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December 24, 2007
I Fear Ron Paul
Posted by Frank J. at 07:13 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (31)

I just realized that the reason I make fun of Ron Paul is that, being a neocon, I secretly fear him and know I'm in trouble when him and his supporters inevitably take over. When Ron Paul wins the nomination (which I know will happen though I pretend to believe the poll numbers that the media use to try and marginalize Ron Paul and his supporters), I know that will be the end of me when the Americans turn on me and the rest of my neocon friends.

Also, he has the neo-Nazis and Twoofers behind him, and them guys is scary.

31 Responses To "I Fear Ron Paul"

Hey ron supporters all I have to say is "first you ignore us, then you ridicule us, then you fight us ... then you lose..." or something like that

[I believe it's "First you quote Ghandi, then you stuff chicken down your pants, then you dance a happy jig, and then you win." -Ed.]

#1 - Posted by: crazyjetguy on December 24, 2007 07:16 PM

No. First you blather, then you carry on, then you stuff Christmas ornaments down your pants, then you fall down, THEN you lose.

#2 - Posted by: Jimmy on December 24, 2007 07:33 PM

Oh how wrong you are, neo-con pimp. FIRST you quote Ghandi, then you dance a happy gig (not to be mistaken for nig or whig or big), THEN you stuff a ROAST chicken down your pants and declare victory. No non-neo-con would stuff a LIVING chicken down his pants! What are you? Anti-PETA? They put chicken smugglers in JAIL!

#3 - Posted by: Fiftycal on December 24, 2007 07:33 PM

Merry Christmas Fiftycal and all IMAOans!

#4 - Posted by: Jimmy on December 24, 2007 07:38 PM

Fudge, I hate to be the stupid one again, but can someone please explain to me what a Twoofer is? Also, I don't think that you have to worry too much about Ron Paul. The only real threat that he would pose to us would be in case we are not succeeding in Iraq and he would create an immediate withdrawl. Given the current status of that conflict, it will be easy for those of us on the right to convince him that staying will benifit both countries, thus resulting in a mild change in tone.
I don't think that it is a perfect plan, but it is something to consider. After all, as Harvey explained earlier, really Ron Paul is actually an ideal candidate for the conservative movement. The only difference is, of course, foreign policy. Otherwise, he's really just a less attractive Fred Thompson (and much less ass-kicking).

Charon Blackpowder

#5 - Posted by: Charon Blackpowder on December 24, 2007 07:39 PM

#5 - Posted by: Charon Blackpowder on December 24, 2007 07:39 PM

Up until pretty recently, I was actually in your camp. That's the thing that Paulbots who think we're all conspiring against them don't understand - Ron Paul has been in the Republican Party for years and was always well received by the right. Even after he came out against the Iraq War, I didn't hold it against him, I don't recall anybody else holding it against him, and there was nowhere near this level of vitriol towards the man.

It was the conspiracy theories that did it for me - he says he's not a truther (9/11 conspiracy theorist), but he eggs them on, and his answer to CFR/NAU stuff now is essentially "it's not a conspiracy, it's real!" According to a former aide of his, he even belongs in the "Roosevelt knew about Pearl Harbor" camp. Plus, even if you're going to be a non-interventionist you can advocate that without finding a way to blame us for every single damn thing.

#6 - Posted by: WAL on December 24, 2007 07:56 PM

Ok, I tried both live and roasted chicken. I have ruined the living room, kitchen and two and a half pairs of pants. When do i win?

#7 - Posted by: crazyjetguy on December 24, 2007 07:58 PM

A "Twoofer" is a special, "Two fer the price of one" sale. It's also a "Truther" pronounced in that special earnest way. Imagine Barbara Walters doing her best to pronounce "Truther" and you'll get the idea. Ron Paul is believed to have magical powers to discover who is responsible for 9/11, aka "The Truth". He is also closely connected to "The Force". With "The Force" and "The Truth" on his side Ron Paul is ready to roll up his sleeves and descend into obscurity. Now THAT is Twoof, Justice, and the American Way.

#8 - Posted by: Igor R. on December 24, 2007 08:07 PM

#6 - Posted by: WAL on December 24, 2007 07:56 PM

You bring up an interesting point with his inclusion of the Truthers, however I think that perhaps it could be to our benefit. Since he is engaging them, he is securing a very good voting bloc. If I remember correctly, one out of four Americans believe that the United States had something to do with 9/11. That being said, an overwhelming majority of them tend to be Democrats. When he eggs them on like this, it is possible that he could bring them onto our side. Although I am horribly optimistic, I think that if we can get these people out into the light and out of Democratic Underground, we could have a chance of securing their votes.
Now, don't get me wrong, I know that that is an insane idea, and to be honest, I doubt that that is the way that Ron Paul is thinking. Also, your mention of his signing onto this Pearl Harbor conspiracy is worrisome, at best. Fortunately, World War II is over, so we don't need to pay too much heed to any conspiracy theory beliefs that happened in the past.
With that being said, I do agree that you are correct in that, when it comes to foreign policy (which is certainly one of the top qualities we need to look for in a candidate), Ron Paul is by far the weakest. However, there is a plus side. If he is able to fall so easily for these conspiracy theories, I would have to believe that he is very easy to manipulate. All we will have to do is make sure that a large number of Republicans and like-minded conservatives (such as us) get to him and mold him into what we're looking for. It is a long shot, and probably foolish, but as I said, I am an optimist.

Charon Blackpowder.

#9 - Posted by: Charon Blackpowder on December 24, 2007 08:34 PM

Oh dear, I feel like quite the fool. Until recently, I hadn't heard about Ron Paul's little interview on Meet the Press (apparently I ended up scrolling past the post here). Other than questions about the need for troops in certain areas (such as anywhere in Europe, in my obviously naive opinion) I have to say that the idea of having this man in government on the national level is highly disturbing.
At first, I had thought that his idiocy only extended to the situation in Iraq, but there is absolutely no way that this man should be allowed anywhere near the capitol. Really, I am at a loss of words. I will say that I am in no way a Ronulan, nor ever was. I simply wanted to think of some way to work with and possibly succeed in the event of him becoming the Republican candidate. Sadly, based on what I have seen, that cannot be done.
The only thing I can think of now is to have someone confront him on the easiest issue to debate, the existence of an Iranian army. If he breaks down, admits, and repents for his stupidity, then maybe we can still use him. Otherwise, he's a lost cause.

#10 - Posted by: Charon Blackpowder on December 24, 2007 09:12 PM

Hay. I'm just hear supporting the hippy free-love platform. Particualrly the one where 18-19 y/o chicks want to get it on with old guys. Regardless of politics, since the young chicks don't know what "politics" is because MTV didn't "teach" them.

Of course I will be glad (even happy) to teach real conservative 18-45 Y/o chicks the conservative "movement".

#11 - Posted by: on December 24, 2007 09:44 PM

Frank, how can you be a neocon? I thought that "neocon" just meant "formerly liberal Jewish conservative". Have you converted recently?

#12 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on December 24, 2007 09:53 PM

Charon --
It's forgiven. It takes time to truly understand the depths of Ron Paul's 'crazy'.

#13 - Posted by: r2streu on December 24, 2007 09:54 PM

SVJ, I thought neocon just meant "pro-war liberal". Neocons are not required to be Jewish, nor are Jewish conservatives automatically really neocons. Support for Israel is a manndatory plank in the neocon platform, though. Typical examples are Guiliani and Leiberman.

Sometimes neocons claim to hold vaguely conservative positions on a few issues, usually unimportant ones. Examples: Supports flag burning amendment, promises not to raise your taxes any higher (but won't lower them either), won't vote for any additional gun control (until the next school shooting), etc. Regardless, you won't catch them actually doing anything conservative when they're elected.

One of the most important elements of the neocon position, right behind support for bombing the shit out of 3rd world countries (especially Israel's enemies), is support for mass immigration from 3rd world countries (including Israel's enemies). Steve Sailer calls this the "invade-the-world/invite-the-world" policy.

Anyway, Frank isn't a neocon, just a Fredtard.

#14 - Posted by: rast on December 24, 2007 10:26 PM

Charon,
You did what more people should be doing, finding out about the candidates. Ron Paul does unify the "blame America first"(TM) hateful leftists, but so does Cindy Sheehan and tuna safe dolphin. Other than prodding them with sharp sticks, what good are they?

Now go stick a chicken down your pants and have a Merry Christmas!

#15 - Posted by: Robert on December 24, 2007 10:40 PM

Original definition (still used correctly by approximately 5 people on planet Earth):

Ex-communists and radical leftists especially from the '30s who became more conservative over time. Typical example: Irving Kristol, you might be able to include later people like Bill Bennett into this.

2000 definition:

People who believe the same stuff a lot of neo-conservatives appeared to believe in - tough foreign policy (at first anti-USSR, later supporting democracy abroad), including domestic projects to demonstrate American greatness

2001 definition (it seems to actually be a little in decline lately, though it's still in full bloom among the wacko right and left):

Conservative Jew

Current definition:

Every conservative except Pat Buchanan and Ron Paul

#16 - Posted by: on December 24, 2007 10:48 PM

Oh those Ron Paulian kidz....they support a man who says No to all Government programs yet they sit in their dorms with their Pell Grants and Government Guranteed Student Loans. And they all have sisters with 2 kids..not married and getting welfare. The older Paulians sit at computers all day waiting for thei Social Security Disability checks.

#17 - Posted by: charmingtail on December 24, 2007 11:04 PM

How can this Ron Paul keep talking about peace all the time? Peace don't sell newspapers buddy. Peace don't sell cable tv news either.

Religious wars and preaching fear - now we all know that sells big .

What does this wack job candidate want to do ? withdraw our forces from Europe and protect our own borders?

I hate terrorists , and I love wars anywhere anytime. I want to see us bomb Iran - I sure was pissed off when they try to tell us they aint got weapons of mass destruction. Same folks said the same thing about Iraq.

Lincoln closed down newspapers that disagreed with him wanting to kill all the southerners. Threw the newspaper owners in jail without a trial too- that is what our leaders should do if any paper interviews this Paul guy too. freedom freedom freedom blah blah blah lock them paulites all up - the crazy kooks

#18 - Posted by: truthseeker on December 24, 2007 11:57 PM

It's starting make sense (as it were)-

Lincoln = Xenu

Current conservative values = engrams

Any speech made by "Dr. Paul" = Dianetics

All of us (meaning those who are prone to critical thinking) = Submissives

Ron Paul = Lafayette Ronald Hubbard!

Coincidence? I think not.

#19 - Posted by: AlanABQ on December 25, 2007 12:53 AM

Yes twoof-sucker,
Paul's biggest enemies are his supporter (i.e., you).

You know how to make friends and influence others.

Paul's promise of retroactive veto power, returning us to the economy of the 20s, Neo-Nazis in the cabinet, tinfoil foreign policy, no more black helicopters, and stopping the CIA from spying on you through your fillings must look great...to you. Now go take your meds and do what the nice nurse tells you to.

#20 - Posted by: Robert on December 25, 2007 01:36 AM

But Frank, we all know that the people supporting a candidate is no measure of that candidate.

Heck, if all the strippers, pimps, gang-bangers, neo-Nazis, KKKers, pot smokers, and liberals want to get behind Ron Paul (literally and figuratively), that must mean that Ron Paul is on the wavelength of all Americans.

#21 - Posted by: Sir Andrew on December 25, 2007 01:37 AM

"Peace don't sell newspapers buddy. Peace don't sell cable tv news either. Religious wars and preaching fear - now we all know that sells big."

The fear won't sell, because everyone's going broke, the whole system is failing. The monetary system is one of Paul's strengths.

Time to roll up our sleeves, take a risk that America is known for, be patriots to our Constitution, and get this job done.
Peace AND Prosperity.

#22 - Posted by: Caldera on December 25, 2007 02:03 AM

#19 -- AlanABQ -- I'm too lazy to look this stuff up -- when do we get to bomb the volcano?

#23 - Posted by: Capitalist_B on December 25, 2007 11:05 AM

#'s 1,2&3
no! NO! NO!
Its "First ya gets the wimmin, then ya gets the money!"

#24 - Posted by: Ed on December 25, 2007 11:16 AM

Ron Paul.. Ron Paul.. I think I remember him. It was spring of 1976 and I was looking through a department store window in Hawkett, New York. He had a head of hair, then, that would make John Edwards commit seppiku. I remember he was looking at the latest edition of Nexus Magazine. Restless, I called him over to a corner bistro and offered him a drink. I had a scotch tonic, he.. a tang. We talked for 42 minutes what he called the evils of the day, the "National Park Service" the "Postal Service" and the "illeagal cuban embargo" I thought him a striking, yet curious man. He stiffed me for the drink, obvioulsy the only money he had on him was "worthless fiat money" and he faded away in the morning.

#25 - Posted by: sundanceloki on December 25, 2007 11:53 AM

At least Frank J. admits he's a neocon. The other "I was in your camp until i saw the light" liars were never anything but neocon pimps but want us to believe they have open minds. They pretend to find some minor half-truth to dislike RP and ignore American Genocide in Iraq. Thats real believable. Whats your real hidden agenda?

#26 - Posted by: Bob on December 25, 2007 06:29 PM

Frank is a neocon in the same way that Tom Jefferson was. Remember him? bent the constitution to the breaking point to buy a hunk of land? Fought an arguably pre-emptive war against islamic terrorism?
...
So if you are ripping the great Frank J, go ahead buddy, but know this. That you are also ripping Thomas Jefferson, who not being a Jew, can not technically be called a neocon.

#27 - Posted by: billhedrick on December 25, 2007 06:46 PM

The other "I was in your camp until i saw the light" liars were never anything but neocon pimps but want us to believe they have open minds. They pretend to find some minor half-truth to dislike RP and ignore American Genocide in Iraq. Thats real believable. Whats your real hidden agenda?"

I told you in the other thread.

I'm getting paid by the Illuminati in a secret pact with the Free Masons (Frank's pals) to take down Paul and at the same time generate a tremendous amount of revenue by egging you guys onto clicking on sites like this repeatedly by constantly making fun of your candidate.

The amazing thing is we've freely admitted this to you people and it still works! (You have to admit it's brilliant-the only way you can stop from bringing us money is to stop shilling for your candidate!)

However, now that I've found out Frank's been skimming off the top, he's going to have to bribe me or we'll need to revisit our business deals.

BTW, in case you're wondering why I'm telling you this--we can track your IP Addresses on this site (no, I'm not kidding about that), so when you notice a couple vans pulling up to your house, if I were you, I'd go quietly. (We don't have to be enemies, Bob, we can work with anybody...even, an occasional person you admire - but you must be willing to be friends with us for us to be friends with you)

Nov. Ord. Seclorum

#28 - Posted by: WAL on December 25, 2007 08:07 PM

Ha ha ..... I love the Ron Paul-aliens who keep saying we are committing Genocide in Iraq. Hey has Ron Paul ever been there to tell the troops and Iraqis that? Nope. If he really believes all this...why isn't he over there telling the Iraqi Government this? Such a hypocrite!
Paul is in real danger of losing his Congressional seat to Chris Penden. http://www.chrispeden.org/ Go there and see what his local newspaper..those that know Paul best say about him! I gave Penden $50 cause Paul not only should be out of the race for the White House...the man needs to be out of public office period! The next career Doctor Paul needs is to be a butt doctor so he can remove that huge growth from his Arse know as his head!

#29 - Posted by: charmingtail on December 25, 2007 08:29 PM

Ron Paul is a stooge of the Democrats. He doesn't do anyone else any good. The nut isn't going to be the next Prez, all he can do is weaken the Republican party and then run as a thir-party candidate, like Perot who put Bubba in the White House, otherwise known as the ChiCom Motel at the time. Help China and Soros, support Ron Paul.

#30 - Posted by: Igor R. on December 26, 2007 01:31 AM

Yep!! Igor R.....follow the money...his supporters come from Students, Code Pink nuts and far right idiots. None of these people have money! The leftist are funding Paul. I went to his forums...posted about Global warming being a scam! Haha the nut jobs could not contain themselves....the leftist came out from under rocks like cockroaches to battle me over the subject. The leftist know the only way to win the White House is to highjack a moron like Paul's race in order to let Hillary win. The Clinton's can not win any other way.

#31 - Posted by: charmingtail on December 26, 2007 07:17 AM
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