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August 24, 2007
It's Time to Move Our Military into the 21st Century with Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers on Them
Our military is very good at what it does: killing foreigners and breaking their stuff. Still, America isn't feared enough abroad because of all the whiners and second-guessers at home (we call them Democrats). To make up for this will take extreme measures. Thus it's time for the weapon our generals have been dreaming about since the Civil War: Dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them.  We need to put all our money into researching how to resurrect dinosaurs and then put rocket launchers on them. When our pathetic little enemies see dinosaurs coming at them launching rockets, they are going to give up. "How can we expect to succeed over dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them?" they'll exclaim. "We must surrender now and hope the Americans will let us worship their obviously superior god." I would expect all terrorism to end within a month of us first deploying dinosaurs with rocket launchers making this an investment well worth the money. Some may worry that we will have trouble controlling dinosaurs with rocket launchers, but I think they will listen to us as long as we are nice to them and talk to them in soothing voices saying, "Good dino. Good." All dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them want is love. 25 Responses To "It's Time to Move Our Military into the 21st Century with Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers on Them"
I think the only thing that would make this better is cyborg dinosaurs. Perhaps those scrawny arms can have machine guns in them. Sure, the dinosaur might just spray bullets randomly since it doesn't have much control, but that would only make our enemies fear us more! #1 - Posted by: Abigail on August 24, 2007 10:47 AMYour a genius man, you should have your own art gallery! #2 - Posted by: AR on August 24, 2007 10:51 AMYou might be kidding around but Ally Oop predicted this way back in 10,000 BC! That'll be a good supplement for the Army, but I think for the Navy we're gonna need sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads. #4 - Posted by: G Fresh on August 24, 2007 11:04 AMLooks like Spielberg is way ahead of you thinking up this idea. Or his ninjas photographed your drawing when you left it on the kitchen table. See: Why waste all that time trying to clone a T-Rex? Just use Hillary with a rocket launcher on her back. No wonder you 'pubs couldn't control the deficient. Geeez #6 - Posted by: Slick Willie on August 24, 2007 11:16 AMYou know, I once had an idea for a story where dinosaurs were from the future. They were bird/reptile hybrids designed for military use. The story ends with the dinos being shipped back in time to the far distant past. #7 - Posted by: No One of Consequence on August 24, 2007 11:19 AMFrank, that dinasaur image looks too professional and is out of place. Either you traced it or sarahk helped you draw it! #8 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 24, 2007 11:24 AMG Fresh stole my thunder with the sharks... but... The Air Force will surely love Pterodactyls with mini-guns and smart bombs! Up to 40 foot wing spans... those can hold a lot of munitions! http://www.mantyweb.com/dinosaur/pterodactyl.htm #9 - Posted by: Devil_Dog on August 24, 2007 12:04 PMDRLS - Dinosaur Rocket Launch System The Air Force will surely love Pterodactyls with mini-guns and smart bombs! Yeah, and given how wussy the Air Farce is, they'd call it: PMS It's still sucking hind-t*t compared to the X-15 Cruise Basselope!!! #12 - Posted by: jb on August 24, 2007 12:17 PMMaybe we could borrow Godzilla from our friends in Japan. He might bring his pal Mothra as well. Should be a good party! #13 - Posted by: seanmahair on August 24, 2007 12:29 PMYou could make those tiny hands useful by attaching guns that launch shurikens. Not that such a device exists, but that's all the reason it should be created. #14 - Posted by: Chris on August 24, 2007 01:23 PMThat's actually really well-drawn, Frank! Hey I just realized the quality is sadly greater then normal.... Now I'm disappointed with it #16 - Posted by: AR on August 24, 2007 02:58 PMFrankJ: that's one happy-looking Dinosaur... FormerHostage: I don't wanna hear no crap about the Air Force from you grunts. Don't make us cut off your CAS allowance! #17 - Posted by: HKPistole on August 24, 2007 03:25 PMBill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes) once postulated that the only thing more fearsome than a T-rex is a T-rex piloting an F-14. Look that one up. #18 - Posted by: c on August 24, 2007 04:35 PMYeah, and given how wussy the Air Farce is, they'd call it: PMS HEY!! Tell John Levitow how wussy he is! I totally respect you FH, but don't pick on us airmen; we keep your computers running! As for the using the dinosaur as a weapon, I hear Nancy Pelosi called; she wants her offspring back. I think Frank J has been watching a bit too much Boomerang, not that there is anything wrong with that. Superfriends ROCK!! On the other hand, my 5 year old thinks this is a very cool idea and "out of the mouths of babes"..... #20 - Posted by: GlockGirl26 on August 25, 2007 12:39 AMDid anyone ever play Nanosaur?? It was a game that came with old iMac computers...but it totally rocked. You were a raptor sent back in time to save dinosaur eggs before the big meteor hit...and you actually had a jetpack and guns etc. Freaking awesome. Man, I miss that game.. #21 - Posted by: Emily on August 25, 2007 11:09 PMCome on Frank - tell the truth --- you drew that gun & are blaming it on that kid, aren't you?? Luckily for all of us, (the readers here, that is - nearly everyone else in America speaks Mexican) that like all of our enemies, they don't speak AMERICAN so they won't know that the dinosaur is equipped with rocket launcers instead of launchers, but maybe we can make believe it's a new-fangled contraption that our forefathers could have only imagined..... Maybe I need to take something for this damned insomnia then I could leave Frank's incredible weapon of mass destruction (but lousy spelling) alone! And don't get me started on the Air Force shimauma....any branch of the military that pays more for uniforms that would make Edwards proud and Junior Enlisted housing that makes my FIL's (a 2-Star) quarters look like a hovel oughtta be keeping something up & running!! =0) Yeah, yeah, sleeping pills..... #22 - Posted by: CCHEMuse on August 25, 2007 11:50 PMIt's not as bad ass as the Bear Cavalry http://content.ytmnd.com/content/3/e/6/3e621738b7fe09ccb101532a9336f033.jpg #23 - Posted by: Bear Cavalry! on August 27, 2007 03:07 AMBeen playing with your Dino-Riders again Frank? #24 - Posted by: the brain on August 27, 2007 09:40 AMHow to control these wonderful creations? As a concurrent research project you could mass-clone John Edwards. They would be sooooo soft and fluffy going down they would be irresistible! Control the food-control the dinosaur. As a viable alternative, you simply unleash Fred Thompson on them. #25 - Posted by: Mark Stockman on August 27, 2007 11:00 AMPost a comment
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