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August 16, 2007
Messiah Hunting
Apparently President Bush is trying to kill the Islamic messiah (according to Iranian press). I think this is a good thing. There's been a big taboo about killing messiahs ever since the Jesus incident, but maybe it's time we get over it. While everyone now agrees that Jesus was a really nice person and that killing him wasn't very smurfy, considering the kind of followers this Mehdi guy attracts, the Islamic messiah is probably a big stupid jerk. I bet he's all like, "I'm the messiah! Bring me food and women! Kill unbelievers!" No, Islamic messiah, we're going to kill you. I think it would be awesome if President Bush hunted down the Islamic messiah himself and decapitated him, absorbing the Islamic messiah's powers. Then he could declare, "I am now the Islamic messiah!" and command Iran to give us all their oil, diamonds, and mutual funds. In the end, that's all we ever wanted from Iran: Every single thing of value they own. 15 Responses To "Messiah Hunting"
How hard can it be to find him? He lives at the bottom of a freakin' well! #1 - Posted by: Master Shake on August 16, 2007 12:19 PMNah. It was just their pistachio nuts. All that other stuff is a bonus. #2 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 16, 2007 12:21 PMWe need a "Gulf War 2: The Quickening"! As long as they don't turn it into a TV show. That was kinda gay. #3 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on August 16, 2007 12:28 PMThe NEW (and improved) islamic messiah is actually Ahmadinejihad's psychic evil conjoined twin. Did you really think that bulge under his "Member's Only" jacket was because he was happy to see you? #4 - Posted by: everydayjoe on August 16, 2007 12:35 PMWouldn't it be like trying to find that little leprechan and his pot of gold?? #5 - Posted by: glockman on August 16, 2007 12:45 PMWho is this muslimy messiah supposed to be, anyway? Is he like Punxsutawny Phil? "Thus sayeth the Mahdi: If It comes to pass that I see my shadow at the eve of Ramadan, thou shall have six more weeks of jihad." #6 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 16, 2007 01:12 PMIf the Islamic Messiah says, "I'm the messiah! Bring me food and women! Kill unbelievers!", how do we know which one is him? Oh, I see. Most of them don't claim to be the 12th Flying Imam or whatever. So that narrows it down a little. #7 - Posted by: Socrates on August 16, 2007 02:21 PMI totally disagree on this one. ower absorption only leads to one thing: exploding heads...and if Bush's head exploded, well, his hair just wouldn't lay right... #8 - Posted by: Gunga on August 16, 2007 02:51 PMThere can be only one (messiah). Since Jesus rose from the grave, and is obviously immortal, he still has the opportunity to cut off the imam's head, yes? #9 - Posted by: c on August 16, 2007 03:44 PMKeep a lookout for some guy using the "weirding way" whose father is being sent to R. Rakis. I find it hard to believe that Bush is really trying to kill Harry Reid. #11 - Posted by: Son of Bob on August 16, 2007 04:32 PMIf I remember the story correctly, the 12th Imam was a young child, and hasn't been seen since he began "hiding in a well." How hard is this to figure out? Even if there wasn't a long drop to the bottom, and even if the boy knew how to swim, when Lassie tried to report that little Timmy fell down a well, everyone would have been throwing rocks at her to chase her off, because muslims consider dogs to be "unclean." Personally, I feel bad for the little guy. #12 - Posted by: McBain on August 16, 2007 04:51 PMHe who controls the Madhi controls the Universe. #13 - Posted by: DesertElephant on August 16, 2007 05:47 PMFrank! Advertising the "Jesus who wasn't" is a bit beyond the pale! He was, is and will be! Sorry but this is tripe and should not be advertised anywhere! #14 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 16, 2007 05:49 PMHoly Ground is your only sanctuary Highlander. #15 - Posted by: the brain on August 17, 2007 08:10 AMPost a comment
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