October 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
John Edwards thinks it's strange that Ken dolls aren't sold in pairs.
Bonus Fact From Jim:
John Edwards had one tattoo.
It's a unicorn.
It's on his butt.
It washes off.
Rumor has it he's also canceled his subscriptions to Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, etc. because he was disgusted with the ultra-masculine direction they have been going in lately.
John Edwards doesn't like anatomically correct male dolls. They remind him of what's missing. He likes buldges, though.
Actually, Ken's mound is an anatomically correct, albeit exaggerated, representation of John's.
John prefers Bratz dolls, because they look a lot like transvestite hookers.
The tatoo is laced with angel dust...
As for the Ken dolls, what he's decided to do is buy a GI Joe, make him Ken's love slave, and pretend that they are at the Folsom Street Fair with his dirty mommy, Nancy Pelosi.
Because he dreams of doing that to Petreaus.
His tattoo washes off with the application of ... what?
"The tatoo is laced with angel dust..."
That's just what the dealer told him. It's really laced with what John considers to be a powerful addictive painkiller. Ibuprofen...
You sillies! That wasn't "angel dust," that was "fairy sparkles."
Stumble It!
