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August 09, 2007
Have Canada Solve Our Mexico Problem
Posted by Frank J. at 02:09 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (38)

Obviously, the best solution to our illegal immigration problem is for Mexico not to suck so much. Then again, it's real easy for America to say, "Don't suck!" when, being America, we succeed without even really trying.

That got me thinking: How does Canada do it?

Yes, they suck in comparison to America (as does every country), but while there is plenty of immigration from that country, it's not like there's people running across that border every day to get whatever below minimum wage job we have here. That implies that Canada actually has some sort of industry to sustain itself. I don't know what -- nor do I really care -- but it would be nice if they showed Mexico how to do that. Sort of an Economics 101 for countries that aren't the U.S. If Canada can have an economy and the whole place is basically a tundra, then Mexico should be able to figure something out.

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38 Responses To "Have Canada Solve Our Mexico Problem"

Canadians recognize the patron saint of hockey, and survive by this good grace.

Mexicans need to take up hockey. Or not being poor. That works too.

#1 - Posted by: Ringmaster on August 9, 2007 02:33 PM

I think we should get the company that built the Alaska Bridge to Nowhere and get them to build a bridge from Mexico to Canada. That way the Canadians can show us dumb Murricans how to properly handle illegal immigrants in a culturally-sensitive and UN-approved way, and we can all like nod our heads and make approving noises and keep asking for them to "show us again" until they figure out we don't *have* any illegal immigrants any more because we send them all to Canada. And then we laugh.

#2 - Posted by: Bad Cat Robot on August 9, 2007 02:43 PM

Canadians won't be able to teach Mexicans how to speak english...hay

#3 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 9, 2007 02:49 PM

Re: Canadian Industry

It's called Oil, and we're your number-1 supplier :-)

#4 - Posted by: G on August 9, 2007 02:56 PM

Tell us more about this "oil", G...

#5 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 9, 2007 03:04 PM

Murricans, Messicans and Canadanians. Hmmm. The North American "Union" is NOT a good idea.

#6 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 03:17 PM

Bad Cat Robot: maybe we could get the people who designed the Minneapolis bridge to build the one from Mexico to Canada.

#7 - Posted by: Socrates on August 9, 2007 03:19 PM

BTW, he's right. With Mexico, they produce about 3/4 as much as OPEC does. Maybe this NAU thing isn't such a bad idea... (J/K!)

Thanks, guys!

#8 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 9, 2007 03:26 PM

Bad Cat: I'd like to see a CBA on running a bus line from our border to Canada. Since we're just a big bunch of racist jerks, I don't think we'd need to check for id or anything, do you?

#9 - Posted by: Carolynp on August 9, 2007 03:27 PM

I hear the Canadians are ok with lumberjacking.

#10 - Posted by: Matty G on August 9, 2007 03:43 PM

A simpler solution is simply to find the tunnels the illegals have dug under the Mexico-US Border and extend them so that the illegal immigrants exit the tunnels in Canada, completely bypassing the U.S.

#11 - Posted by: Jason on August 9, 2007 04:23 PM

Why not just skip all of that and build the bridge to no where in Mexico. Then put a sign (in Spanish of course) at the start of it saying "America this way."

#12 - Posted by: Sky on August 9, 2007 04:29 PM

What Mexico problem? We don't have a Mexico problem.

We have a Washington DC problem!

#13 - Posted by: Gunga on August 9, 2007 04:35 PM

Canada: America without the guns, Neo-Con Nazis and abject poverty. But okay, keep trying to convert the world to the American Way. No wait, don't do that. The USA sucks as it is, we don't want more countries ending up as hated as you arrogant jerks.

#14 - Posted by: Uncle Sam on August 9, 2007 04:35 PM

Looks like a monkey learned how to type. It's not Shakespeare, but it's almost human...in a really stupid human sort of way.

#15 - Posted by: Emily monkeyface on August 9, 2007 04:40 PM

Canada: America Jr.

Oh, so we're Nazis again? Obviously, I'm too poor to notice, but not so poor that I can't afford a gun.

Can you imagine what WWII would have been like if the Nazis didn't have guns? How about if they were the only ones who did?

The USA doesn't suck; it's just kinda windy here because Mexico does all of the sucking & Canada just blows.

#16 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 9, 2007 04:48 PM

the difference is our friends from Canada know what the term "legal immigration" means, and they are proud of their own country so they don't need to run. if i were the Mexican Presidente, I would make it so my country is not a place my people want to escape from...instead of being pissed off at the U.S. for not being the glee club on illegals crossing the border.
and they are our number 1 source of oil. so G, why are those gas prices so high again?

#17 - Posted by: bikermommy on August 9, 2007 05:06 PM

by the way, i meant I know Canada is our number 1 supplier of oil g.

#18 - Posted by: bikermommy on August 9, 2007 05:08 PM

Why Canada has no illeagal immigration problem -

1. Loverboy, Bryan Adams, Celine Dion.
2. It's CANADA
3. -50 degrees
4. Fahrenheit
5. In June
6. They probably do, but the MSM just looks the other way.
7. The way their heads bounce open and shut when they talk.
8. Fletch Lives

#19 - Posted by: will.see on August 9, 2007 05:30 PM

The problem with Mexico, unlike Canada, is that they just don't produce any REALLY good beer.

Canada long ago realized that in order to maintain its citizenry, population-wise, it needed to make a malty beverage the masses could identify with.

What has Mexico got? ...Watered down lemon juice, briney, lite near-beers, - nothing a working man can proudly embrace.

It's all about beer, I tell you, BEER.

#20 - Posted by: everydayjoe on August 9, 2007 05:48 PM

Who da heck speedied up the comments? Now I got no excuse to look fer job. Dang you, speedier upper guy.

#21 - Posted by: WellfareJimInUSA on August 9, 2007 06:15 PM

Matty G, it's true. When you take your oath of Canadian citizenship, you get suspenders and a bra.

#22 - Posted by: DesertElephant on August 9, 2007 07:11 PM

No poverty in Canada? Visit the slums of Montreal.

#23 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 07:20 PM

The Thing is - The Mexican Government wants the poor, crappy dregs of their society to come to the US and leave Mexico. The useful immigrants from Mexico don't leave Mexico. They have jobs and $$. The Mexican government encourages their poor, delinquent population to emigrate illegally to the US so that they can get rid of them. The solution is strict border control in the US including a fence/wall and guns. Also, the Mexican government, specifically President Fox needs to be replaced and the government reformed. But that will never happen. So we should take a page out of the DD.Eisenhauer (sp?)book and just shoot at them when they try to cross the border.

#24 - Posted by: StorminNormin on August 9, 2007 07:31 PM

...The USA sucks as it is, we don't want more countries ending up as hated as you arrogant jerks. -Uncle Sam

Arrogant? Something draws you here. Check out the words behind the abbreviation: "IMAO." Then, hold up a mirror to your face. Oh, and change your name. "Uncle Sam" is an affectionate term used by Americans IN America. Okay, bye bye.

#25 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 07:47 PM

In Canada we steal your jobs by bringing them up here. It cuts down on travel time which is much nicer for us.

I work at a Bank of America office in Canada and no they don't have branches up here.

#26 - Posted by: Chris on August 9, 2007 08:25 PM

Since this was originally all about taking shots at Canada (and Mexico), I think Americans reading this stuff shouldn't be surprised when someone from Canada reacts strongly.

There are flaws and problems on both sides of the 49th. If you're going to insult Canada, be ready for an insult back at you.


#27 - Posted by: G. Gordon Libby on August 9, 2007 09:17 PM

Gordon those who can't find humour in making fun of themselves don't belong on this site. The entire basis of the most popular posts around here (IMW) is an idea that the conservatives in power in the US are people with serious mental problems. Being politically correct is rarely funny (unless you do it out of mocking those who take it seriously).

#28 - Posted by: Chris on August 9, 2007 09:44 PM

But Chris! The Conservatives aren't in power. And Bush is no Conservative. Who was it that said "Liberalism is a mental disorder." ? Does it go for conservaties, too? Ouch. That's not even funny.

#29 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 10:16 PM

Yeah the Republicans lost the last election and as left as Bush does come off on some issues he's still obviously more conservative than the elected liberals around him. In any case Frank still used the same style for IMW posts when conservatives actually liked Bush as he does now when Bush is to a degree hated.

As for actually calling things mental disorders yeah it's not funny however I hope you can see that IMW posts are funny. If you can't let your views on things be less serious when you're reading something that's intended to be funny then I feel sorry for you. Sometimes humour shouldn't be explained with a mathematical formula... actually that's almost all the time because it's not funny in our culture. If people are unwilling to not be 100% serious about things all the time then it's their problem not anyone else's.

#30 - Posted by: Chris on August 9, 2007 10:44 PM

Okay, perhaps not being able to laugh is a serious disorder. However, interesting, isn't it(?), that in all the truly funny stuff, there are many elements of truth? Humor shouldn't act as camouflage but rather as hints toward insight.

#31 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 10:56 PM

C'mon, guys. We laugh at socio-political stuff because of the sheer absurdity of it (partial birth abortions, Cindy Sheehan "retiring" & then threatening to run for ofiice, KOS/DU, ad nauseum...). The IMW's are good because they parody our two-ring circus, but the really funny sh*t (IMO) gets gleaned from the mostly mainstream news agencies- sometimes it's the stories behind the articles, other times it's the whack-jobs writing the stories up.

You would honestly think some of these stories were straight out of 'The Onion' if it weren't for the title header from their publishers. It's true what they say, "You can't make this stuff up."

You can try, but... stranger than fiction & all that.

#32 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 9, 2007 11:16 PM

Yeah, well, that's because you're SANE, Alan! Most of us simply CAN'T make this stuff up and are actually appalled at it. Laughing is often like crying. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

You, on the other hand, I read.

#33 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 9, 2007 11:24 PM

Jimmy, you may be the only person who has ever called me sane...

#34 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 10, 2007 01:08 AM

Woah, like Canadians know all aboot immigration eh? Like that one time, these hozers followed the moose too south eh, and like were in Michigan eh. The Youupers were like "You can't have our Pasties eh!" And so they headed back up north, but every year they send their hockey teams down to teach the Yanks a lesson eh.

#35 - Posted by: the brain on August 10, 2007 07:44 AM

Now that's funny 'the brain'.

#36 - Posted by: Fast Eddie on August 10, 2007 10:34 AM

Jimmy, I know mental disorders are not funny. But, tourets (sp?) cracks me up every time.

#37 - Posted by: hwy93 on August 10, 2007 02:43 PM

hwy93 -- What's so funny about tourists?

Canada has lots of illegal immigrants. We've even had some of those stupid "no one is illegal" demonstrations here.

#38 - Posted by: Josephine on August 10, 2007 05:25 PM
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