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October 23, 2007
How Does the Military Spend All Those Billions?
President Bush wants another million billion dollars for war. The Democrats are acting like they won't give it to him, but they're impotent little wusses and when push comes to shove, they'll squeal, "We were okay with the pushing, but the shoving is too much! Stop and we'll give you whatever you want!"
* They're now issuing military grade nunchucks to all the troops. * Treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder from the last time Hillary visited. * Cigarettes are expensive you know. * Study of what best sustains the morale of troops sitting in a hot tank: A Nintendo DS or a PSP. * How are the troops supposed to represent the best of America if they don't each have an iPhone? * There treating all the troops for psychosis since they keep claiming things aren't as bad the 100% reliable media claims they are. * They military thought they saw something, they fired all their bullets at it, and now they need more ammo. * They're putting spinners on all the tanks. * Apparently some of the stuff they blew up needs to be rebuilt. Who knew? * The troops keep crashing UAVs into each other as practical jokes, and while that is funny, it's not millions of dollars funny * The Marines' Ka-Bars are dirty and they want new ones. * They're building sandboxes for the Iraqi kids and need to import some sand. * They bought some hybrid Humvees but had to replace them after it was pointed out that violated the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. * The troops need Prozac after the devastating news that Dumbledore is gay. * All assault vehicles now come with OnStar. * The Blackwater contractors signed on to be beat, shot at, and blown up, but casting them as villains costs extra. * All the movies out of Hollywood lately are a bunch of anti-American crap, so they had to make their own movies. * Don't tell anyone, but most of the money is going towards invading Iran. 11 Responses To "How Does the Military Spend All Those Billions?"
* Don't tell anyone, but most of the money is going towards invading Iran. Bingo. #1 - Posted by: Old Geezer on October 23, 2007 01:34 PMWhere's the money go? Coffins, morphine, crutches, fake arms and legs for soldiers who have lost limbs. Bribes to bribe people many of whom probably support an Islamic state and/or Iran. Payments to mercenaries and security firms because we don't have enough troops. Payments to Iraqi soldiers - some of these Iraqi soldiers turn around and shoot us. More money spent rebuilding things because insurgents keep blowing them. #2 - Posted by: on October 23, 2007 01:37 PMPhysical therapy for sprained eyeball muscles. They get strained by exaggerated rolls while reading crap like the second (anonymous) comment. #3 - Posted by: FormerHostage on October 23, 2007 02:36 PM* They're building sandboxes for the Iraqi kids and need to import some sand.
It's probably going to buying big giant speakers to put on Hummvees and scare insurgents with. #4 - Posted by: Pantera on October 23, 2007 03:17 PM"It's probably going to buying big giant speakers to put on Hummvees and scare insurgents with." #4 - Posted by: Pantera on October 23, 2007 03:17 PM That and the Barely Man-enough CD's to torture them with............"Oh Mandy you came in a burka and I took it" #5 - Posted by: EvilleGenius on October 23, 2007 05:10 PMI have been waiting so long for the spinners on the tanks! #6 - Posted by: snarky on October 23, 2007 05:25 PMI think a small portion of the money went for stationary, envelopes, pens, and stamps so the troops could write the whiney libtards at home and say "TOLD YOU SO, BITCH - LOVE, USMC" #7 - Posted by: Raving Lunatic on October 23, 2007 05:25 PM- It ain't cheap importing openly gay Muslim hookers to entertain Democrat elected officials visiting on propaganda missions. - American policy to provide a free Wii to family of slain Iraqi insurgents. - It costs quite a bit to treat the amount of VD that Christiane Amanpour can spread during one war. - Plumbers union doesn't give any break whatsoever when removing Korans from clogged toilets. #8 - Posted by: Son of Bob on October 23, 2007 06:27 PM- Shiploads of the "I survived Roe V. Wade" tshirts because of the mistaken impression that the babe comes with it. #9 - Posted by: FormerHostage on October 23, 2007 07:21 PMIf Iran wants tio avoid their fate, all they have to do is: #3 FormerHostage, Amen brother! Post a comment
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