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August 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Bonus Facts from Matt: John Edwards lost his role to the Pillsbury Doughboy mostly due to the fact that he was unable to stop giggling uncontrollably when poked in the belly button. If the US forewent spending 6 Million Dollars on rebuilding Lee Majors in 1974, invested half of it's government budget on R&D, and recruited the brightest minds from around the world, we STILL wouldn't have the technology or capability to create a bionic representation of the glamour and lusciousness of John Edwards' hair. 9 Responses To "Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact"
John Edwards lost his role to the Pillsbury Doughboy mostly due to the fact that he was unable to stop giggling uncontrollably when poked in the belly button. I thought it had more to do with the internal injuries it caused. (That, and the shame of losing the malpractice case against his doctor) #1 - Posted by: Master Shake on August 25, 2007 02:18 PMJohn Edwards lost out on a bid to be the narrator for Teletubbies as he was even more gender indeterminate than Tinky Winky. #2 - Posted by: seanmahair on August 25, 2007 05:46 PMIn fact, John Edwards formed a new software company called "EdwardsSoft." It directly competes with Microsoft but with a big difference: instead of just freezing your computer with the blue screen of death, a hand actually comes out of the computer and strokes your hair for John. The sensory data from that is then uploaded (called "calling home") to Silky's powerfully soft servers. #3 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 25, 2007 08:23 PMJohn Edwards was the Fourth Power Puff Girl, known as "Giggles", but was dropped from the cast after scheduling conflicts arose due to his standing nail appointment. #4 - Posted by: Mister Cantankerous on August 25, 2007 09:07 PMNote - KT was referring to a couple spam comments which have since been deleted, since they were not even entertaining enough to qualify for the Museum of Stupid Comments. #6 - Posted by: Harvey on August 26, 2007 10:46 AM//...he was unable to stop giggling uncontrollably when poked in the belly button.// Are you sure it was his belly button...? #7 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 26, 2007 11:08 AMA Sickly Flamingo once breast fed a lost and nearly feral John Edwards back to health. It then slathered itself in BBQ sauce and prayed for deliverence from it's incredible shame. #8 - Posted by: Mister Cantankerous on August 27, 2007 12:08 AMPost a comment
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John Edwards's first action if elected President? Installing an all-Streisand karaoke machine on Air Force One.
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