying in Saudi Arabia, you may have to change your plans. I guess one solution is to bring two Bibles. Then when they take one Bible, you can be like, "No! Not my Bible! Whatever shall I read?" but you'll secretly have another Bible. I guess that's kind of like lying -- which the Bible forbids -- but then again their stealing your other Bible -- something also forbidden by the Bible -- and two wrong make a right. Another idea is to also bring a vial of holy water. Then, when one of them tries to take your Bible, you yell, "Get away from me, heathen Moslem!" and throw the vial of holy water in his face. Then he'll scream and fall to floor as it burns away his skin. That's because it was really sulfuric acid and not water at all, but they won't know that. That's always a funny trick. 22 Responses To "But That's Where I Hide My Gun!"
Beats me why you'd want to go to Saudi Arabia in the first place. I don't think that you can get beer there, I'll bet the burritos there are terrible, and you probably can't find a baseball game to save your life. #1 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on August 9, 2007 01:05 PMActually, by saying, "No! Not my Bible! Whatever shall I read?" you aren't technically lying. You are just omitting the answer to that question, "Oh yeah, my backup copy." #2 - Posted by: Hero Squad on August 9, 2007 01:20 PMNormally the typos aren't a big deal, but "vile" of holy water? You're going to hell, FrankJ! [Homonyms! ::shakes fist:: -Ed.] #3 - Posted by: on August 9, 2007 01:23 PMWhen are we going to send Hillary, Eleanor Smeal and the rest of the NOW hags over to Saudi Arabia to "reform" their country just like they did ours? #4 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 9, 2007 01:24 PMHmmm...I think I'd get some of those exploding dye packs like the bank uses and put them in my Bible, except that the dye would be replaced with bacon grease. That would be awesome. #6 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 9, 2007 01:27 PM//Memorize it. They can't take that away from you. Barring that, you could take your laptop and then look up www.Biblegateway.com all day, hell hook it to a printer and leave all the passages(printed in arabic of course) in your hotel room for the clean up crew to get saved on. New product idea: Koran cover sleeves to hide your bible in. Then again, if they catch it, there could be trouble of the chopping off hand variety. #8 - Posted by: NeoconNews on August 9, 2007 01:35 PMbarren wasteland, no beer, no bibles, no burritos...sounds like the moon! and we all know what frank thinks we should do about the moon... #9 - Posted by: kahoona on August 9, 2007 01:40 PMPosted by: Marie on August 9, 2007 01:24 PM >> But if they find out the Bible's in your head, won't they just take your head, too? My plan, let them take it. Then laugh to self "Haha I sure fooled them, I'm not a Christian" then take out my copy of Origin of Species and read. That'll teach them. #11 - Posted by: AR on August 9, 2007 01:47 PMI cracked up immediately when I read this. About 10 years ago I bought a couple of nice black leather Bible cases with zip closures. Then I built stiffeners for each side and a foam insert for my Glock. It really is where I hide my gun!! Well, at least one of them.... #13 - Posted by: ccso8462 on August 9, 2007 01:57 PMJust give them the bible you keep in your waistband. You'll always have the back-up bible you keep in your ankle holster. (And why waste money on sulfuric acid? Holy water works just as well on a Muslim.) #14 - Posted by: Master Shake on August 9, 2007 02:12 PMThat sulfuric acid idea sounds great for regular self-defense too. I doubt any thief, murderer or rapist would commit a single crime after having his face melted off. #15 - Posted by: Hazel on August 9, 2007 02:20 PMIf I can't take my bible into Saudi Arabia (or other Muslim dominated countries) why are they allowed to bring in their Koran, Veiled Women, multiple wives et al. If our government had a backbone they'd stop all trade with these countries until this particular piece of hypocrisy is fixed. The interesting thing is that Muslims have so much faith in Jesus Christ that they are sure just having a bible in the country would cause their people to become converted. Given the tenet's of the Muslim faith, I can understand that. #16 - Posted by: seanmahair on August 9, 2007 02:40 PMThe Bible as text, pdf, or even html fits pretty easily on a USB drive, Compact Flash or similar card. Just put it in your camera. Almost all cameras can be used as card readers for the memory cards they support. Or put it on the web somewhere as innocuous archive files (01G.zip, 02E.zip, 03L.zip, and so on). The funny thing about trying to keep information out is that you can't keep information out. But that's not really funny, is it? I need to work on that. #18 - Posted by: Socrates on August 9, 2007 02:51 PMCheck out Socrates, man! Right on, bro. The Bible on a flash drive... Duh! I'm definitely gonna do that. #19 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 9, 2007 02:57 PM...but doesn't that go against the 'thou shalt not douse thine enemy with sulfuric acid whilst makething them believeth it's holy water' commandment?? Posted by: is bang on - you are going to hell Frank..... #20 - Posted by: CCHEMuse on August 9, 2007 03:18 PMOk, so I can't bring my Bible with me to Saudi Arabia. At least I'll have my "The Prophet Mohammad and his Friends" comic books to entertain me. Excellent post. I think you should pack three bibles. When they take one, you say "oh that's okay I'll just read my 'other' bible." When they take that, you'll know not to say anything else, and then you can walk away with your secret third bible. And that is the obvious way to study your bible in Saudi Arabia. #22 - Posted by: Sue on August 9, 2007 09:50 PMPost a comment
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