Governor Schwarzenegger stood at the podium for a press conference. "Hello. I am Ah-nuld! Ask your puny questions so I may crush them!"

"Are you satisfied with the government's reaction to the wild fires?" a reporter asked.

"The fire was puny!" Arnold shouted. "I crushed it! It could not stand against me! I protect Cal-ee-forn-ya! I am Ah-nuld!"

"I am afraid of nothing! I am Ah-nuld! And, if it bleeds, we can kill it!"

"Do you think the way evacuations have gone will help you politically?"

"I'm not into politics, I'm into survival! Evacuations went well because I am strong. I went door to door and said to the puny citizens, 'Come with me if you want to live.' They do as I say because they are puny and do not want me to crush them and know that I am Ah-nuld. Some were sad to leave, but I assured them, 'You'll be bahk!'"

"Do you think the relief to the fire was hindered by much of the National Guard being in Iraq?" a CNN reporter said.

Arnold chuckled. "Your question is funny. I will answer it last."

"How do you think everything the disaster here has compared to Katrina?" another reporter asked.

"Katrina was puny! It was just wind and water! This involved fire! Fire burns! It is much more deadly! Still, compared to me, it is puny... so I crushed it... since I am Ah-nuld. But I vow one thing: Cal-ee-forn-ya will be a chocolate city once again!" Arnold looked back to the CNN reporter. "You know when I said I'd answer your questions last? I lied. There was plenty of relief workers, and you are just trying to insert politics into this because you are puny. For that, I will crush you! I am Ah-nuld!" Arnold shouted, "Dah!" as he picked up and crushed the reporter.

"You have vowed to hunt down the arsonists responsible for some of these fires," a reporter said. "What are your exact plans?"

"What is best in life: Crush these enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

"What about due process?"

"Due process is puny! I will crush it!"

"How do you crush due process?"

"It simple. I am big and strong. Due process is small and puny... so I crush it! What do you not understand? I am Ah-nuld!"

"Has all of this made you consider an eventual presidential run despite not currently being allowed to be president by the Constitution?"

"The Constitution is puny! If I want to be president, I will be president! I am Ah-nuld! No Constitution will tell me what to do! I will crush it!"

"You're going to crush the Constitution?"

"It is but a puny piece of paper! I am big and strong! I am Ah-nuld! I will crush it!" Arnold checked his watch. "I have no more time for you puny people. I understand I have probably said too many thing for your puny brains to remember, so I will summarize." He held up one finger. "Puny." He held up a second finger. "Crush." He held up a third finger. "Ah-nuld. Any last questions?"

"Who are you?"

"I AM AH-NULD!"

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In My World
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