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January 04, 2008
Obligatory Rant About Iowa and Huckabee
Posted by Frank J. at 12:14 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (42)

What sort of depraved individual wakes up in the morning and says, "I'm going to vote for Huckabee!" Really, the guy has no appeal to Republicans other than him shouting, "Look at me! I'm a Christian! I'm a Christian!" It's identity politics; he's the Jesse Jackson for mentally deficient white people. As a Christian myself, I thought one of our skills were supposed to be spotting frauds, but I guess a large number of "evangelicals" are lacking in that area. If you want to elect a Christian socialist, move to Europe. One advantage of the left being godless is that when they say they want my money for their harebrained policies, they never claimed it was dictated by God himself. Not going to be the case with Huckabee. If you disagree with him on taxes or humping the legs of illegal immigrants, he's going to call you a bad Christian. It's going to be so bad that it will necessitate one of us punching him, and who is going to do that? You? Are you willing to get tackled by the Secret Service?

That's of course assumes he get elected in the general election, but that's never going to happen. He'll only get the small number of Republicans behind him who don't care if you're a liberal if you have a Jesus fish on your car while scaring away all the liberals on the Democrat side since they'd never vote for anyone with a Jesus fish on his car. Huckabee is the moron Christian -- the one who uses Jesus to justify any idiotic idea -- liberals always claimed Republicans were but I never actually thought existed. It will be a disaster in the general election. Conservatives are going to have to run a third party candidate just to have something to do this year.

Anyway, I'm never buying corn again and no other American should. It's time to starve out Iowans.

Rating: 1.3/5 (3 votes cast)

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42 Responses To "Obligatory Rant About Iowa and Huckabee"

Take a chill pill, Frank. Fred Thompson won Iowa. It's all good.

#1 - Posted by: K T Cat on January 4, 2008 12:19 PM

I'll just buy my corn from other states...

Are there any good third parties? Because its looking like I might end up voting for.... ugh...R.. on... P... a...u
.....l and I REALLY don't want to do that.

#2 - Posted by: AR on January 4, 2008 12:20 PM

AR and FrankJ - So sorree for u ideeots. So sorree u big mighty guy fall down and suk. Actual nah soree for u. I just full of laughs at u and u Fraud Thomper who is a biggest jok of all eva. U iz has no cloo of what b goez'n in usa. Limpbauu doesznt nowz it eetha bout economy n suffer'n. The peeps nowz it tho n they does not want Fraud Thomper clown. It ova for u. U can nah has any votes. He he he he. He he he he. u suk

p s He he he he
p s I cross post this 4 u from elzwher. gets it. cross. like hukaB who defeatz u. steelz u thumperz thunda
p s he he he he
p s booosh katr too much to religooz rite and rooin gop 4 yearz to come. he he he he
ps jesuz fishy now bite u in ass
p s u can has suk

#3 - Posted by: Wrrrr on January 4, 2008 12:29 PM

p.s he he he he he

#4 - Posted by: Wrrrr on January 4, 2008 12:30 PM

3 theories:
1) hard core republicans went to democratic caucus to vote against Hillary, thinking no republican is as bad as her for a candidate.

2) "conservative" dems for Hillary went to republican caucus to vote for Huck, thinking that would split the party

3) too much drinking the fermented liquid corn juice in IA


#5 - Posted by: just_say_nohuck! on January 4, 2008 12:45 PM

Can't vote for "Huck"...rhymes with, you know. Mitt? Same problem. Giuliani doesn't rhyme with anything, except maybe Loni and she divorced poor Burt, besides, he's a Libtard.

Thompson rhymes with "Thompson", that super cool 45ACP shooting, three round burst giving submachine gun that Vic Morrow used on the tv show "Combat".

Besides, K T says Thompson won Iowa. Yay.
You have to think these things through, Frank.

Don't Even get me going on Hunter....

#6 - Posted by: howlsatmoon on January 4, 2008 12:47 PM

Huckabee is a moron and I am horrified at his naivete and his victory. Anyone who believes that sex offenders are reformed by an alleged religious experience is way to innocent to deal with Iran or Russia or China or North Korea, or really, even England.

Anyone who would vote for a candidate based on his religion is a fool. Voting against someone because of religion makes a certain amount of sense but assuming an entire world view for a person based on his opinion on one subject is nuts.

#7 - Posted by: Carol on January 4, 2008 01:14 PM

I'm still holding out hope. Remember, there are 49 other states that actually matter and probably won't be as dumb.

Also, grow your own corn or something. It's not that hard, and it tastes a lot better. Or, if you don't want to do that, buy it locally.

#8 - Posted by: Hazel on January 4, 2008 01:34 PM

The only reason Iowans picked Mike Huckabee is because Ned Flanders wasn't on the ballot.

#9 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on January 4, 2008 01:47 PM

Good luck with that not buying corn thing. Are you planning to walk everywhere you go.

#10 - Posted by: Paden Cash on January 4, 2008 01:48 PM

MSM will really push huck 'cause any democRAT can beat him.

#11 - Posted by: on January 4, 2008 02:09 PM

Nice rant, Frank. Made me laugh. Beautifully written. Hyuk-a-mothahucka-duck.

#12 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 4, 2008 02:12 PM

Cash has it right- they don't sell their corn for food anymore, they're selling it all for ethanol production.
Plus they didn't learn their lesson from Carter.
Yeesh

#13 - Posted by: nyexpat on January 4, 2008 02:15 PM

MSM will really push huck 'cause any democRAT can beat him.

#14 - Posted by: Alan on January 4, 2008 02:16 PM

Mr. Fred Thompson planned all this and things are working out just as he wishes them to be. He needed the “Uppity” yet “Articulate”, “Muslim”, “Drug Dealing”, “Negro” to take down Hillary in Iowa so he sent a few of his followers in to cross lines to vote for Obama. Now that she is history, Mr. Fred Thompson shall assert himself in the upcoming primaries and by February 5th, HuckaJoke shall be a fading memory…Muwhahaha!!!

#15 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on January 4, 2008 02:26 PM

#8 - Posted by: Hazel on January 4, 2008 01:34 PM

Homegrown is much better tasting, its really amazing. Its also, apparently fairly tough, even grass has trouble growing in my soil.

#16 - Posted by: AR on January 4, 2008 02:27 PM

Wrrrr...LOL

#17 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on January 4, 2008 02:29 PM

This was a good thing for Fred. He had no ambitions to win Iowa, and he stated as much. Third place was what he wanted, and third place was what he got.

South Carolina and Florida will help set matters straight... and Huckie's support base will not be able to keep up there. I cannot bring myself to believe that such mass ignorance can happen again anywhere else.

Wrrr... that was classic! *LOL*

#18 - Posted by: Devil_Dog on January 4, 2008 02:52 PM

Have any of you people actually read where Huckabee stands on the issues, or do you just assume that he's against you because that's what Rush Limbaugh says?

http://www.mikehuckabee.com/index.cfm?FuseAction=Issues.Home

Sorry, I don't see much in there any conservative can really disagree with.

#19 - Posted by: JoeB131 on January 4, 2008 02:54 PM

Sorry JoeB, but the person who turned me against Huckabee was Huckabee. That trick of "I'm not gonna engage in attack ads, so let me show you this attack ad I made but not gonna run" which has, in fact, run. That's so Clinton it makes me puke. In fact, I'll bet when Hillary heard it, it made her wet for the first time in 30 years.

Not only have I looked at what the Hucksters has to say, I look at what he did. Actions speak louder than words, and his scream very ugly things.

Frank, you ought not be surprised. As Barnum said, there's a Huckster born every minute... or was it sucker? Oh well, same difference...

#20 - Posted by: Raving Lunatic on January 4, 2008 03:15 PM

Hi-diddly-ho, JoeB!

My favorite Ned Flanders... um, I mean Huckabee position is personally apologizing for Bhutto's assassination by freeing several rapists. And he looks so cuddly in that sweater vest! Maybe we can throw Al Qaeda a big potluck so they will love us. What could possibly go wrong?

#21 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on January 4, 2008 03:42 PM

Sorry, I don't see much in there any conservative can really disagree with.


I'm shocked, SHOCKED!, that a RINO candidate's website doesn't talk about his liberal leanings or past record on crime, taxes, spending, foreign policy.


We're at war, folks. It sounds a little sloganish, but we need a Maccabee, not a Huckabee.

#22 - Posted by: RockThrowingPeasant on January 4, 2008 03:59 PM

#16 - Posted by: AR on January 4, 2008 02:27 PM

Hmm... maybe you have a different type of soil over there than we do. The only problem I had when I grew it was bugs.

#23 - Posted by: Hazel on January 4, 2008 04:05 PM

Frank, I'm thinking you should start a news series of posts:

Amazing things Hucksters Believe

Mike Huckabee is a classic conservative

Amway is a good way to make yourself independantly wealthy

The best plan for keeping America great: Step 1 - Elect Huckabee; Step 2 - ; Step 3 - Revel in greatness

No murderer will ever kill again if he swears not to.

Paris Hilton has converted to Christianity

OJ Simpson is innocent.

We shouldn't have a foreign policy, it should be American made.

#24 - Posted by: Raving Lunatic on January 4, 2008 04:09 PM

Frank,

Corn from Olathe, Colorado - try it. There is none better.

As for HuckaB, what can you expect from bible-thumping, inbred corn farmers. Me, I sat glued to the TV watching KU v. VT.

#25 - Posted by: sleeperg on January 4, 2008 04:22 PM

#23 - Posted by: Hazel on January 4, 2008 04:05 PM

Bunch of red clay in my soil..

#26 - Posted by: AR on January 4, 2008 04:24 PM

I guess you don't have to repeat "huckabee" three times to summon the hucksters. Once is enough.

#27 - Posted by: George on January 4, 2008 05:06 PM

I'd like to apologize on behalf of the horrible state in which I am currently residing. The fact that Ron Paul polled around 10-12% (I quit watching the 10% mark) is truly saddening and scary. Lets hope that IA is not, in fact, the litmus test for the rest of the primaries, as they are presently proclaiming.

#28 - Posted by: LokiVonBismarck on January 4, 2008 06:14 PM

#26 - Posted by: AR on January 4, 2008 04:24 PM

Well, that's no fun. We have a good bit of that here too, but at least there's some good topsoil. Perhaps mixing in bunches of fertilizer might help... but I really don't know.

#29 - Posted by: Hazel on January 4, 2008 07:34 PM

Never trust home-schooling moms again!

#30 - Posted by: Igor R. on January 4, 2008 07:49 PM

Hi-diddly-ho, JoeB!

My favorite Ned Flanders... um, I mean Huckabee position is personally apologizing for Bhutto's assassination by freeing several rapists. And he looks so cuddly in that sweater vest! Maybe we can throw Al Qaeda a big potluck so they will love us. What could possibly go wrong?

#21 - Posted by: Exurban Jon

Wow, it would be nice if you could actually respond to Huckabee's positions rather than jumbled straw men. I guess I expect too much.

#31 - Posted by: JoeB131 on January 4, 2008 08:14 PM

"Jumbled Straw Men"... isn't that the name of Des Moines' arena football team?

#32 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on January 4, 2008 08:33 PM

"Maccabee not Huckabee"... absolutely brilliant!

I haven't liked Huckabee from the day Instapundit and wife interviewed him on their podcast. I thought he was a liberal in conservative clothing then, and my opinion of him has only gone down since then. I'd forgive the Mormon bashing (as I have graciously forgiven IMAO) but for the guy's general smarminess and sleaziness.

It was neat to see him play guitar on Leno though.

#33 - Posted by: Wacky Hermit on January 4, 2008 08:40 PM

How can we starve with all this extra corn?

#34 - Posted by: Jennifer on January 4, 2008 08:44 PM

He can't call me a bad Christian: I'm a cheerful atheist. As for addressing Huckabee, is Simony still a crime? Quick jaunt to the third bolgia and we're ready to address any remaining non-Fred smart-alecks.

#35 - Posted by: Ed Flinn on January 4, 2008 08:47 PM

Never trust home-schooling moms again!
#30 - Posted by: Igor R. on January 4, 2008 07:49 PM

Great! There's another thing I can hate about Huckabee. He's ruined the reputations of all homeschooling moms!

Isn't it enough that he makes all Christians look stupid?

#36 - Posted by: Charity on January 4, 2008 08:49 PM

Huckabee...Every Democrats wish-for GOP candidate. Can you spell "Landslide"?

Thankfully, there ain't no way this cornseed Governor is going to win the nomination.

#37 - Posted by: cheeseball on January 4, 2008 09:36 PM

I never do business with sombody that has a "Jesus fish" on his sign or business card. If they have to say it out loud, it probably isn't true. What ever happened to "know them by their fruits"?

#38 - Posted by: TBinSTL on January 5, 2008 03:45 AM

Huckabee...Every Democrats wish-for GOP candidate. Can you spell "Landslide"?

Thankfully, there ain't no way this cornseed Governor is going to win the nomination.>>>Cheeseball.

No, we'll probably nominate John McCain because it's "His turn". And he'll lose as bad as Bob Dole did. He wasn't any good in 2000, what makes him any better now?

#39 - Posted by: JoeB131 on January 5, 2008 08:26 AM

Frank - I feel your pain man. But lets get to the root cause. FDT needs to get some better advisers, strategists and consultants. He needs to adopt a winning strategy. His message is far superior to that of Huck. The FDT campaign seems to be far too comfortable in 3rd place. Well if thats what they want, thats what they'll get. DD

#40 - Posted by: Darvin Dowdy on January 5, 2008 06:33 PM

I don't want to start any thing, but what part of the Republican party supports Ron Pau? I realize the right wing nut jobs (yes they are on the right and on the left) are voting for the Huckster, are the liberal republicans (bah, bah, pwe, pwe, bad taste in mouth) voting for Paul 'cause he sounds like he's channeling the Daily Kos.

Paraphrasing here;
"It's all America's fault. Muslims are just misunderstood. We need to stop being bully's." -Paul at the last debate.

Who are these people and can we deport them from the party? I know you should keep your friends close and your enemy's closer but really.

#41 - Posted by: seanmahair on January 6, 2008 10:26 AM

.....what on God's great good green earth could be missing from huckabee's gray matter that he announces from the iowa caucus podium the statment about a whole new way to elect a president? what shread of any type of politics does this guy get? he's played too much 'smoke on the water' or something.

if fred were a black man our next president would be the first black man to be presedent. of course, if fred were a girl, he will be the second woman (bill was just a front) to hold the office of president of the USA ....fred, he'd be the pretty one though.

#42 - Posted by: mtb23 on January 7, 2008 05:44 PM
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