|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy! ![]() Buy funniest book ever! ![]() IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
![]() Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits ![]() Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck ![]() This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
August 30, 2007
Ronin Profiles: Pork & Beans
* * * * What's the story behind your name? I wrote a practice on vernacular for my writing instructor in college that had to do with eating pork & beans. She loved it and most everything else that I wrote. I signed all my homework with that name. At the end of the term she suggested I read Twain’s and Patrick McMannus’ books; she said they have that “pork & beans” flavor. Kinda stuck. Where do you live? I live on a wide spot in the road in rural western Oregon called Kings Valley. How old are you? 51, but I feel older most times. Tell us briefly about yourself. I grew up in the area where I live. I worked as a logger for many years (that’s why I hate those filthy stinkin’ hippies!). After my body started to break down, I worked for a major printer manufacturer as a technician for 11 years. Now I’m laid-off and looking for work. My wife and I breed Siberian Huskies and that helps a little. Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Aquaman if the fight were underwater (remember that Wolverine can't breathe underwater)? Also, Wolverine's claws are broken, he's hung over, and he put his mask on backwards. Who would win? I can’t breathe underwater, don’t have claws, I’m extremely hung over, put my pants on backwards, and even I could probably kick Aquaman’s butt. Wolverine, hands down! How long have you been reading IMAO? Three or four years I think. What's your favorite IMAO post? I have to say “Frank the Artist” is my favorite. You are an artistic and comic genius! I love Newsish Fakery (my photoshop work was posted there once).” There was a post by Lawrence Simon about your’s and his trip to the Olive Garden that was great. And, anything by Harvey. What's you favorite political issue? It’s all so maddening, but too important to ignore. The things democrats do to win just boils my blood. My state is “vote by mail.” My mail carrier is a stinkin’ hippie with Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers on her old Volvo station wagon. Our county (Benton) voted for socialized medicine when this blue state voted it down by 70%. I’m sure my ballot hasn’t been counted since 2000. Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes I have two. One is for our dog breeding business(it was built using MS Publisher so it needs to be viewed in IE) and the other is a blog I just started. I aspire to write like Patrick McMannus and thought I’d start writing funny stories about growing up here along with other things that come to mind. It’s pretty lame and only has one real post on it, but it’s a true story (I’ll embellish later). http://skipnrocks.blogspot.com. Be kind! How would you protect the borders? Personally, I’d have the oil companies build several refineries in Mexico first. Then I’d launch a full scale invasion on Latin America and conquer everything to the Columbian border. Panama would be broken into two states separated by the canal. The state of South Panama would become our largest military base. Our Southern border would be less then one hundred miles and a ten mile strip to the north would be firing range for all weaponry. Otherwise, I’d utilize S.M.I.T.E or the Mexi-Cannon. * * * * If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you're still in the running. Eventually I'll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far! 9 Responses To "Ronin Profiles: Pork & Beans"
Hey P+B, your website displays fine with Firefox, by the way. Good luck with those Siberians. I raised one from a fluff ball when I was a teenager. They're a great breed. That beautiful dog would greet me by grabbing my hand, just like a wolf. When he wanted to go outside, he'd go to the backdoor, touch the knob with is nose, turn, look at me and start singing. (Whoa, and we're both over 1/2 century. Not many here can say that!) #1 - Posted by: Jimmy on August 30, 2007 05:20 PMJimmy, P+B, I know what you mean. I miss my "Rurik" (Russian for Chief) so much. At the time I lived in a rural area and had him trained to always come home - but let him roam and hunt by himself. I later found out he had bitches and offspring throughout a 10-mile radius of our house! There were little Ruriks all over the place. And he was the happiest dog I ever had. #3 - Posted by: Jimmys on August 30, 2007 06:21 PMPork & Beans, Your puppies are beautiful! #4 - Posted by: jonag on August 30, 2007 06:31 PMJonag, were does he get these addvertisments? #6 - Posted by: on August 30, 2007 09:28 PMP&B - dude, I've thought for years that I'm Pat McManus's biggest fan, I own everything he's ever written and read it all countless times (I even subscribed to Outdoor Life from 1981 or so for the next ten years just so I could read Pat's humor column in the magazine). Perhaps you and your writing instructor living up in the Pacific Northwest helps but being a lifelong Tennessee native, I swear the only reason I knew about Pat at all was Outdoor Life, and his books being on sale in the chain bookstores. So did you follow your writing instructor's advice and read McManus? If so, are you saying that what you've written and you write is like that? If so, have you written anything for publication? If you can't already tell, I'd be interested in reading anything that a writing teacher said resembled McManus, so hook me up if you want and can. For any of you reading this comment that don't know Pat McManus, do yourselves a favor and check him out; even if you're not into hunting/fishing/camping his short humor pieces are an absolute riot -- they are timeless and good clean fun and if you read them late at night you'll be waking the family, falling out of your recliner or bed laughing. These days I read McManus stories to my 9 year-old twins and they adore that. Oh, P&B, loved your website, too; Huskies are indeed beautiful. Congrats and thanks for being a kind, quality breeder of a fine dog. My family of four (not counting dogs, that's another four now) rescued two Golden Retriever mixes just a couple months ago from the local shelter and then my mother-in-law went and bought my daughter a Morkie (which has become my responsibility, since I work from home lol -- that 3 pound Napoleon is much harder to deal with than any big dog I've ever been around!). Whew, we already had a 13+ year-old Lab mix! Now I feel like I'm running a kennel myself! #7 - Posted by: Bill on August 30, 2007 11:57 PMUm, Bill here, I posted the really long post earlier, I feel like a doofus for not reading the whole interview before I fired off a comment ... lol, you answered the Pat McManus questions and I'm heading over to your blog to check it out right now! #8 - Posted by: Bill on August 31, 2007 12:03 AMGreat answers Pork and Beans! Good luck with your Dog Breeding Business. Bet you are a big fan of Vick! I'd forgotten about the Mexicannon! Another of Frank's great inventions! LOL! #9 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on August 31, 2007 04:57 AMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts
![]()
![]()
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|