RoboCop in Airwolf or Blue Thunder but which one too give him. That is the question.

Bruce Dickenson...because I think justice needs more cowbell.

I recommend Lennie Brisco. He's a Jew, which fits the neo-con agenda, and any press conferences would end in a wisecrack about his prostate, ex-wife, etc. And what politics needs now is more (intentional) humor. The sad part is he's dead. And since Rove is gone now, it'll be hard to enlist the help of the undead in aid of the administration.

OMG NO FRANK NO!! NOT HORATIO CAIN!!

Can you imagine the horror of having to sit through daily press conference being overwhelmed by exponentially worse "one-liners" That would be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Ann Coulter. Cornell undergraduate, Michigan law. Just think of how many knots the pansy Dems (pardon the redundancy) would tie themselves into if she were nominated.

If Fred doesn't declare soon he could be AG. All crime would be eliminated!

Sgt Martin Riggs... from Lethal Weapon... he could even shoot smiley faces into suspects from 100 yards!

Horatio Cain, bad one-liners & all, would be notable because he has this uncanny ability to sneak up on suspects when they're just going about their business.

Zero Omega - Costar of the Mega Man X series. He's a robot, so he'll make logical decisions. He used to be an evil robot, so he has the intimidation factor. And he packs a laser sword, what more could you want?

Actually, Giuliani would make a good USAG. After all, his first name is "Rudolph," he's a good lawyer and he likes to fight crime. His motto could be, "If you see the red nose coming, you're dead."

Rooster Cogburn…”no man alive likes to be called low-down and high-smellin” The country went to hell the day John Wayne died!

I'd nominate the Duelist robot from WestWorld.

Pros: relentless; unstoppable; needs little power; great aim; cannot be killed completely.
Cons: people with guns would most likely outdraw him.

Hmmm, actually, since only conservatives have any skill with guns, that won't be too much of a problem.

I respectfully suggest Gandalf the White as AG.

Clearly, scrupulously honest AND can take down Balrogs! And, since that whole Return of the King thing is over, he is open!

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer is the obvious choice for Attorney General.

All I know is I'm not gay and I never have been gay.

Judge Judy

Horatio Cain is a Doosh. Jethro Gibbs is the man for the job. Nobody is better at drinking coffee, smacking heads and looking really pissed off. It works, for reals. and, when you get right down to it, isn't that what a good AG is?

Vampirella.

Because I like looking at Vampirella.

A certain Senator was heard to complain…”a guy smokes one peter and he’s a peter smoker for the rest of his life!”…

uh... hello? anyone home?

*cough* jack bauer *cough*

if not him, then maybe one of the characters from an original usa television show. maybe adrian monk... or johnny from dead zone... or, better still, that guy from burn notice...

i like that show

Now that I'm not distracted by any stupid worked related stuff, I can add this:

Jethro Gibbs was also a Marine sniper. could become veeery handy in certain situations.

He would have to team up often with Ziva, yet another very sexy bonus.

I'd go with my old First Sergeant. I would feel bad for him, being an Airborne Ranger put in charge of a company of cooks, but he would probably kill me for my pity. The man could PT us to death and make us love it. But since Top is esoteric, I'm going to go with PaleoMedic on this one and nominate Special Agent Gibbs.

THE BEST ONE OF ALL: HIGHLANDER!
NOTHING LIKE A MESSY BEHEADING TO SCARE THE BEJEEBERS OUT OF CRIMINALS (BONUS--THE MOONBATS WILL ALSO FAINT--SO IF WE SCHEDULE EXECUTIONS FOR THE NIGHT BEFORE AN ELECTION THEY WILL ALL BE UNCONSCIOUS AND NOT VOTE).

Fishlaw seems quite EXCITED ABOUT THE HIGHLANDER. Personally, I'm not a big Toyota Fan.

I'm thinking Judge Dread.

I think the President should issue an Executive Order conferring upon Himself the Juris Doctorate degree, and then appoint himself as Attorney General (by a recess appointment). After a bit of experience in the job, he could then declare himself Supreme Lawgiver. That would simultaneously solve the problem of when to hold the Iowa Caucus -- never.

Fear will keep the States in line -- fear of this blog.

Batman, of course.

>He would have to team up often with Ziva, yet another very sexy bonus.

C'mon now. Ms. Plainity Plain Plain? Abby >>> her. Now Kate, mmmh...

The clear choice is John McClain. He leaves a trail of bodies wherever he goes, as we were reminded in the recent documentary about him entitled Live Free or Die Hard.

What jest! Of course you must nominate noble me!

I'm thinking Brock Samson or Killface.

Clearly Mr. T would be the best choice. He has prior government experience with extralegal activities, did public service with a gymnastics team, and shows how compassionate he can be when he "Pitys the foo!".

Plus CSPAN would become very interesting as the whole confirmation hearing would be Mr. T throwing democrats onto strategicly placed empty cardboard boxes.

I second Ann Coulter, or Mark Levin (assistant to Reagan's AG, IIRC?). I think if we really put our minds into it, we could give Reid and/or Pelosi an actual aneurysm. How cool would that be?

Chomps. The worlds angriest dog.

If we're nominating dogs, why not Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog? At the confirmation hearings, he'd make fun of the Democrats almost as much as Coulter would.

How could you suggest someone from USA and not mention Shawn Spencer from Psych? "The spirits are telling me we can't perform that search. But they're saying it with 'meows.' I'm seeing hairballs everywhere..." "Cats? Katz v. United States!" "Yes!"

Fred Thompson (until he becomes president)