September 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
John Edwards once dislocated his shoulder trying to pull apart string cheese.
Surely, you jest. Edwards would never destroy his girlish figure with something as fatty as cheese!
John Edwards has never successfully opened a pop-can. He tried once. It took four hours to stop the bleeding.
John Edwards once poked his eye out on a Pixie Stix. His Mother then slashed and burned 50,000 acres of Brazilian Sugar Cane to teach those evil sugar producing bastards a lesson. You don't even want to hear about the "Gummi Bear Incident".
John Edwards once tried chewing bubble gum. It hurt so much that he couldn't talk for several days.
He also wrenched his neck trying to look at the back of his head (to check his 'DO) before he was fully trained in Mirrors 101.
Not to mention all the muscles he pulled trying to get his pizza slice to let go of the rest of the pie. Damn that stringy cheese!
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