About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

February 07, 2008
The Future of the Republicans
Posted by Frank J. at 12:34 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (60)

What now for the Republican Party? It's been in a downward spiral for some time, but it never has seemed to hit rock bottom... at least not enough to try and do any better. Now we can't even get a conservative elected in a Republican primary; can it get much worse?

I guess the Republicans are like a self-destructive alcoholic, and the Democrats are enablers by sucking so badly that the Republicans don't have to strive to be any better. Now, a party that is an abusive drunk would actually be kinda cool if it took out all its inebriated rage on foreign countries, but the Republican Party is more of a quiet drunk, sitting in the corner mumbling while wasting all its money on booze.

So, can we build up the Republican Party without having a huge loss first (and apparently it has to be really huge since 2006 wasn't enough)? Are things going to have to suck even more with liberals in charge of all three branches before we can get better? There's a war on, though, and we don't really have time for the Republicans to find themselves.

The thing is, conservatives just want to fight for something, but we're not sure what we can fight right now. We want to fight terrorists, but we first have to fight the hippies to be able to do that properly. The only problem is that there is no valiant leader shouting, "Strike the hippies now! They are small and weak and shall fall easily to our might!" That's what we Republicans need: A hippie-slaying warrior king. First person to go into Berkeley and trash the hippies will be the new future leader of the Republicans. Hopefully someone will do it soon.

Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
60 Responses To "The Future of the Republicans"

Why not fight for a cleaner world and embrace green technologies? If we go green really fast we can leave the crazy, cranky islamists broke holding huge barrels of useless oil that nobody wants.

#1 - Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 12:40 PM

We had such a leader. But ignorant voters listened to the MSM's talking points and rejected him. Now we have to pay the price. God save the Republic.

#2 - Posted by: Vote crotchety old bastard! on February 7, 2008 12:41 PM

#1 - Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 12:40 PM

You are one of these ignorant voters I speak of. Go on, keep hunting for ManBearPig.

#3 - Posted by: Vote crotchety old bastard! on February 7, 2008 12:43 PM

Romney just bowed out of the campaign.

#4 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 12:49 PM

You are one of these ignorant voters I speak of. Go on, keep hunting for ManBearPig.

No crotchety old bastard (cute username!!) it sure isn't because of Al Gore. I don't care what he says. Gore may have done more harm than good because he makes the right against whatever issue he is advocating. It is the numerous warnings issued by U.S. and international scientific and environmental organizations that has me concerned.

#5 - Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 12:50 PM

Yeah, Mitt has "suspended" his campaign.
Now I know how Crockett and Bowie felt lookin' out over that wall at Santa Ana.

#6 - Posted by: BLC on February 7, 2008 12:55 PM

It has occured to me that if we were to "superheat" a large sandy area we would create a highly reflective surfce that would reflect a percentage of the sun's energy back into space. This would (in therory) provide a "cooling" process and possibly help alleviate some of this "global warming" stuff I keep running into everytime I freaking turn around.

Now if we could just find a suitable large sandy place and figure out a way to supperheat it.....

#7 - Posted by: TerribleTroy on February 7, 2008 12:55 PM

#5 - Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 12:50 PM

Nate, you should know better. I hate sounding like a Ron Paul supporter but the truth of the matter is that this whole climate change talk is just another liberal idea to bring about global socialism.

Check out some of the articles here: http://www.heartland.org/Index.cfm

#8 - Posted by: Vote crotchety old bastard! on February 7, 2008 12:57 PM

There are no national Republican national leaders who have BALLS! Big Brass Balls who will step up and punch liberals in their stupid faces whenever given the chance! Someone who will tell Hillary to “Be gone ugly wench” with enough force that she will be gone and know that she is an ugly wench at the same time! Someone who will kick every RINO in their teeny tiny balls until they get the message! Someone who will bomb every muslim worldwide and let God sort ‘em out! Someone who will send a B52 squadron over the IRS headquarters and then say “better to seek forgiveness after than permission before LOL” and finally someone who will tell the TV networks to either support America or die…and they will support America because they don’t want to die!

#9 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 7, 2008 12:57 PM

#1 - Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 12:40 PM

If we go Coal Gray we can leave the crazy, cranky islamists broke holding huge barrels of useless oil that nobody wants even faster!

#10 - Posted by: AR on February 7, 2008 01:00 PM

yesterday, a person called into the Jason Lewis show(ktlkfm, he subs for Rush alot) and said there was a new national 3rd party being created, in process of building website now. Several nationally know conservatives are working on it. It will be called consertives for America or something. He gave some names and the exact web address, but I was driving and missed it. The guy says they going to run a conservative, but didn't say who or how.

#11 - Posted by: lastconservativestanding on February 7, 2008 01:04 PM

ROMNEY IS GONE. SuckIt CONSERVATIVES. YOU ARE FINISHED.

#12 - Posted by: SuckIt on February 7, 2008 01:04 PM

The liberal disease has clearly infested the Republican Pary, ussjc. The only remedy would seem to be multiple disasters on multiple fronts during the next four years leading to the biggest pendulum swing in history. The problem is, it's gonna be painful.

I'm seeing Bush, Fred Thompson, et al, endorsing McCain and sinking his campaign to... wait for it... Obama.

Can we say: "design a new flag" for the coming Socialist States of America?

#13 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 01:08 PM

#13 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 01:08 PM

Just take the Soviet flag and add Hillary's picture to it.

#14 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on February 7, 2008 01:12 PM

Take back the House with a second Contract with America.

Rebuild and try again.

The alternative is to forfeit the nation to feckless liberals and squishy moderates.

I'm a dad. I can't let that happen while I live and breathe.

#15 - Posted by: RockThrowingPeasant on February 7, 2008 01:17 PM

How much does a plane ticket to Berkley cost? I only need a one-way...

#16 - Posted by: RedWhiteAndTrue on February 7, 2008 01:19 PM

Well, it looks like mccain has won the republican party nomination for president despite his opposition to the conservative wing of the party.

It will be interesting to see if he can win the presidency without the support of the conservative wing of the party.

#17 - Posted by: George on February 7, 2008 01:20 PM

Problem, Rock. Only "wake-up events" can change the mind of a majority of ignorant people.

#18 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 01:20 PM

How much does a plane ticket to Berkley cost? I only need a one-way...

You can use my place as your base of operations, provided you agree to handle San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Shallow Alto, as well.

#19 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on February 7, 2008 01:23 PM

Hippie Drill!
http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/game_player/index.jhtml?game=83927

High Score is our new leader.

#20 - Posted by: CraigO on February 7, 2008 01:24 PM

hippies can't stand death metal

#21 - Posted by: CraigO on February 7, 2008 01:28 PM

21#- Maybe we should call in Eric Cartman to deal with them...

#22 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 01:48 PM

#11 - lastconservativestanding:

Try this one:

http://www.dailypundit.com/AmericanConservativeParty/

#23 - Posted by: Al Dente on February 7, 2008 02:01 PM

I blame the "Vast Moderate Wing conspiracy"
So, do I steam open the primary ballot I have not yet delivered to the auditor and mark some other candidate that is no longer running as my choice?

#24 - Posted by: Nylecoj on February 7, 2008 02:10 PM

Oh, get over it Frank. Turn off the computer and the radio and go outside for a while. It's not that big of a deal. McCain is a better candidate to face the Hildebeast or Obama. He's not that far off from whatever it is that "true conservatives" think they want.

Enough with the anticipation of the Apocalypse already.

#25 - Posted by: K T Cat on February 7, 2008 02:12 PM

I know hippies. I've hated them all my life. I've kept this town free of hippies on my own since I was five and a half. But I can't contain them on my own anymore. We have to do something, fast!

#26 - Posted by: CraigO on February 7, 2008 02:15 PM

I can't let you go out there, Chef!

#27 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 02:24 PM

quote:
"I guess the Republicans are like a self-destructive alcoholic, and the Democrats are enablers by sucking so badly that the Republicans don't have to strive to be any better."

#1] I can only think Ted Kennedy is somehow in the wrong party, though he is still the de-facto poster child.
#2] I believe Hillary would fully agree with #1.

#28 - Posted by: erg on February 7, 2008 02:29 PM

The Republicans won't slay the hippies or anyone else because they are victims of the Stockholm Syndrome; they routinely cede power to the lefties because they have bought into the myth that the Dems are in charge of all things governmental and that Republicans serve solely at the pleasure of whoever happens to be the chief liberal at a given time.

#29 - Posted by: Jeff on February 7, 2008 02:35 PM

Yea, FRANK! K T Cat is right! Turn off the radio and TV and go outside! Drop your drawers and bend over the nearest rock and wait for some liberal homo or some rino homo to come up behind you and bugger you! It's all the rage now...and us conservatives need to just bend over and take it up the keister and anyone that disagrees is either a homophobe or a negrophophobe or a liberalphobe or a somethingphobe...

#30 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 7, 2008 02:39 PM

Our problem as a nation is that we are focusing too much on the stuff that doesn't matter (politics) and not enough on the stuff that does (Britany, Heath, Paris etc.). I for one will be glad to get back to 24/7 coverage of some hollywood dickhead who chokes on their own vomit! It just doesn't get any better than that...and FOX News does 24/7 the best of any of them with Greta and HeraldoI'mGaterThanA3DollarBill...

#31 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 7, 2008 02:43 PM

It doesn't really matter who the Dems put up - we own Diebold so all the votes will count for the Republican candidate anyway.

Maybe we could fight to make it illegal to own any weapons that don't violate the Geneva Convention. Or we could make it a crime to have 2 first names! That would be a fun one.

I suppose the best thing we could fight for is a constitutional amendment requiring the deportation of anyone who pronounced the name of Fideland as "Cuber". And Big Fat Teddy would be on the first ferry to freedom.

#32 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on February 7, 2008 02:49 PM

Cave Troll promise to strike the hippies now! Hippies small and weak and easy to crush with big rock! Vote Cave Troll for President in 2008!


**Me Cave Troll, and Cave Troll approve this message from Cave Troll.**

#33 - Posted by: Cave Troll 2008 on February 7, 2008 02:55 PM

Nate - Many a dinosaur died so that my big american V8 with the leaky 4bbl carb can drip raw gas in the street between smoky burnouts. I will not allow their death to be in vain.

#9 USSJC - Excellent. That's my kind of America.

Frank J. for "Some Office" 08
USSJC for "Vice-something" 08

#34 - Posted by: innominatus on February 7, 2008 03:00 PM

HAIL THE UNBREAKABLE UNION!

SING WITH ME, COMRADES!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpKRd2xQeq8

Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh
Splotila naveki velikaya Rus'!
Da zdravstvuyet sozdanny voley narodov
Yediny, moguchy Sovetsky Soyuz!

Slavsya, Otechestvo nashe svobodnoye,
Druzhby narodov nadyozhny oplot!
Partiya Lenina — sila narodnaya
Nas k torzhestvu kommunizma vedyot!

Skvoz' grozy siyalo nam solntse svobody,
I Lenin veliky nam put' ozaril,
Na pravoye delo on podnyal narody,
Na trud i na podvigi nas vdokhnovil!
CHORUS
3.

V pobede bessmertnykh idey kommunizma
My vidim gryadushcheye nashey strany,
I krasnomu znameni slavnoy otchizny
My budem vsegda bezzavetno verny!

#35 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 03:03 PM

ussjc has caused my lights to go out.

#36 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 03:10 PM

I used to log onto IMAO for a laugh to make feel better. In the wake of this weeks events...nothing is funny. Its gray and bleak outside. Total depression. I haven't felt this way since Jimmy Carter was elected.

#37 - Posted by: Doc on February 7, 2008 03:10 PM

In all seriousness, I really think I'm going write-in Cave Troll as my candidate of choice in November!

And I gotta say, Terrible Troy's colling plan sounds pretty good to me. Hollywood has lots of sand, doesn't it?

#38 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 7, 2008 03:18 PM

Sorry, Jimmy! I was only reflecting what I see on TV! I don't think conservatism is dead but we are going to have to fight for it! Electing a dick-head POTUS like McNasty is NOT the answer!

#39 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 7, 2008 03:26 PM

I'm bendin' ovah a fo-leaf clovah,
That I nevah bent befooaaah,
I'll be a votin foha socialist foo,
You'll be right with me and see that I do,

The's no need explainin' the time remainin'
is something that we all abhoooaaah,
So... I'm bendin ova a fo-leaf clovah,
Like I nevah bent befooooaaaaaaah !

#40 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 03:28 PM

Comrade JoeB, you bring a tear to this old communist's eye. But you are too generous in helping these capitalist pigs get a head start on what they will need to learn in order to be released from the re-education camps. But then, they have oppressed the workers, so we will probably just shoot them anyway....

#41 - Posted by: CPUSA HQ on February 7, 2008 03:32 PM

#41 - Posted by: CPUSA HQ on February 7, 2008 03:32 PM

Thank you Comrade. DEATH TO THE CORPORATE IMPERIALISTS!

Workers of the world, unite!

#42 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 03:51 PM

And AlanBBQ is just mad because they took away his magic underwear, but I still have this cool, magic Pope hat!

#43 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 04:26 PM

Shows what you know, pal! I go "commando"...

#44 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 7, 2008 04:57 PM

That's what I said - they took away your magic underwear!

And here you foolishly allow yourself to be repressed by the capitalist pigs so you cannot afford to buy replacement underwear. Rejoice! For in the Worker's Paradise, everyone will have underwear!

#45 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 05:05 PM

Someday we'll look back at this and laugh. Then we'll polish up our VOTE WHIG buttons and limber up our hippie-bashing hammers. It'll be fun.

#46 - Posted by: Ed Flinn on February 7, 2008 05:25 PM

The Republican Party has the political equivalent of Battered Wife Syndrome. Even though those who have been elected as Republicans have abused their base over and again, the GOP members just keep staying. Sure, the elected Repubs promise not to abuse us anymore or say they'll change this time, but the keep doing it. Until the GOP members have the intestinal fortitude to leave, nothing will change.

I left the Party after it decided to leave me. And as an AZ resident, I can tell you that John McCain did little in terms of representing the will of his state constituents. What makes anyone think that he'll be any more attentive to the desires of a larger body?

#47 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 7, 2008 05:36 PM

The best we can hope for is to take back the House of Representatives, keep the Democrats from getting 60 seats in the Senate, and then hope Bobby Jindahl runs for President in 2012.

#48 - Posted by: fosterdad on February 7, 2008 06:32 PM

"So, can we build up the Republican Party without having a huge loss first (and apparently it has to be really huge since 2006 wasn't enough)?"
No. It took Carter(piss be upon him) to get Reagan.
"Are things going to have to suck even more with liberals in charge of all three branches before we can get better?"
Yes. But don't worry, they will.

#49 - Posted by: on February 7, 2008 07:36 PM

#47 I believe the answer is wishful thinking and a vivid imagination...which might be the only way to get through the next four years, after we carpet bomb Berkeley and Noam Chomsky.

Does anybone know what the current Republican platform is?

#50 - Posted by: Robert on February 7, 2008 08:48 PM

See what you bigots cost me with your stupid border protection?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080207/ap_en_ot/grammys_winehouse

Oh wait, she's not a Mexican chick. NM

#51 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 09:36 PM

JoeB131 is a perfect example of what is wrong with this country. He is rude, crude, disrespectful, he profanes that which is sacred, he is unpatriotic and immature plus he is not remotely funny. Even the worst comic knows that a gag that's used over and over again stops being funny about the 3rd time it's used. Get over yourself and stop being so jealous.

When this is the lowest common denominator is it any wonder we have the leaders we do? We get the leaders we deserve, unfortunately.

We have met the enemy and he is us.

#52 - Posted by: seanmahair on February 7, 2008 10:05 PM

But then, you bigots are trying to stop my favorite drugs from coming across the border. Damned bigots!

#53 - Posted by: JoeB131 (the really real one - really!) on February 7, 2008 10:07 PM

Sorry, couldn't hear you bigots. Too busy slapping the monkey over Mexican lesbian prawn.

#54 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 11:37 PM

Unfortunately, none of the choices the Republicans were offered have the vision, or the oratory ability, to overcome the inertia of the social and economic train wreck we find ourselves aboard. And yet, we will, once again, put our trust in one of the very same politicians that has been at the controls of that impending disaster for the last quarter century. We, the People, didn't create the Social Security or Medicare pyramid schemes, we go the invoice. We didn't destroy one of the world's most successful public educations systems, and spend trillions of dollars doing it, we footed the bill. We didn't live like kings, while government workers and politicians suffered and scraped to support us. On the contrary, it was the same people who now ask us, no, tell us to once again "trust them" to put us back on the track to prosperity and security. It's amazing. It took the government/leaders of Rome more than a thousand years to bring her down, and ours have driven us to the brink in little more than two hundred. Take off your shades, brothers and sisters, cuz the future doesn't look bright.

#55 - Posted by: Eric on February 7, 2008 11:39 PM

Where can I get a hippy drill? Does it run on gasoline or diesel? Either way it is well worth the cost, I heard that thing gets 8 gallons to the mile! Could keep the drill cool though if they let us have our freon back...

Funny how a lot of them had targets on their backs. I also noticed the hypocrites were driving gasoline powered vans. Volkswagens mostly, but some of them might have been Toyota Sienna's.

#56 - Posted by: GregVolk on February 8, 2008 01:17 AM

Sean, most of the posts on this thread attributed to me aren't me. Obviously, if they had a proper control where only one person had access to a screen name, we wouldn't have this problem.

Obviously, it bothers a lot of the nutbags that they don't really run this party, and they never really did.

#57 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 8, 2008 08:43 AM

#57 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 8, 2008 08:43 AM

Shut your pinko mouth jackass! These so-called "nutbags" were once in charge of the whole friggin world! Oh, yeah you know what else. I gave amnesty cause there was only like three million of the bastards. I thought those commie scumbags in congress would enforce the border. Last time I trusted those congressional rats, I'll tell ya! Anyway, shut the hell up! Maybe people wouldn't try to post in your name if you didn't go around calling people bigots and nativists. Get outta my party, pinko!

#58 - Posted by: Ronald Reagan on February 8, 2008 10:51 AM

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the - Web Reconnaissance for 02/08/2008 A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day...so check back often.

#59 - Posted by: David M on February 8, 2008 12:55 PM

#58 You're not really Ronald Reagan. You're a filthy Mormon. And a bigot.

#60 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 8, 2008 05:14 PM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933