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January 29, 2008
I Just Realized Something
I actually do care about the Florida primary and hope Romney wins. I just really don't like McCain and Huckabee (and have no strong opinion about Giuliani -- much like most Florida voters). I just wish there was some aspect to Romney to get behind other than "acceptable to conservatives." Liberals seem to hate him, but liberals also hate Bush so liberal hate alone only gets you so far in my book. What Romney needs is an image change. First thing: Grow a goatee and shave your head. That will make you stand out from the paint by numbers presidential candidates. Next, lose the suit and wear something more appropriate for a member of Hell's Angels. Thirdly, tame a timber wolf and have it follow you around on the campaign trail. Finally, lose the long winded speeched. Instead, just shout to assembled crowds words like "CRUSH!" and "DESTROY!" (those really are great applause lines). If you feel you must say something more, say, "I am Death! My coming cannot be stopped!" If Romney can pull that off, I'll not only vote for him, I'll donate to his campaign. 33 Responses To "I Just Realized Something"
It'll never happen. He's too much of a corporate pussy. #1 - Posted by: Dick on January 29, 2008 11:25 AMYou know, I actually voted for Romney before I voted against him... #2 - Posted by: RedWhiteAndTrue on January 29, 2008 11:28 AM"Mitt" is a crappy nickname. "Fang" is better. #3 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on January 29, 2008 11:55 AMMormons don't yell "Crush" or "Destroy". We mainly just drive like we've had a lobotomy and serve jell-o at funerals. A cougar would be more likely than a timberwolf and it would have the same effect. #4 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on January 29, 2008 11:58 AMSounds like you want him to base his campain on American Gladiator.
Romney and McCain swinging at each other on skyrings, Huckabee diving headfirst under the flaming center of the pool. (He is a Baptist) I just dont see how John Edwards fits in #5 - Posted by: IJ on January 29, 2008 12:01 PM#5 John Edwards just gets pummeled. Do you even need to be more specific than that? #7 - Posted by: D-Rock on January 29, 2008 12:21 PMMany point to the winning election strategies of Newt Gingrich, but it took Frank J to remind us how Jessie "The Body" Ventura stormed into office. Of course, Jessie "The Body" was an idiot...but, he won. #8 - Posted by: Son of Bob on January 29, 2008 12:23 PMLittle known fact - Romney always wears a suit because he has a full-body tatoo depicting Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a live bat. [Hmm... you gives me idea... -Ed.] #9 - Posted by: juggernaut on January 29, 2008 12:25 PMIf you think your a conservative, then you would like to have a strong individual running for president. One who can make decisions on their own. A puppet like Romney has nothing but strings for his lobbyist to pull. Only McCain and Paul have a history of standing their ground like a true conservative and not being a flip flopper. So i guess that means McCain is the best choice, Democrats are too short minded and the world is not ready for Mr. Smith... i mean Ron Paul. #10 - Posted by: on January 29, 2008 12:34 PMRon Paul pwned McCain in the last debate. McCain is great at economics. No one could have answered Ron Paul's question. That video is bogus and probably faked. I saw the debate live and McCain knew exactly what he was talking about. Ron Paul is full of it. Some of you may not like John McCain but most Americans do. It will not matter if a few Republican voters decide not to vote for McCain because so many independent voters want to vote for him. John McCain is going to win! Most importantly, McCain will guide us through the upcoming wars and keep America safe. Everyone please vote for John McCain! McCain '08 John McCain http://www.johnmccain.com #11 - Posted by: utrejch4 on January 29, 2008 12:36 PMI just dont see how John Edwards fits in Where do you think the flames come from? #12 - Posted by: Matthew on January 29, 2008 12:36 PMRon Paul thinks we should use the gold standard. That alone shows he is a complete idiot with economics. He wants us to base our currency on a material that has no real intrinsic value (you can't eat it, it is a lousy building material, and while it has some high tech uses it is used in such relatively small amounts as to be meaningless to industry). Worse, he wants us to base our currency on a commodity that other nations can control. Most of the gold in the world is not within the U.S. borders. Other countries can manipulate the gold market by putting more or less of it into circulation. And, unlike money, which doesn't grow on trees, gold can literally be dug up out of the dirt. And again, most of it is not within our borders. So South Africa could just step up mining operations and devalue the American dollar. Great idea. Ron Paul is a fool who appeals to paranoid isolationists. #13 - Posted by: Gullyborg on January 29, 2008 12:48 PMI just dont see how John Edwards fits in He'll be happy to show you. #14 - Posted by: Exurban Jon on January 29, 2008 12:54 PMSo, with Mr. FrankJ Funnyman's recent endorsement of Mitt Romney, will he replace the Fred Thompson Fact t-shirts with Mitt Romney Facts Sacred Underpants? #15 - Posted by: Sanjayrupta Pravati on January 29, 2008 12:55 PMThis is hilarious. I'm going to forward it to the Romney campaign. #16 - Posted by: Roger on January 29, 2008 12:57 PMNo no no dumb Gullibleborg! McCain can't touch Paul on economic policy and everybody knows it but you. Watch the video or read the article. Any person who watches that video and thinks McCain is smart is a freaking moron who sucks!! McCain got pwned times a million. McCain just wants to invade more countries and get more U.S. soldiers killed and spend more tax payer money. Never ever vote for McCain! It is a vote for insanity! #17 - Posted by: PaulKnows on January 29, 2008 12:57 PM"I just dont see how John Edwards fits in #5 - Posted by: IJ on January 29, 2008 12:01 PM" Well, he certainly couldn't particpate as a gladiator; the nerf staff would be too heavy. But.. Uses for John Edwards: Cheerleader #11 - Posted by: utrejch4 on January 29, 2008 12:36 PM Troll Fight! #20 - Posted by: AR on January 29, 2008 01:58 PMI wasn't a big fan of McCain in the past because the NRA didn't like the campaign finance reform, but that isn't representative of his leadership abilities and pretty conservative voting record. All I'm saying is, you may want to look a little closer at him instead of just brewing over the immigration issue forever. Romney is a joke. He is basically Hillary Clinton with a different letter next to his name and no balls. #21 - Posted by: cberry on January 29, 2008 01:58 PMRomney turned around an Olympics. Big deal - Rudy Giuliani turned around New York City, against the will of the nost worthless Democratic City Council on the planet. I thank God 9/11 happened in '01 and not 10 years earlier - there would have been looting for months. Giuliani instilled not just respect for law and order, but a completely different mindset - one of civic pride. America had a chance to elect a leader who knew how to get things done, never mind the crybabies. But a few well-aimed early shots (no doubt orchestrated by Team Clinton and their NY allies) somehow made Rudy seem scandalous - laughable, to anyone who's followed this hopelessly straight arrow throughout his crime-busting career. Florida could deliver a miracle, but no one's counting on it - and it's really a damn shame. You think McCain's gonna stand up to this (even more) Democratic Congress? Like I said - you all better hope Hillary wins the nomination... #22 - Posted by: bunkerboy on January 29, 2008 02:04 PMyou may want to look a little closer at him It's hard enough looking at him from a distance. Romney is a joke. He is basically Hillary Clinton with a different letter next to his name Thats funny. How about all of the Democrat names next to McCains: McCain-Feingold Yeah, you know bunkerboy, I also like the way Guiliani talks to people when he's not "stumping." He has an immense grasp of just about everything. Unfortunately, he's "saddled" in more ways than one now. However, he would make a good VP if he doesn't win Florida and drops out. #24 - Posted by: Jimmy on January 29, 2008 02:16 PMThe problem I see is this... What do you do? The Libertarian party is out to lunch trying to figure out how Ron Paul got off the compound riding an elephant to mediocrity. As much as I dislike both of the RINOs, they are better than the Clintonistas or Barak Horde. Romney needs a wizard's cap and a handlebar mustache. And one of those teeny tiny novelty motorcycles to ride around. What I'm mostly worried about is that there isn't any candidate, Republican or Democrat who has promised to ensure that the theocracy so righteously established by Mr. Bush will continue into perpetuity. First candidate to do that will get my vote. #26 - Posted by: 3/19ths tsp. shredded lemon peel on January 29, 2008 03:01 PMGreat Maker, now we're infested with trolls for Herr Paul, Juanita McCain, and Mormon-haters Anonymous (and their various permutations). Frank, you need to start charging admission to the world's most diverse troll ecosystem on the intarwebs! #27 - Posted by: Master Shake on January 29, 2008 03:43 PMRomney the Ruthless. #28 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on January 29, 2008 03:50 PM#10 and #11 Juan McAmnesty McCain a conservative? I think not. The independents like McAmnesty because he has strong liberal tendencies but isn't totally out in left field with the tin foil hat. McAmensty has admitted, before he denied his admission, that he's pretty clueless about economics. He's proven his lack of leadership and his total disregard for those he is suppose to represent and lead with his finger in our face last summer over immigration. #29 - Posted by: katablog on January 29, 2008 04:16 PMFrank, you need to start charging admission to the world's most diverse troll ecosystem on the intarwebs! This is diverse? Man, you people really are out of touch. RON PAUL! #30 - Posted by: PaulKnows on January 29, 2008 04:30 PMDon't worry, I don't support McCain, either. #31 - Posted by: Gullyborg on January 29, 2008 05:09 PMI agree. He should get the whole Edward Norton look from "American History X," except of course the Nazi tattoos. That would give him some real presence. Personally, I'm a Fred Thompson man. Now that he's not running, I'm going for Romney. Huckabee is fine except for his views on prison terms and pardons, Giuliani is out but he was a good candidate. Ron Paul is a cashew right out of a Planter's tin. And seeing that McCain now has momentum as well as delegates, if he becomes the nominee, then fine. He's better than any of the Democrats. Although I don't think it's right that voters who aren't members of the Republican Party have basically been allowed to choose our candidate. His slogan on the signs at the Conventions will be: "McCain: We're fine with you if you end up with the delegates" Hoo-rah. #32 - Posted by: NoGuff on January 30, 2008 02:10 AMDammit, I grew a goatee and shaved my head and nobody is even TALKING about voting for me. I should totally kick Romney's ass. Post a comment
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