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August 22, 2007
Ronin Profiles: G Fresh
* * * * What's the story behind your name? This bar I used to hang out at all the time back home in Indiana had one of those 25 cent touch screen gaming systems, or as I liked to call it, "The Crack Machine". I had a huge Crystal Balls rivalry with a friend of mine who worked at the bar. Whenever you got one of the top 3 scores you got to put your name on the high scorers list. Unfortunately, there were only 7 characters allowed so rather than trying to do a personalized license plate version of my full name, my friend suggested that I use G Fresh because I am the whitest and un-hip-hoppiest person ever. It just kind of stuck. I actually have friends in real life who call me G Fresh pretty much exclusively. Where do you live? Nashville, TN How old are you? I just turned 30 on 07/07/07. It's not too late to send me presents. Hookers and blow or Frank J's book are always a good way to go. Tell us briefly about yourself. I'm 30 years old, single and childless which I suspect makes my parents think I'm either gay, which I'm not, or that I'm just retarded when it comes to relationships, which is a distinct possibility. I'm a singer/songwriter who shamelessly plugs himself constantly (and not in the weird, creepy John Edwards kind of way, but more along the lines of www.myspace.com/matthewgates ) and I like beer...and waffles. What's worse: A monkey or a liberal? Whew, that's a tough one, but I think I'm gonna have to go with a liberal on this one. The intelligence level is about the same between the two, but liberals tend to have an adult human digestive tract which produces far more poo for flinging than a monkey's. How long have you been reading IMAO? A couple of years I think. I "Stumbled" on it one glorious, life-changing day and finally found a place where I could freely express my (until then) hidden desire to nuke the moon. What's your favorite IMAO post? I'm a big fan of Frank the Artist as well as In My World. What's you favorite political issue? Currently it's illegal immigration and the always popular Global War On Terror. Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I've got the obligatory musician's Myspace which I plugged earlier, but I've also got a youtube site with some of my musical performance videos at www.youtube.com/mattygfresh. What would you rather have: A star destroyer or a death star? I think having a death star would be a little bit scary because that would mean that the moon could in fact nuke you. I'm gonna have to go with the star destroyer. The mere thought of the carbon footprint I could create by flying that thing around makes my giblets go all-a-tingle. It's like the ultimate SUV! * * * * If you commented that you want to be included before, you're still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don't have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we'll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far! 18 Responses To "Ronin Profiles: G Fresh"
Yay! Now I'm infamous! That means more than famous. #1 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 22, 2007 06:07 PMWay to go G Fresh! Nice pub's. And Nashville is so HOT these days (now, peeeple!). I bet you could tell us about that, too! #2 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 22, 2007 06:29 PMI'd go for the Star Destroyer too. Though I'd want the huge ass one Vader had in episodes 5&6. Executor. Yeah, booyyyyy. #3 - Posted by: DesertElephant on August 22, 2007 06:44 PMJust think: if someone had a Death Star, we could re-tool the slogan to "MOON THE NUKE" & brandish our rear ends to the heavens like a bunch o' Moozlambs praying toward Mecca. I think I'd rather have a Goa-uld mothership than a star destroyer, myself. They're so much cooler looking than a giant piece of pie. Nice to meet you, G man! #4 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 22, 2007 07:00 PMHowdy, G Fresh. The YouTube vids I saw were pretty cool, everyone should check out "Rain", especially the ladies. #5 - Posted by: DohXs on August 22, 2007 07:08 PMWhere do you live? Nashville, TN Hooty Hoot, pretty great area, Dave Ramsey, Opry Mills and Seanachies Irish Pub diagonal from the Ryman. Do the hobos still hang out down by the fort? Lots of hobo killing potential there. #6 - Posted by: shimauma on August 22, 2007 07:26 PMYay! Now I'm infamous! That means more than famous. See - I tol' ya Three Amigos was a happenin' movie!! Pleasetameetcha G Fresh!! I think it's cool that you were born on 7/7/77 --- just can't get past that for some reason!! Enjoy your fame!!! #7 - Posted by: CCHEMuse on August 22, 2007 07:29 PM"I think I'd rather have a Goa-uld mothership than a star destroyer, myself. They're so much cooler looking than a giant piece of pie." I myself would probably actually go for the Serenity but only as long as River, Kaylee and Inara were included in the deal, if they weren't then I'd probably go for the Millenium Falcon. Jimmy-Yeah, we just had our 13th day of 100+ degree weather in August alone. Our previous record set 50 years ago was 7 days in August. I guess the carbon offsets that Algore bought for his house down here were allocated to some other city. :o) Shim-I'm not sure what fort you're referring to...I've only been down here a year so far and don't know the whole city yet, but when I briefly managed a White Castle after I first moved down here we had tons of homeless guys hanging out in our parking lot and bothering our customers. Unfortunately, killing them was a distinct no-no, but we were allowed to call the cops on them which was always amusing. CCHEMuse-Strangely enough, my lucky number is -12. :o) #8 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 22, 2007 08:22 PMHey G Fresh. I have a son up at Fort Campbell. He reports that the farmers corn died, the trees and shrubs are dying, his wife had a heat stroke, his two dogs died, the base is melted and the neighbors are getting sully. (Just kidding about the wife, dog and base - well, the flight tarmac is unbearable). Hope you survive this as there's no end in sight, man. #9 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 22, 2007 08:53 PMNice music G Fresh, not really my kind of music but I'm glad I listened to it. #11 - Posted by: AR on August 22, 2007 11:09 PMAR-That's cool, my songs aren't everyone's cup of tea. I appreciate that you took the time to listen to some of it though, that was really excellent of you. Thanks! :o) #12 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 22, 2007 11:33 PMIf you get the Star Destroyer, you have to get the "We Brake For Nobody" bumper sticker from Space Balls for it. #13 - Posted by: will.see on August 23, 2007 09:16 AM"If you get the Star Destroyer, you have to get the "We Brake For Nobody" bumper sticker from Space Balls for it." Only if I have room for it next to my giant Dale Earnhardt #3 sticker. :oD #14 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 23, 2007 09:57 AMThe ultimate SUV... I snorted and choked on my Dew. Co-workers already cautious around me, are walking extra carefully now. Thanks for the giggle. #15 - Posted by: Elvenbane on August 23, 2007 12:40 PMNice music, and I'ld have to agree with you on the star destroyer, and will.see about the sticker... however, if you ever bring up your "giblets" again I will unleash nigh Thompsonian levels of wrath! #16 - Posted by: on August 23, 2007 12:42 PMSo we are supposed to believe that the G Fresh name isn't from Orgazmo? #17 - Posted by: Phelps on August 23, 2007 01:45 PM"So we are supposed to believe that the G Fresh name isn't from Orgazmo?" I actually saw that movie for the first time years after I'd gotten the nickname and about choked on my popcorn when they introduced that character. It actually helped me understand some odd comments I'd gotten on my xanga blog (which I wrote as Matty G Fresh) and didn't get when I first read them. I remember one person that wrote, "I'm not gay or nothin', but I think that unicorns kick ass!", which I thought was hilarious, but I didn't get the reference until I saw the movie. So long story longer; no, I didn't get the nickname from Orgazmo. :o) #18 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 23, 2007 01:56 PMPost a comment
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