 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
January 11, 2008
She Could Do SO Much More
A lot of folks are saying that Hillary's girly-ass crying jag actually made her MORE popular with some voters who obviously don't deserve the franchise. Something about making her someone they could identify with. "She's crying... I've cried... Therefore she's the fittest candidate to hold the reins of power in the mightiest nation on the face of the Earth. What could possibly go wrong?" Well, since I can't see any flaws in that chain of logic, I'll suggest that Hillary work even harder on her relatability quotient. Here are my helpful hints:  * After kissing babies, refrain from observing that they "taste like chicken".
* Upon clumsily injuring yourself in public, belt out a hearty obscene Anglo-Saxonism instead of getting that vaguely aroused look of mixed pain and delight. * Complain that cable TV is too expensive, not that it's drowning in an ocean of Obama suck-uppery. * No white shoes after Labor Day, no cleavage after age 60. * Get a tramp stamp. * Fix a broken bra strap with duct tape. * Quote Homer Simpson often and with gusto. * Next debate, criticize your opponents for leaving the toilet seat up. * Prove how hectic your public-service-oriented lifestyle is by letting your gray roots poke out an inch or two between colorings. * Flash some whale tail. * Belch loudly, smack your lips, and say "There's that Taco Bell again". * Divorce your cheating husband. Whatever you do, don't leave any more advice in the comments, lest she take it and win the election.
12 Responses To "She Could Do SO Much More"
She should harp about how men need to change their behavior and talk about how much better the world would be if women ran things. Oh, yeah...never mind. * When the person next to you complains about the noxious odor emanating from you ever-widening ass, deflect blame by saying, "He who smelt it, dealt it". That, or blame it on the nearest dog (or Bill; same difference). * Never ever spit out the wine at a campaign event & cry, "Someone forgot to wash their feet before stomping these grapes!". * In order to stop the inappropriate outbursts of giggling & cackling, refrain from wearing your Rabbit™ under your garments. * If the conversation hits on the topic of beer, don't snicker and say, "I'm kinda fond of draining a Fosters now & again". * Remember, calling someone a "Jew bastard" isn't the insult to them that it is to you. * Those crystal earrings with the trapped souls of your former opponents in the gemstones are NOT considered tasteful accessories. #2 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 11, 2008 12:52 PMDamn straight on the Divorce your cheating husband. I can't respect a woman who'd want to put a philandering rapist back into the White House. #3 - Posted by: Alice H on January 11, 2008 12:53 PMI don't want to think about the "Whale Tail". Don't rip out and eat the still-beating hearts of children...at least while the cameras are rolling. #4 - Posted by: Dodsfall on January 11, 2008 12:54 PMThe real question is how Sir Edmund Hillary's death relates to the campaign, and vice versa. She couldn't stand someone else using the name? He couldn't stand her using his name any longer? She sucked the life out of him? #5 - Posted by: exhelodrvr on January 11, 2008 12:54 PMNot sure what is more disturbing... Sorry... I am almost 50 now and my primary exposure to tatoo's have been my Dad's USMC globe and anchor. #6 - Posted by: KeithP on January 11, 2008 01:53 PM* Give herself the "Vince Foster treatment". #7 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 11, 2008 03:10 PMWith any normal female I might have a comment...with this female it's so beyond the realm of possiblity that I will just move on... #8 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on January 11, 2008 03:11 PMBabies don't taste like chicken? Why the hell do we munch on their tummies then? #9 - Posted by: Wacky Hermit on January 11, 2008 03:24 PMTell everyone how you love "The Wizard of Oz",it makes you cry every time you see the witch melting. #10 - Posted by: notforhuck on January 11, 2008 06:14 PMCackle, smile, cry, frown and fart while uttering the phrase "Only women understand." #11 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 12, 2008 12:09 AMHillary, do what the dixie chicks did when they got in trouble. Get naked and put on a magazine somewhere. #12 - Posted by: Cincinnati_Bob on January 12, 2008 11:58 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
