"As you all know," Barack Obama said to an assembled crowd of supporters, "I opposed the Iraq War from the start. Of course, that was because I thought Iraq was a province of Canada. Well, now I have smarter reasons to oppose the Iraq War. We have to take our troops out of Iraq and out of Afghanistan where they're doing nothing but killing civilians and immediately invade Antarctica and bring peace between the penguin and seal population."

President Bush turned off the TV. "Boy is that guy stupid. I guess I better bring peace to the world before the next guy takes over."

"Whatcha you talk'n about, Rove?"

"According to the ancient Book of Punditry, now is the time I retire permanently to the shadows."

"And do what?"

Rove eyes glowed. "Dark things... Plus, I'm going to spend more time with my family. Also, I'm writing a book."

"Really? What's it called?"

"Working title is the Necronomicon."

"Eh... I don't read books."

"I'm well aware of that."

Bush hung his head sadly. "Aww... we were such a great team. You were like Emperor Palpatine, Cheney was like Darth Vader, and I was like Jar Jar Binks, and together we were going to rule the galaxy! Now where are we going to get our evil to make others fear us? I don't know if Cheney can do that alone."

From another room they could hear Cheney shout, "More kittens! I'm hungry!"

Bush thought for a moment. "Hey, this isn't just some trick of yours, is it?"

Rove handed Bush a piece of paper. "Check today's talking points memo."

Bush read the first line aloud. "'Remember to belittle as crazy anyone who suggests Karl Rove's resignation is just a Rovian trick.' Hmm, who wrote this?" Bush checked the bottom of the memo. "Rarl Kove? Who's he?"

"He's... new." The shadows grew around Karl Rove to the point they almost enveloped the whole room. "Now is the time that I depart to the land of darkness and shadows. Know that I shall never truly be gone. Wherever a child cries, wherever dreams go unfulfilled, wherever suffering becomes unbearable, wherever a Republican seems inexplicably unconcerned with border issues, I shall be there!" For the last time, Rove faded back into the shadows, and then the shadows themselves disappeared leaving the room bright and cheery.

A kitten wandered into the room. Cheney then ran in behind it and snatched it up by the scruff of its neck.

"Rove is gone," Bush told him. "Now we have to figure things out ourselves."

"Well, the Democrats are pushing even harder to spoil things in Iraq now that they think victory might be possible."

Bush thought for a moment. "I know! We can invade Iran! Then everyone will complain about how that's a quagmire and ignore Iraq just like they now ignore Afghanistan."

Cheney shrugged his shoulders. "I guess that could work. Hey, have you seen my kitten dipping sauces?"

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In My World
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