About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

January 28, 2008
Just So Someone Says It Publicly *UPDATED*
Posted by Frank J. at 03:08 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (71)

I've known this since freshman year of college when, for a class, I read an interview with her in which she lamented that too many blacks were going to school, but I've never said it here: Toni Morrison is a racist dumbass of monumental proportions. If you combined the worst condescending attitudes towards black people of a white liberal with an actual black person who thus has no fear of saying whatever she wants about blacks, you get Toni Morrison.

I remember in that college class I had a choice between getting an A or saying exactly what I thought of Toni Morrison in my final paper. It was an easy choice.

BTW, I learned from that same class by reading Beloved that a novel has to be some pretty atrocious crap to win both the Pulitzer and the Nobel Prize. Man did I need a Tom Clancy novel as a palate cleanser after that.

UPDATE:

I'm getting creamed on the original version of this post which was egregious in its errors even by my own standards. I guess I've gotten too used to the forgiveness of my readers and shouldn't have hacked out a post before my morning coffee and not even proofread it. Still, I hope the two points of the post were still clear:

1. I really hate Toni Morrison.
2. I'm still obsessed with every B I got in college.

On the subject of glass houses and kettles, look what I found in Ann Althouse's post -- the same post in which she is very mean to me:

But now, she's supporting Obama, and it's not necessary a contradiction.

I think that should be "necessarily"... emphasis on "think" because I don't have a very good track record today. Mistakes are why pencils have erasures erasers, though.

Rating: 2.0/5 (4 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
71 Responses To "Just So Someone Says It Publicly *UPDATED*"

Let me add to the that:
"a novel has to be some pretty atrocious crap to win both the Pulitzer and the Nobel Prize" and make Oprah's Reading List.

I wish I had known that Tom Clancy was the antidote to Toni Morrison novels. I had to read two of them.

#1 - Posted by: Sue on January 28, 2008 10:01 AM

Holy crap, that lady was like some kind of personification of everything that left offers: income redistribution, zilch morals, blantant pandering racism, a deep fundamental hate of white people, a strain of anti-semticism, a super-president that can fix everything, class warfare, and irresponsible social policies.
A Bush-Lied=Kids-Died comment and I'd swear she was some kind of avatar.

#2 - Posted by: warlord conservative on January 28, 2008 10:24 AM

Does a Tom Clancy based movie count? I don't have a lot of time on my hands and *sigh* I have to read a Toni Morrison movie next week. I haven't seen Patriot Games yet.

#3 - Posted by: Ritter on January 28, 2008 10:44 AM

Oops I meant read a Toni Morrison NOVEL. It'll suck anyway.

#4 - Posted by: Ritter on January 28, 2008 10:46 AM

Yeah, pallets can get pretty dirty, but I've never tried any Clancy on them.

#5 - Posted by: right on January 28, 2008 10:59 AM

You need a pallet cleanser? You're reading Toni Morrison while driving a forklift?

[Know what you can do? You can shut up. It's not the most common word. -Ed.]

#6 - Posted by: Steve M. on January 28, 2008 11:01 AM

Where does she say that too many black are going to school?

#7 - Posted by: nadine on January 28, 2008 11:24 AM

Man, reading that interview is like having a flash-bang grenade go off in your hands. You're so stunned by the sheer amount of stupidity that you don't even know where to start to unravel it.

I think the most obvious stupidity is when she says that dropping out of school to care for a baby isn't that bad of an idea.

#8 - Posted by: Pantera on January 28, 2008 11:55 AM

In the context you're using, it's spelled "pallette."

#9 - Posted by: 'Ol Sarge on January 28, 2008 11:55 AM

Where does she say that too many black are going to school?

She doesn't say that exactly but she does insinuate that inner city schools aren't being used to educate people. It's about 2/3rd down in the article.

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets.

#10 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 28, 2008 12:01 PM

Ed. was right:

palate - the roof of your mouth
palette - painters mixing board
pallet - bed or matress of straw
pallette - armor plates
palet - various meanings

#11 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 12:11 PM

Frank, Frank, Frank... you silly boy. She can't be a racist! She's black, homie! Only you white boys can be racists!!

(and, I TRIED to read the Time article, but my head nearly exploded and I had to stop. I believe she said whatever, cuz you say so.)

#12 - Posted by: becky on January 28, 2008 12:23 PM

Boy, sure are a lot of racist white boys around these here parts, some of you ahve guns too, bravo homies.

#13 - Posted by: Jacques on January 28, 2008 12:38 PM

"They can be teachers. They can be brain surgeons. We have to help them become brain surgeons. That's my job. I want to take them all in my arms and say, ''Your baby is beautiful and so are you and, honey, you can do it. And when you want to be a brain surgeon, call me -- I will take care of your baby.'' That's the attitude you have to have about human life. But we don't want to pay for it."

I wonder how often Toni Morrison babysits while single black mothers go to college.

...wait, I think I already know the answer.

#14 - Posted by: Tristan on January 28, 2008 12:43 PM

Wow! I somehow managed to read the whole interview. Stupid is as stupid does.

#15 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on January 28, 2008 01:02 PM

Un-freaking-believable. I don't know which is worse, her blatant racism, or this:

Q. (Question about single parent homes and unwed teenage pregnancies)

A. Well, neither of those things seems to me a debility. I don't think a female running a house is a problem, a broken family. It's perceived as one because of the notion that a head is a man.

Racist AND sexist! Quite a profile she's building there. It is an absolute fact that broken families in the post-sexual revolution era and the intentional or correlational sidelining of the traditional masculine role have been the most decimating contributors to the breakdown we are experiencing in modern society. It's a problem that we have not even begun to address, and one that will span multiple generations as new boys grow up without any examples of what it is to be a man. But oh, I forgot...they don't have those choices because the rich white men took them away.

You know who else is a lying, vile fountain of racial hatred? Oprah.

#16 - Posted by: steadyrock on January 28, 2008 01:19 PM

This has to be comedy. This is a joke, right? RIGHT?

#17 - Posted by: JD on January 28, 2008 01:46 PM

Um, ed., while you're at slapping folk down for those ghey spelling corrections, please put me on record for having told you there's no such word as "publically."

Thank you.

#18 - Posted by: comatus on January 28, 2008 01:46 PM

We wish to inform you that your application has been accepted for review. We look forward to telepathically communicating about super string theory with you.

#19 - Posted by: Super Genius Club Organizing Committee on January 28, 2008 01:58 PM

#3 - Posted by: Ritter on January 28, 2008 10:44 AM

Tom Clancy movies are nothing compared to the books. I can't stand the movies, but the books are always fantastic.

#20 - Posted by: AR on January 28, 2008 02:20 PM

When you change the title of a post, you really ought to acknowledge it. I know you altered it to conceal your own ignorance of the language in a post criticizing (in part) someone else's use of the language, but your Pravda-style airbrush is a disgrace. You've gone from amiable "humorist" (who tries way too hard) to incompetent hack. Congratulations.

[You is are retarded. -Ed.]

#21 - Posted by: stephen snell on January 28, 2008 02:34 PM

Why is someone retarded for pointing out your errors? I don't understand.

What would you say if Toni Morrison did the exact same thing you did?

[I would say, "Hey, Toni Morrison, Scott is retarded." Then she'd pontificate until my attention wanned. -Ed.]

#22 - Posted by: Scott on January 28, 2008 02:55 PM

Hey-

Youse guys snell sumptin'? Snells like ass...

#23 - Posted by: Alano, El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque! on January 28, 2008 03:02 PM

I snellin' coffee, Alan. And big snow for the NW tonight and tomorrow. But once in a while, my nose is plugged up with socialist snot.

#24 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 03:17 PM

At least you got a link out of it, Frank. Besides, since Althouse took down that pretty picture of herself, I don't go there anymore. "Bedwetting..."

[I was never a bedwetter or a thumbsucker. My childhood foibles were fear of the dark and plagiarism. -Ed.]

#25 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 03:21 PM

Where does she say that too many black are going to school?

"She doesn't say that exactly but she does insinuate that inner city schools aren't being used to educate people. It's about 2/3rd down in the article.

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. "

#10 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 28, 2008 12:01 PM

Wow, you're kidding me, right? Morrison saying that schools have to do a better job of educating black kids is the same thing as saying that too many blacks are going to school?

You people are unbelievably stupid.

#26 - Posted by: on January 28, 2008 03:46 PM

Necessary is an adjective and occasionally a noun.
Necessarily is an adverb. If you parse her sentence, she used necessary as an adverb.

The illustrious Althouse shows why being holier than thou about grammar and spelling is a touchy business. You look foolish when you make a simple mistake.

[Maybe she wets the bed! -Ed.]

#27 - Posted by: kylos on January 28, 2008 03:55 PM

And, yeah, having read the bluest eye, I don't put much worth into what Morrison has to say. The black characters who seemed to have made good life decisions were ridiculed by her for being too white, while those whose behavior was inexusable were patronized as being victims of circumstance or otherwise given passes on their behavior.

#28 - Posted by: on January 28, 2008 04:01 PM

[Maybe she wets the bed! -Ed.]

Quite possibly!

Also, the above unclaimed post is mine, just so y'all know.

#29 - Posted by: kylos on January 28, 2008 04:03 PM

Ah, typos and errors happen. I only post when wide awake and ready to rumble, use spell check faithfully and still found two or three errors after the fact in my last post. Meh. So what.

Typos and spelling errors are a sad display in honest debate anyhow, just a crappy attempt to distract from the real topic at hand.

#30 - Posted by: Uber on January 28, 2008 04:10 PM

Frank, my childhood fear was of huge vacuum cleaners. I called 'em "squashers." But I was ahead of my time then, though.

#31 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 04:22 PM

I found another typo but when a day starts out bad, it is hard to change that trajectory. Additionally, I was always a real school marm about spelling. After years of hammering my folks about quality and consistency, it finally became clear that some people do not have a comfortable relationship with the written word. They are very well spoken and have good brains, but when transcribing their thoughts to another venue, the actual writing of the words gets in the way. I've since backed off the badgering. There has to be some relationship with accepted grammar, but if they get their point across, let's all move on.

P. S. I detest Morrison as well. When the feminists talk about overthrowing the Western Canon for drivel such as this, one knows the world is indeed going to hell in a hand basket. There was only one Shakespeare, and that was William. Morrison is a fad who will someday end up popular in France.

#32 - Posted by: iowavette on January 28, 2008 04:31 PM

I've never read Toni Morrison, but good god, reading Tom Clancy is like listening to a verbose and boring 15-year-old obsess over the military--it's wonderful as a sleep aid.

#33 - Posted by: john on January 28, 2008 04:36 PM

Frank -

You could do a better job of proofreading. That being said, you gonna let that C-U-Next Tuesday talk to you like that?

#34 - Posted by: bunkerboy on January 28, 2008 04:47 PM

Personally, I think the althouse lady needs to quite looking down her nose. Typos are common, get over it. Frank's engineer not a bloody English teacher. Now if he posted specs to say, an IMAO-approved-moon-proof-bunker and the thing collapsed that would then be an appropiate call for snootery. Fo the love of Glocks, some bloggers don't even fact check, they just write down whatever the voices in their head tell them.
Oh and #26, holding pen is like a cage, and like a cage her context infers that somehow by just saying to hell with school and letting be free. Free to do what is questionabe, because they are three choices you have when you drop out of high school: prison, an untimely death or low-end dead end job manual-esque labor.

#35 - Posted by: warlord conservative on January 28, 2008 04:48 PM

It's not that you had a typo or minor spelling/grammar error. It's that you made two EGREGIOUS mistakes--one in the title--in a post that attacked someone's writing (and I agree 100% that Morrison is feckless blowhard).

Attacking major errors in grammar/spelling, i.e. elements of writing, in a post attacking the elements of an author's writing is not a distraction.

I'm not sure how slamming you makes me a socialist or a retard (jerk or obnoxious I could've lived with, retard is obviously projection on your part). I am sure that your rumbswabs making fun of my name doesn't speak well for your readship (or you).

#36 - Posted by: stephen snell on January 28, 2008 04:54 PM

Hey! Maybe the spelling mistakes were on oprpose.

#37 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 04:56 PM

I hate to do this, but I do agree with #26 (not the part about Frank being stupid) that TM was not necessarily saying that too many blacks go to school; rather, that the schools need to educate those they are charged with educating, rather than simply babysitting them. I'm not defending her remarks (see #16 above), but I think this one in particular was misread.

BTW, Oprah is still an ego-driven, racist Auntie Tom.

[To be honest (just this once!), I didn't care if I was accurately summarizing the article because:

1. My summary was more shocking than reality.
2. For the sake of the post, I felt it more authentic to go with my ten year old memory of what was in the interview.

I am an artiste, not a reporter. -Ed.]

#38 - Posted by: steadyrock on January 28, 2008 04:59 PM

#36:

There's a difference between us teasing Frank about his trouble with the spelling of homophones and you just being a dick.

#39 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 28, 2008 05:10 PM

Elloway outyay, Ankfray - it's alright. We'll fire up the Betamax and watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, I'll make some fondue, everything'll work itself out. I wasn't going after you directly for having a different interpretation, I was just flappin' my gums to stimulate the conversation (and to point out once again that Oprah is a big fat racist)...no love lost, don't tase me bro.

#40 - Posted by: steadyrock on January 28, 2008 05:16 PM

When you change the title of a post, you really ought to acknowledge it. I know you altered it to conceal your own ignorance of the language in a post criticizing (in part) someone else's use of the language, but your Pravda-style airbrush is a disgrace. You've gone from amiable "humorist" (who tries way too hard) to incompetent hack. Congratulations.

Stephen, given your post on the Althouse thread it's pretty disingenuous to say that you considered Frank an amiable humorist. If I were him, I wouldn't worry too much about pissing you off.

As far as Althouse and your comment, being a grammar/spelling Nazi isn't a direct violation of Godwin's law, but it's about as substantive and about as useful.

Frank didn't attack her for being a bad speller. He didn't attack her for bad grammar. He attacked her for writing boring books and being a bigot. And, so, in defense of this women being attacked, you point out typos.

Whoopee.

#41 - Posted by: WAL on January 28, 2008 05:19 PM

I be thinkin' all y'all needs ta lighten up on dat spellin' thang. Eitha ya gets it or ya don'. As fo' Toni, she a'ight, but I tink she be hittin' da koolaid too much, fo' shizzle. As fo' her writin' style, I'd haf to tell her straight-up dat she don' know wha th' f*ck she talkin 'bout & dat if she was all up in my bidness, I'd say "Bitch, please; you don' know me, so why you gonna tell a nizzle hiz place when it come to me an' my baby-momma's hizzay, huh? You needz to check yoself b4 you wreck yoself!"

And then, I'd smack da bitch up, yo.

#42 - Posted by: Jamal, El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque!'s cuz on January 28, 2008 05:23 PM

Ah, Mr. Snell. Coming over here to bang your little drum and pound your little chest for a while, are you?

Couple of points: first, just because you capitalize EGREGIOUS doesn't mean that the mistakes were that big a deal. They weren't, and the fact that you kept harping on it after the corrections were made puts me in mind of a preening little snot who points out day after day that the teacher once wrote the wrong answer on the blackboard.

Second, Althouse was frankly pretty prissy about FrankJ's post--one might go so far as to say "snippy". That's why the "necessary" mistake is so beautiful, especially since Frank notes it with far more grace than did Ann (for whom I thought the outburst was uncharacteristic, myself.) This forum's a little too wide open to be too snooty.

Oh, and a quick helpful hint, Stephen: it's poor form to inflict yourself on a community that doesn't want you. Shoo. Go play somewhere more amenable to pretentious blowhards.

#43 - Posted by: slarrow on January 28, 2008 05:24 PM

[Wow, you're kidding me, right? Morrison saying that schools have to do a better job of educating black kids is the same thing as saying that too many blacks are going to school?

You people are unbelievably stupid.]

It's pretty close though. For example, if I say school sucks that means I do not want to go to school. I think the problem here is not Frank's words but a total failure of imagination on your part.

#44 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 28, 2008 05:29 PM

Well, it's too bad Toni Morrison turned out to be such a biased flop. I really liked that "Hey Mickey, You're Fine" song she did back in the 80's...

;}

#45 - Posted by: Jamal, El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque!'s cuz on January 28, 2008 05:36 PM

I gave it a go, but my stupidity allergy kicked in and by about halfway through the article I was sneezing too hard to read.

#46 - Posted by: Peregrine John on January 28, 2008 06:22 PM

One of you interprets

amiable "humorist" (who tries way too hard)

as something other than derogatory? It's no compliment. Does this blog's "Editor" teach you comprehension?

And the rest of you lob hackneyed insults in your efforts to serve as the rumpswabs for a guy who puts forth a writing critique containing two horrible instances of poor writing, then calls someone a retard for criticizing him (in large part for airbrushing the post title and not acknowledging the change until after I mentioned it). And yet another of you has to plagiarize my own words (your ignorance of the context there is stunning, by the way) from a comment on another blog.

This blog's "Editor" could have avoided me entirely had he simply been honest at the time of his original changing of the title instead of going for the memory hole. I know I would have preferred that to wading into this cesspool of the trite.

This blog is like the driving through the crappy apartment complex just across the train tracks from the public high school.

Continue with your boring invective, it's all you have...

#47 - Posted by: stephen snell on January 28, 2008 06:26 PM

This blog is like the driving through the crappy apartment complex just across the train tracks from the public high school.

And yet, he won't go home...

#48 - Posted by: Jamal, El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque!'s cuz on January 28, 2008 06:38 PM

Althouse isn't usually so stupidly ad hominem. At least she didn't criticize you for being ugly, which is just about at the same level as criticizing you for your spelling, when spelling has dick to do with the issue.

Maybe you touched a nerve there, with your suggestion that college perfessers sometimes grade according to their personal tastes instead of the quality of the writing.

#49 - Posted by: Carl Pham on January 28, 2008 06:40 PM

This blog's "Editor" could have avoided me entirely had he simply been honest at the time of his original changing of the title instead of going for the memory hole. I know I would have preferred that to wading into this cesspool of the trite.

Really? But apparently, the "trite" is what kept you coming around...?

IMAO: Come for Teh Funny, Stay for the "Cesspool of Trite"

#50 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 28, 2008 06:44 PM

This blog is like the driving through the crappy apartment complex just across the train tracks from the public high school.

I find this rumbswab's sentence above to be awkwardly worded. I do not like "the driving through the" part. I do not like it all. Writing awkward sentences in a comment about grammatical errors is a heinous act indeed. It's like taking a drive in the projects near the Dairy Queen just across from the bus station.

#51 - Posted by: Sarcasm Man on January 28, 2008 06:46 PM

Sarcasm Man: Finally living up to his name.

#52 - Posted by: AlanABQ on January 28, 2008 06:59 PM

[Sarc] Yeah, Duque, what's up w/Sarc? [/Sarc.]

#53 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 07:42 PM

Stephen, in the history of crushing derogatory insults, amiable humorist is not very far up the list.

Your comments here are being met with the depth and the substance with which they were posted - I'd prefer not to call someone retarded, but it's all that any comments you've left deserve.

You have a stick up your ass about a guy and yet the best you can do to counter this guy you despise is to point out typos - in the end that says more about you than it does Frank.

Frank and the rest of us will point out Toni Morrison's a bigot, and you'll point out typos. Cool.

#54 - Posted by: WAL on January 28, 2008 07:45 PM

Hey mr.smell, is it rumpswab or rumbswab. Just wanted to know so the next time I use it to attempt to be a pissy little nebbish, I will get it right.

And, Frank, we all know that he is so wrong when he accuses you of "trying way too hard". Not even making the effort of pants under your poncho is barely trying at all. ;)

#55 - Posted by: neocon cowgirl on January 28, 2008 07:59 PM

Oh, but he's doing more than that WAL. He's looking down is socialist-snot-encrusted nose at us!

I be snellin' a do-better slip.

#56 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 08:03 PM

Hi "warlord." Were you aware that Althouse is not a leftist? Just wondering--she's quite the public intellectual and has made her political views clear. Maybe you could try reading before you bloviate.

#57 - Posted by: Robert Young on January 28, 2008 08:24 PM

BTW, that comma after "now" is so completely unnecessarily.

#58 - Posted by: sarahk on January 28, 2008 08:27 PM

Ummm... How 'bout that Tom Clancy?

I think I missed something. Seriously, anyone who takes anything Frank J. says serious needs serious help, Ann Althouse is, evidently, a jerk.

#59 - Posted by: AR on January 28, 2008 08:33 PM

Hi "warlord." Were you aware that Althouse is not a leftist?

She's by no means a hardcore leftist and she's sympathetic to the right on a lot of foreign policy issues, but she's said in the past she's still a Democrat. (I haven't been to her site in a while, so feel free to point out if that's no longer the case.)

#60 - Posted by: WAL on January 28, 2008 08:55 PM

You know, it's possible that Althouse is an avid (livid?) IMAO reader. Her diatribe could have been a great leg pull. I say we cut her - and Frank - some slack. Besides, she might put that pretty picture back up and I'll have a reason to read her blog again!

#61 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 28, 2008 08:56 PM

I was forced to read Song of Soloman in high school. It was disgusting. The main character has an affair with his cousin (ewwwwwww), then when he dumps her, she tries to kill him once a month. The book was so lame I didn't even bother finishing it.

#62 - Posted by: Oromin on January 28, 2008 11:30 PM

Her poltically orientation doesn't really matter, I found her comments to be a touch shitty and condscending.

#63 - Posted by: warlord conservative on January 29, 2008 09:17 AM

This blog is like the driving through the crappy apartment complex just across the train tracks from the public high school.

See, the thing about this blog is that, in order to 'get it', one must possess something called 'a sense of humour'. You have successfully demonstrated that you are not currently in possession of one.

But you're in luck! For the low, low price of $49.99, a team of technicians could be at your door in five minutes or less to install a state-of-the-art Sense of Humour! No longer will you draw those questioning looks when you laugh at Al Franken and Bill Maher! With your new Sense of Humour, you will laugh along with your friends and family at things that are actually funny!

Call Now! Operators are standing by.

#64 - Posted by: on January 29, 2008 02:18 PM

Hey SS: Forget the grammer. The point is, we like Frank. We don't like you. Frank is fun; you are peevish. (Did I spell that correctly?)

#65 - Posted by: George on January 29, 2008 02:41 PM

Give Mr Snell a break:
"snell", n., a short piece of nylon, gut, or the like, by which a fishhook is attached to a line.

Cheers

#66 - Posted by: J.M. Heinrichs on January 29, 2008 11:45 PM

"I remember in that college class I had a choice between getting an A or saying exactly what I thought of Toni Morrison in my final paper."

Gosh, just imagine. If you had had writing skills AND the ability to formulate a cogent argument for your position, you could have expressed your feelings with respect to Ms. Morrison and also gotten that A into the bargain.

Of course, such shortcomings are never the fault of the student involved, are they? It's always a question of the mean, evil libbie professor victimizing the poor, innocent conserva-student.

(eyes roll)

#67 - Posted by: Tarzan on January 30, 2008 02:48 PM

Actually #68, that's pretty much how English classes work these days. It doesn't matter how retarded and untenable the premise is, if you can find a nice flake of evidence, then fill in the rest with slick BS that fits with the typical deranged worldview of the average English prof., you can go a long way. (As evidenced by the A on my "Marxist" interpretation of "The Invisible Man"; an obviously anticommunist text.) To my knowledge (and my last check of JSTOR), I am still the only person to ever attempt this.

I think the only reason I survived that class was by feeding my mutant sense of irony.

#68 - Posted by: Thursday on January 30, 2008 06:12 PM

you could have expressed your feelings with respect to Ms. Morrison and also gotten that A into the bargain.

Yes, Timmy, and there really is a Santa Claus. College professors love it when their students disagree with them (especially their conservative students) and are never petty, vindictive, and dogmatic. Afterall, they treat their colleagues with such civility . . .

#69 - Posted by: WAL on January 30, 2008 09:45 PM

Thanks for demonstrating one of only two possibilities for you, Timmy:

1) You're still in high school and/or never actually attended university, or

2) You've never attempted to question this kind of professor (even respectfully) before. These are the kind who really wanted to be propagandists for the Red Army but had the 'misfortune' to be born in a free country. They punish students who think independently (even as other professors are working to train their students to do so) because they aren't concerned about education so much as brainwashing future followers in their cult of narcissism.

And in your case, kiddo, it seems to be working. Congratulations for living up to your aspirations of becoming a minion.

(golf clap)

#70 - Posted by: Basilisk on January 31, 2008 11:26 PM

I think the only reason I survived that class was by feeding my mutant sense of irony.

You too, eh? I survived by thinking of my 'essays' as parody.

Admittedly, you can have a lot of fun with the stuffy pinkos. A friend told me about this one prof who basically used her 'class' as a soapbox to rant about capitalism/evangelise impressionable young minds to the joys of Communism. After turning in a paper that he'd taken pains to research thoroughly and write well but only earned a 'C', he decided to conduct an experiment.

His next paper had no research at all, and was nothing but a screed against capitalism. The mark from that one?

An 'A', and glowing praise on what an excellent and well-researched paper it was.

He stayed in the class for an easy grade. Tools were meant to be used, after all.

#71 - Posted by: Basilisk on January 31, 2008 11:40 PM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933