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September 22, 2007
Do Not Tase Me -- I Repeart -- Do in No Way Tase Me, Bro
Posted by Frank J. at 09:08 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (29)

The Puppy Blender wrote that the conservative movement needs its own Andrew Meyers and then suggests me.

Come on; I am not one for cheap stunts. My points are well reasoned and I never see the need for shouting. If I wanted cheap publicity, I'd send out spacemonkey to get tasered. Shock the monkey! Heh heh.

Hmm... that could work out pretty well. He could shout, "Don't tase me bro; read IMAO!"

BTW, the article this is all about from Steve H. of Hog On Ice is a pretty interesting read. I agree; its a huge failure of the conservative movement someone hasn't thrown fame and fortune at me by now.

Rating: 2.9/5 (4 votes cast)

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29 Responses To "Do Not Tase Me -- I Repeart -- Do in No Way Tase Me, Bro"

Everyone needs to reads Steve's article. I have considered starting a Blog for a year or two now, but I've been discouraged by the lack of support I get. I'm constanly forwarding Blog articles to people I know, with almost no results.
Everyone has heard of Kos and MoveOn. We need to force our hand or we will be increasingly marginalized. We cannot afford to eat our own. Politicians are concerned about the blogosphere. The Lefties are Scared crapless by Kos and MoveOn etc. but the Righties have to settle for the occasional bone to be tossed their way. Why don't we have our own debate, or demonstrations?
Well, probalby it's because we have jobs. But really people, we need to stick together!!!!

#1 - Posted by: hippyhater on September 22, 2007 09:50 AM

Damnit, if I have to take 10,000 volts for Fred I will!!!

#2 - Posted by: hippyhater on September 22, 2007 09:55 AM

Glenn's just glad that you stopped your "filthy lies" column a long time ago and hence don't have jokes about him running current through puppies for the purposes of stunning and abducting hobos, that's all.

#3 - Posted by: Capitalist_B on September 22, 2007 11:52 AM

Hey, if lower standards is what the Right needs, them I'm your man! I don't have any reservations about fighting a crowd of idiots & if you taser me, it had better taste like coffee, because anything short of 75,000 volts is just gonna piss me off even more.

I feebly attend to my lackluster MySpace blog, but when I mature a little bit more, I'm going to start a better one.

#4 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 22, 2007 11:58 AM

I've thought about it.
And I WILL take a 'tase' for the team.

BUT, I'd better get a whole lot of tv and radio coverage. I also expect to be interviewed on 'the view.'

That'd better be the only think I take for the team, though.

#5 - Posted by: spacemonkey on September 22, 2007 12:11 PM

spacemonkey, you need to stop taking this crap and stand up for yourself.

Then fall over again when we taze you.

#6 - Posted by: sackofcatfood on September 22, 2007 12:54 PM

How dare popular websites link you! Do you know how long it took to refresh the page after Instapundit linked you? How am I supposed to hit the refresh button over and over until a new article appears when that happens?

#7 - Posted by: AR on September 22, 2007 01:49 PM

What we need are girls. That's the only reason anyone starts going to protests and acting liberal in the first place - to get girls.

($50 says this is what Meyers was doing and I'm willing to bet a lot more of us would do it if that were on the table)

----

More seriously, there are a few other things I think that are in play.

1. Access to the mainstream media. For instance, even if they had to be dragged kicking and screaming into it, you have to admit Jonah Goldberg and Glenn Reynolds do link here. What the right doesn't have, that the left does, is the opportunity for blogging to lead into full-time jobs.

This isn't just the case with blogs--if you compare National Review with the New Republic, there's a much greater chance that the mainstream media is going to treat the New Republic as a stepping stone to another career. This crowds the top and causes less turnover than there would be otherwise.

2. The same reason there are more protests on the left than the right - we're out doing stuff. This is going to sound like an insult. It's not. I first started reading your blog years ago and thought it was funny as hell. At one point it seemed to me it was going downhill; I logged back in a while ago and thought it was getting better. Since you've been spending more time on it--it shows up in the quality.

3. I'm just not sure it affects fundraising. It's only in the last election that the Dems had more money than the Republicans and Graham can say it's because of the internet, but our side has sucked lately for reasons besides money (and to some extent the largest donors are going to give to who they think will win. It would help if there's some way to tell whether people giving money through the internet wouldn't be doing it otherwise.)

#8 - Posted by: WAL on September 22, 2007 02:13 PM

We know Frank J. doesn't need cheap publicity, but a long time ago there were complaints about instapundit's site being linked to many more times than IMAO. So I decided to do my part and create a quickie blog pretty much just to link to IMAO and chip in to help the cause. All you other readers should do the same - so IMAO will rise to the top of the heap of influential right-wing sites, and Fred! will rule the world and you can stake a claim to being part of the revolution.

While you're at it, go to my blog and leave a comment telling me how funny I am. I need the moral support...

#9 - Posted by: innominatus on September 22, 2007 02:14 PM

"What we need are girls. That's the only reason anyone starts going to protests and acting liberal in the first place - to get girls." - WAL

Does that work? I mean, uhh.. not that I'd change my politics to get chicks or anything.

#10 - Posted by: AR on September 22, 2007 02:21 PM

Trying to make politics funny has got to be a difficult task and won't appeal to very many people anyway, regardless of ideology. Plus, the serious conservative bloggers who analyze events and express reasoned opinions only attract like-minded people, not the masses on the internet.

#11 - Posted by: BobbyR on September 22, 2007 02:34 PM

>"What we need are girls. That's the only reason anyone starts going to protests and acting liberal in the first place - to get girls." - WAL

>>Does that work? I mean, uhh.. not that I'd change my politics to get chicks or anything. - AR

Just remember one thing folks -- left wing women generally do not wash regularly and view concern about beauty as oppression by the patriarchy.

#12 - Posted by: Room 127 on September 22, 2007 02:55 PM

Who is Andrew Myers? Should I care?

Yes, I could google his ass, but... meh.

Fine then. I'll just link the nice doggie and go back to the pool.

#13 - Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on September 22, 2007 03:06 PM

"Who is Andrew Myers? Should I care?" -Joan of Argghh!

He is the guy who so famously said "Don't Tazer me, Bro" moments before being Tazered.

#14 - Posted by: AR on September 22, 2007 03:34 PM

Ahem...some of us here are women.....:)

#15 - Posted by: Clintons Are White Trash on September 22, 2007 04:57 PM

Yeah! By my count, there have so far been 9 female ronin profiled (give or take).

We're all more fun than those dumb hippie chicks anyways. You can't shoot with them.

#16 - Posted by: Hazel on September 22, 2007 05:17 PM

9/40-something ain't so great.... just under 25%, though it is actually better then I would have predicted.

Yes, Conservative women are a lot more fun, but they also have much higher standards, and available ones are much harder to find.

#17 - Posted by: AR on September 22, 2007 06:09 PM

So tazer dude has a name that is much less scintillating than "tazer dude". Huh.

Should I buy the shirt?

#18 - Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on September 22, 2007 07:31 PM

The world would be a better place if Frank J got a little more fame and money.

No seriously.

Really.

I'm being serious.

Rush Limbaugh and PJ O' Rourke helped out the Conservative Movement immensely. Frank J is Limbaugh 2.0.

There is a huge market out there. Most people are conservative. Most people like to laugh. That market is being underserved. If I was a conservative moneyman and had the chance to invest in A)Boring RINO losers 2)three or four funny guys like Frank J, and get him a book, and a book tour where I had a chance to actually make the money back, maybe even hit the big time if Frank hit the NYT bestseller list, and influence politics more than some Senator no one cares about.....

Unfortunately, I'm just a SF writer who wants to convince a conservative moneyman to do likewise to him. I could name a spaceship in a story the 'Frank J' tho'...does that help? If you travel to the 24th century, you'll have a spaceship waiting for you.

#19 - Posted by: Tennwriter on September 22, 2007 11:44 PM

AR, it's true. Remember a few things though: 1) in the 60s and 70s the girls on that side of the spectrum were young and *hot* while today they tend to range from looking like Rosie O'Donnell to Momma Sheehan to a really old, wrinkly cross between O'Donnell and Sheehan; 2) it mostly only works because girls on the Left aren't all that bright, which leads me to; 3) one of the rules is that sooner or later you *have* to talk (and pretend to listen) to them. How long do you think you can stand to listen to that crap?

I'm betting you're relatively young. Too bad, you missed the best chance ever to trade your principles for cheap, tawdry sex. (It was *GREAT*, thanks.)

#20 - Posted by: JorgXMcKie on September 23, 2007 12:05 AM
Trying to make politics funny has got to be a difficult task and won't appeal to very many people anyway, regardless of ideology.

Ya don't say.

#21 - Posted by: Jim Treacher on September 23, 2007 12:06 AM

JorgXMcKie, yes I am young, 18, and I think you misunderestimate my level of desperation. Eh, who am I kidding, I could never date a liberal... and am to afraid of STDs to have sex with one. Because they like having a lot of promiscuous sex.... Actually, for some reason, despite my Atheism, I still believe that people should wait until they are married.

I guess I'll just wait until I meet a (nondumb/nontaken) Republican girl. They exist in theory after all.

I'm stopping myself before I rant anymore.

#22 - Posted by: AR on September 23, 2007 01:18 AM

//We're all more fun than those dumb hippie chicks anyways. You can't shoot with them.//

Maybe if you told them you were shooting at fetuses...

#23 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 23, 2007 04:36 AM

//We're all more fun than those dumb hippie chicks anyways. You can't shoot with them.//

Or returning soldiers from Iraq...

#24 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on September 23, 2007 05:42 AM

I got a pretty good laugh out of Steve H.'s column. I am sure the millions of little lefty alt hippies that are trying to make it in entertainment and journalism are getting a nice snicker out of it too.

There is nothing so bitter as the comic scorned.

Maybe Steve has discovered why Democrats call it "the rightwing attack machine" instead of "the rightwing incubator of new conservatives machine".

#25 - Posted by: Joel Mackey on September 23, 2007 12:39 PM

AR, that was something called sarcasm. I know it ain't a good track record (I think most of them are married anyways). Most likely it's just the fact that women in general don't care about politics as much as men, and those that do have their minds screwed with by the feminazis. It's like being upset that a girl doesn't like the same kind of car as you do; it's not that she hates your car, she just doesn't care about whether it has 180 or 200hp.

You could just find a non-dumb, non-taken girl and educate her about politics. Don't push, though. Girls don't tend to like pushing.

#26 - Posted by: Hazel on September 23, 2007 05:33 PM

Sarcasm? Yah, evidently I don't get that.

#27 - Posted by: AR on September 23, 2007 06:41 PM

I wouldn't exactly call SteveH a "comic scorned." The guy is doing exactly what he wants and is being successful with it. While he obviously doesn't think much of PJM or 0.5 hour news hour, at least he makes suggestions about how they could be improved, and he even talks up the abilities of other bloggers.

And, Joel, to suggest that he shouldn't accept an Ann Coulter ad because he doesn't agree with everything that she says? That's weak. I've seen Hillary ads on IMAO. Does that mean that Frank, Sarah, et al. like Hillary? I don't think so.

Anyway, I love IMAO and HogOnIce. Can't we all just get along?

#28 - Posted by: Billy on September 23, 2007 09:54 PM

Hey, I love Hillary- she's a hottie!

**RAAAAALPH!!!*

#29 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 24, 2007 01:45 AM
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